Honest question for the ladies

[bstone]

Ok, here is the deal. There is this woman at my gym who I find to be simply irresistable. I would like some ideas of things that a guy can say to you to start a conversation in the gym and not sound like a cheeseball.
I mean it is not like I know anything about this woman and, for me to say something like "I find you interesting" would be a complete lie! The only thing that I find interesting right now is her a$$. I am just being honest. I refuse to resort to pickup lines and I want to talk to this girl.

ideas please!

 

[velvett]

Does she have nice eyes?

Do you work out often at the same time?

Buy her some water in a bottle and give it to her as she's walking out - then make your move.

Or just causally walk on over to her like my ex to me and ask, " are those real?" (uh eye color) And start up a conversation to see if you have a chance.

He had me with his big innocent smile.

(note: he was a cheating little fuck but that's someone else's problem now.)


Anywhoo...

Be sincere, be yourself and don't stare at her boobs the whole time.


cheers!

 

[karson]

dude

c'mon, thats too easy. walk to her and say "Hi, my name is........."

if that doesnt work try the old, can I get a spot......

Your looking to far into it, if she likes you then really anything you will say will work. just dont be too lame.

 

[HappyScrappy]

it seems I've put this up here a million times now - but this will get you action faster than you will ever know.

use any of the following and she will be a puddle in your arms, wanting you like she's never wanted anyone or thing before, begging you to take her there and now.

trust me.

1) walk up next to her and motion to her that you want to say something that only she can hear, lean over to her and quietly whisper... "I just shit my pants."
She might seem shocked, or even disgusted, but no worries - just take her hand and press it against your butt and then press her hand to her face and verbally insist that she "smell it."

2) on a very similar tone as number one, get her attention and let her know you want to say something private - lean over to her and whisper gently into her ear, "I have an incredibly small and flaccid penis."
Then lean back and give her a knowing smile and then hold up your index finger and thum about an inch apart and just nod... she'll be VERY impressed.

and then if all else fails, then use this one - but be careful, this is the sort of thing that is a last ditch effort only, if you use this too often, then women will catch on and it will just become another line and they won't feel special.

3) approach her wherever she may be, whatever it is that she is doing. saunter in to speaking distance and say, "wow... you really don't sweat much at all for a fat chick."


use any one of these and you will be getting some serious action in the parking lot.
like I said before - trust me.

(I realised just now that you said this was for the ladies, and I'm in no way a lady - but then again, neither is karson I don't think - although he does keep sending me pics of him in a miniskirt hugging a chicken - I don't know what that means)

 

[WarriorPL]

it seems I've put this up here a million times now - but this will get you action faster than you will ever know.

use any of the following and she will be a puddle in your arms, wanting you like she's never wanted anyone or thing before, begging you to take her there and now.

trust me.

1) walk up next to her and motion to her that you want to say something that only she can hear, lean over to her and quietly whisper... "I just shit my pants."
She might seem shocked, or even disgusted, but no worries - just take her hand and press it against your butt and then press her hand to her face and verbally insist that she "smell it."

2) on a very similar tone as number one, get her attention and let her know you want to say something private - lean over to her and whisper gently into her ear, "I have an incredibly small and flaccid penis."
Then lean back and give her a knowing smile and then hold up your index finger and thum about an inch apart and just nod... she'll be VERY impressed.

and then if all else fails, then use this one - but be careful, this is the sort of thing that is a last ditch effort only, if you use this too often, then women will catch on and it will just become another line and they won't feel special.

3) approach her wherever she may be, whatever it is that she is doing. saunter in to speaking distance and say, "wow... you really don't sweat much at all for a fat chick."


use any one of these and you will be getting some serious action in the parking lot.
like I said before - trust me.

(I realised just now that you said this was for the ladies, and I'm in no way a lady - but then again, neither is karson I don't think - although he does keep sending me pics of him in a miniskirt hugging a chicken - I don't know what that means)

lol scrappy, have you tried any of these??


~WizKid

 

[HappyScrappy]

lol scrappy, have you tried any of these??

well, IslandGirl and anyone else that knows me (although I don't think latona has ever seen this side of me) can attest that I have done these things. all of them. mostly in college and right after graduating.
I used to get drunk and either take off my pants and/or shirt and try to trade them with people in the room (usually small girls), or I'd stand on a table and yell out that "I just shit my pants."
I also loved to whisper to girls that "I have a small and flaccid penis"

I also may or may not own some websites related to all of this.

I don't really do much of it anymore since 1) I don't get out much, and 2) I don't drink any more.

 

[bstone]

Thank you all for your replies. I am sorry to hear about your misfortune ms. moderator, some people have no respect for others. what can you do.
I feel that the advice that appears the most sound and possibly will work is definitely Scrappy's.
With lines like that, you can't lose.
I mean, "I think I just shit my pants" that would make most women melt in their panties....

Thank you Scrappy!

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

bstone...where you lift in florida?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Approach her with an olympic bar and thrust it into her face. When she begins to roll back and forth crying, pour gasoline on her and light her on fire. Then go outside and do a rain dance.

Smoke the peace pipe before you go to channel the power of the majestic salmon into your body and soul.

For only the salmon holds the rotting uterus.

