How do you rate yourself? 1-10 as a friend?

[-Ariel-]

Everyone who knows me well would say I'm a nice person. I just dont go out of my way for people like others do. I dont put myself out there. I'm really bad about keeping in touch and following up with people. I'm too much of a hermit I guess. I dont have very high inclusion needs IRL at all. I'd rather do my own thing than socialize. I've been described by some as self-absorbed. Not meaning selfish or self-centered (I dont think the world revolves around me for instance), but more along the lines of I'd very focused on what I'm doing in my own little world.

I'd rather go somewhere like shopping for instance, by myself rather than with a friend. Most of the time I dont want to bother interacting if i dont have to. I'm socially lazy but surprisingly high functioning. Besides, I really only have 1-2 close friends. I dont connect that closely with people now that Im an adult. I have lots of acquaintances but I never take it to that next level as far as making plans for social engagements.

Overall, I'd rate myself a 3.

Holy shit smurf... great post... so true... I was once like a social butterfly, but now so much more introspective... and reserved... OMG... you hit it right on the head... like I have my S O and like 5 friends that I am increasingly becoming more distant too... but yes... you are saying what I am currently transitioning too... we aren't self absorbed, well maybe a little, but instrospective...lol... 3 my ass, you rock the mike... I love my friends but as they are married and I'm not, its just weird, I mean I can still kick it with them, they are always trying to get me to go out and do more things with them... and I'm kind of stagnating the relationship... oh well. I'm still unsure how I want things to unfold.

 

[nimbus]

how is seeking pleasure an egoic tendency?

also, 4.

 

[calveless wonder]

5 or 6

i'm very very loyal and giving when i can be but i do really selfish shit sometimes and kinda take things for granted unknowingly especially for people i've known for a long time.

when i first meet people and really consider them a friend i'm probably an 8-9..
goes downhill afte rthat

 

[calveless wonder]

Everyone who knows me well would say I'm a nice person. I just dont go out of my way for people like others do. I dont put myself out there. I'm really bad about keeping in touch and following up with people. I'm too much of a hermit I guess. I dont have very high inclusion needs IRL at all. I'd rather do my own thing than socialize. I've been described by some as self-absorbed. Not meaning selfish or self-centered (I dont think the world revolves around me for instance), but more along the lines of I'd very focused on what I'm doing in my own little world.

I'd rather go somewhere like shopping for instance, by myself rather than with a friend. Most of the time I dont want to bother interacting if i dont have to. I'm socially lazy but surprisingly high functioning. Besides, I really only have 1-2 close friends. I dont connect that closely with people now that Im an adult. I have lots of acquaintances but I never take it to that next level as far as making plans for social engagements.

Overall, I'd rate myself a 3.

wow....that's totally me

 

[chris302001]

I'd say an 8-9........I'm a pretty good guy.

 

[Smurfy]

I'd say an 8-9........I'm a pretty good guy.

agreed!

 

[stilleto]

Everyone who knows me well would say I'm a nice person. I just dont go out of my way for people like others do. I dont put myself out there. I'm really bad about keeping in touch and following up with people. I'm too much of a hermit I guess. I dont have very high inclusion needs IRL at all. I'd rather do my own thing than socialize. I've been described by some as self-absorbed. Not meaning selfish or self-centered (I dont think the world revolves around me for instance), but more along the lines of I'd very focused on what I'm doing in my own little world.

I'd rather go somewhere like shopping for instance, by myself rather than with a friend. Most of the time I dont want to bother interacting if i dont have to. I'm socially lazy but surprisingly high functioning. Besides, I really only have 1-2 close friends. I dont connect that closely with people now that Im an adult. I have lots of acquaintances but I never take it to that next level as far as making plans for social engagements.

Overall, I'd rate myself a 3.

this is close to my answer too.
i'm a good friend and a nice person, but i put my family first, then myself.
and I enjoy my alone time, so i don't really enjoy going shopping with other people, or having lots of friends over. If i'm home alone, I like it that way, whereas other friends will invite me over if one of us is going to be alone.
i'd probably rate myself a 6 because i LOVE my friends so much, but i'm probably a 5 because I don't show it enough.

 

[chris302001]

agreed!

MWUAHAHAHAHA! My plan is working!

 

[jerseyrugger76]

Everyone who knows me well would say I'm a nice person. I just dont go out of my way for people like others do. I dont put myself out there. I'm really bad about keeping in touch and following up with people. I'm too much of a hermit I guess. I dont have very high inclusion needs IRL at all. I'd rather do my own thing than socialize. I've been described by some as self-absorbed. Not meaning selfish or self-centered (I dont think the world revolves around me for instance), but more along the lines of I'd very focused on what I'm doing in my own little world.

I'd rather go somewhere like shopping for instance, by myself rather than with a friend. Most of the time I dont want to bother interacting if i dont have to. I'm socially lazy but surprisingly high functioning. Besides, I really only have 1-2 close friends. I dont connect that closely with people now that Im an adult. I have lots of acquaintances but I never take it to that next level as far as making plans for social engagements.

Overall, I'd rate myself a 3.

Well, you're definitely one of the most self-aware & intellectually honest posters on here!

I can better define myself in opposition to this. I don't have a lot of acquaintances. I'm sort of the anti-AAP. I'm not inclined to chat people up, nor are people inclined to approach me. However, I was once told by a guy on my rugby team that I should be more "out going." Whatever. The long and short of this is that, if you make it onto the short list of friends (i.e. people I will Facebook, which implies that I went to school with you at some point, give or take about 20 names), you can call me at 3AM and I will bail you out of jail or sit with you while you wait to get an abortion or paternity test results, even if we haven't spoken (in person) since high school graduation 13 yrs ago. I'm a Scorpio. That's the type of thing we do. In exchange for that, we demand 100% loyalty and honesty, nothing more. It's kinda like the mafia.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

out of 10? 10.

i wont commit to "friendship" anymore, because that implies indiscriminate alignment.

ill align with a person, and expect that the person that i am aligning with will reciprocate with equal respect, regard, committment etc. thats what "friendship" ultimately means - indiscriminate alignment.

im not interested in being indiscriminately aligned with an entity (man, woman, whatever) because that puts me at the mercy of their actions/sensibilities. it takes my behaviour, actions, beliefs etc out of the equation. why should that be? why should *I* commit to something without any recourse into their shitty behaviour? (of course, their behaviour by dent of "friendship" is assumed to be good/beneficial. it makes no sense.

my friends are people that i decided to be so with when i was too young/ignorant to be so discerning - people that happened to share my time/space when i was in my formative years. ive had a lot of those "friends" act really nastily to me and in recourse, i eliminate them from my friendship group.

now that im old enough to actually assess people as human beings in adulthood, all ill engage in is alignment. that is all. and i reassess constantly. ive thrown out several "friends" in the past 2 years, and have downgraded them to status of "aquaintances" or "people that i know a lot about" - but not "frineds"

im just a guy. good guy. great guy, even. now that im an adult, ill align with people that are (mutually) useful, but that is all.

to be considered as my "friend" as per my perceptions in my adult years, with my adult brain making decisions, is really, really meaningful. ive made one friend like that, in the past 10 years, because we share so many values.

so if you get there, and reciprocate with me, then as a friend, i rate at least a 10. probably more than a 10, because i conduct myself with a standard of behaviour (the definition of class) that completely blitzes the sorts of behaviours that most people accept as qualifying someone for status of "friend" normally.

at the moment, i have 3 friends. i expect that a couple will eliminate themselves soon.

alone is all we are, whether you know it or no