Homer Speaks

[2Thick]

Homer: "Doh! A twenty-dollar bill. I wanted a peanut."
Homer's brain: "Twenty dollars can buy lots of peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how."
Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."

 

[2Thick]

TV: "…and the winning lottery numbers are 17-34-24-38- and 17."
Homer: "DOH!"
Grandpa: "I knew we wouldn't win.."
Homer: "Well why did you keep it to yourself!! Why did you have to spoil it for the rest of us!
Homer: (points at Bart)"If you were 17 we would have won! But Noooooo…..you had to be 10!"

 

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Monty Burns: "Homer I am sure you are aware of the state usury laws, right?"
Homer: "us..ur..y?"
Monty Burns: "OH! Silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist!'

 

[2Thick]

Homer: "Lisa, you're as cute as a button!"
Lisa: "Your just saying that because that's what parents are supposed to say about their kids."
Homer: "Dad, am I as cute as a button?"
Grandpa: "No! You're as homey as a mule's butt!"
Homer: "See?"

 

[2Thick]

Marge: "Oh, be careful. Remember, leaves of three let it be.."
Homer: "Heh, heh, leaves of four, eat some more!"

 

[2Thick]

Marge: (as Homer is throwing old junk away) "Homer that was our wedding photo."
Homer: "Marge, quit living in the past."

 

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Homer: (to Grandpa) "Shut up or we'll put you in a home."
Grandpa: "You already put me in a home!"
Homer: "Then we'll put you in that crooked home we saw on 60 minutes."
Grandpa: "I'll be good."

 

[2Thick]

Marge: "I'm thinking in enrolling in the Springfield academy of art."
Homer: "Do I have to do anything?"
Marge: "No."
Homer: "Great, fine, go crazy."

 

[2Thick]

Social Worker: "Okay Mr. Simpson, what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?"
Homer's Brain: "Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge."
Homer: "uhh, revenge."
Homer's Brain: "That's it! I'm outta here!"

 

[2Thick]

Marge: "And this is for my huggy-bug, in honor of this special day."
Homer's Brain: "Special day? Oh, what have I forgot now? Okay, don't panic, is it bacon day? No, that's crazy-talk. Uh-oh, she's growing impatient, take a stab at it."
Homer: "Happy…Valentines Day!"
Marge: "Aww, thank you dear."
Homer: "Woohoo!"