 

[Bikini Mod]

If a guy walked up to me in the gym and did what Brotha HScrappy advised....I would definitely give the guy a shot! (Well, the flacid penis thing would be a bit much. Perhaps I am being a bit too sensitive these days, but I would take that as being an overbearing jerk - but like I said, that may just be me). The I just shit my pants thing....THAT IS SOME FUNNY SHIT! Even if the guy was an ugly little troll (not that I am all that) I would STILL talk to him. Why? Because I ADMIRE and RESPECT a guy who has balls!...and if you have a twisted sense of humor too?...then you are definitely going to get my attention.

 

[loutocool]

Hey bro just go up and talk to her, once u get to know her you'll be in. It's that simple!

 

[bstone]

bstone...where you lift in florida?

Golds o' PH...you?

 

[HappyScrappy]

the whole "I just shit my pants" and stuff all started as a drunken thing between friends. then finally I was just like "watch this" and then did that to show up my friends.
it actually gets some pretty funny reactions.

the secret to really making it not work is not shutting up about it. trust me.

 

[bstone]

a summary

I have received SO MANY wonderful replies that I figured I should do a combination of all of them, out of respect for you all. SO here is what I came up with...
I will walk up to her, with an olympic bar in my hand, and say hello. In the midst of conversation I will thrust the olympic bar into her face and then lay her down on a bench, as I ask her if she needs a spot. Then I will teabag her! I am sure taht this will not work so I will get up and do a rain dance that also includes a line about her being a cock tease and then I will call her over to me and whisper to her that I just shit my pants. Then I'll ask her if I can buy her a bottled water.
Sound like plan?

 

[HappyScrappy]

you learn fast!

you could also try sticking the bar in rude places.

seriously, the best way to talk to her is after/outside of the gym.
most people when in the gym just want to get their work done and don't want to be interrupted.
even if a hot girl came up to me in the gym and wanted to talk, I'd still be thinking about how I needed to get back to my workout.
even worse on the cardio equip.

but outside in the parking lot, or in the lobby or whatever, just say hi, see how she reacts and then go from there.

"hey baby, want to dance?"
"fuck off loser"
"what?! oh, I'm sorry, I think you must have misheard me - I was just saying you look fat in those pants."

 

[THeMaCHinE]

You forgot to light her on fire. I'd suggest kerosene over lighter fluid though. Lighter fluid is so 80s.

 

[bstone]

ARE YOU CRAZY!!?

You forgot to light her on fire. I'd suggest kerosene over lighter fluid though. Lighter fluid is so 80s.

You never light a woman on fire until after the first date! Geez!

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Re: ARE YOU CRAZY!!?

You never light a woman on fire until after the first date! Geez!

Yeah, I have been known to have premature immolation.

 

[velvett]

Thank you all for your replies. I am sorry to hear about your misfortune ms. moderator, some people have no respect for others. what can you do.

Just call me Velllllllllllvett...


lick your lips and whisper as you do so.

 

[bstone]

Just call me Velllllllllllvett...


lick your lips and whisper as you do so.

Ok Velvet it is. By the way, should I whisper that I just shit my pants after I have licked my lips?

 

[velvett]

HAHHAAAHAHAAAAH!

 

[madbomber31]

stand up and start singing "simply irresistable" by robert palmer... that should do it.

 

[bstone]

stand up and start singing "simply irresistable" by robert palmer... that should do it.

LOL, if I did that sh!t half of the gay guys in the gym would ask me out on a date! Not the desired effect.

 

[Jimsbbc]

not for anything in the world

 

[bstone]

not for anything in the world

And just what was that supposed to mean big boy!?? Are you saying that you wouldn't ever ask me out on a date? JImmy NO!! Don't do this to me! First you show me this sexy picture of yourself and now this!!! Now that's gratitude for ya!

 

[Slice of Peach2]

Hey bro just go up and talk to her, once u get to know her you'll be in. It's that simple!

This is great advice!!!!

Just be yourself, be sweet.

 

[Jimsbbc]

I will not get shot down. period. No offense to all you lovely females.

 

[bstone]

I will not get shot down. period. No offense to all you lovely females.

Ya lost me on the shot down part.

 

[Jimsbbc]

I was just saying I am not likely to initiate conversation unless they make it painfully obvious they want me. I will not make an ass out of myself for anyone (again). There have been exceptions though

 

[bstone]

I was just saying I am not likely to initiate conversation unless they make it painfully obvious they want me. I will not make an ass out of myself for anyone (again). There have been exceptions though

AHHH GOTCHA!! so...does this mean that we can go out now? LMAO Just kidding for all of those who have missed the first post!

I hear ya on that. I feel like that most of thetime and then there is always this voice in the back of my mind that says, "Son, do you know how much more ass you could have had in your life if you would have only opened your damn mouth!" Seriously, you don't know how many times in my past I had a crush on someone but was too afraid to say anything, only to find out later that she liked me too! Damn that sucks. Sometimes pride can cost ya bubba...know what I mean.
Why can't my pride just say fu@k it! and let me make a fool of myself sometimes??? You know, like those dorky bastards who alway sseem to have fine looking ladies because they had nothing to lose and opened their mouth. Oh yeah, their Porsche generally helps too. LOL