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Homer Speaks

kunta said:
"ooohhh are you gonna get the dogs, or the bee's, or the dogs with bee's in their mouth and when they bark they sting you"

Oh yeah that should say ". . . and when they bark they SHOOT BEES AT you"

s'all good. . .
 
"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

:p
 
THE BEST THREAD EVER!!

"Nooo, don't eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!"
 
Homer: "Bring me a beer, Bart."

Marge: "Just a minute, Homer. Lisa has some good news."

Lisa: "Forget it, Mom. He doesn't care."

Homer: "Sure I do, honey! I just wanna have a beer while I'm caring!"
 
The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else...[
 
I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
Bart: Like, sometimes, you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad, so other kids will like you better?
Homer: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?
Bart: No.
Homer: Are you!
Bart: No!
Homer: Then run along, you little scamp!
 
If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!
Marge: Good!
 
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