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Guy hitting on my wife...

beastboy

New member
My wife wants me to go out with a bunch of people from her work, but I know there is this guy that will be going that is constantly hitting on her....I don't know how to act.....? I don't want to come off as the jealous husband (which I'm not), but at the same time I want this guy to know that I'm not going to be all chummy with him, and I don't appreciate his actions when he knows she is married.......any suggestions?
 
Just ask him how he would feel if he were married and someone was hitting on his wife the way he is on yours. Try to get him to see things from your perspective. Don't get angry or condescending which would lead to a confrontational attitude which blocks your point from getting across to this person.
 
you could just accept the fact that your wife is attractive enough for other men to hit on... she's with you and you obviously trust her... don't let it get to you. Now if he does it in front of you then that is a different story.
 
Peyote Killa said:
At the first sight of him making a flirtatios move on your wife, deck him!

lol....got a mental pic of this guy coming up, saying hi and promptly getting layed out :)
 
There is a fine line between flirting and social interaction 'tween the sexes!

If she is outgoing and freindly to ALL people, then she will attract many men/women in her life. You have to be strong enough to know she loves you and won't do anything to hurt you.

Now, if this co-worker is the type who is the touchy , feely kind...SHE NEEDS TO TELL THE JERK SHE IS UN-COMFORTABLE! Have her go to the H/R department in her office if this is the case!

If that does not work then YOU need to step in and REMIND him how to treat a lady.
 
Days of the Tantric said:
......when my wife and I were dating and it embarrased the hell out of her.

This is what you want to avoid doing.

I was speaking from experience as well. LOL!!!
 
saint808 said:
you could just accept the fact that your wife is attractive enough for other men to hit on... she's with you and you obviously trust her... don't let it get to you. Now if he does it in front of you then that is a different story.

good advice!
 
My wife is the outgoing type, but I totally trust her and know she does not try to get this type of attention. I do want to stay calm, and I know harmless flirting is usually innocent, but it is just something about this guy that I don't like. I feel like he is flirting just to spite me.....but my wife is completely naïve to it all and feels it is harmless. I mean I've had other guys flirt with her which were mutual friends of ours and it doesn't bother me at all...am I setting a double standard?

The last think I want to do is blow and embarass my wife and myself, if it isn't justified.....
 
beastboy said:
My wife is the outgoing type, but I totally trust her and know she does not try to get this type of attention. I do want to stay calm, and I know harmless flirting is usually innocent, but it is just something about this guy that I don't like. I feel like he is flirting just to spite me.....but my wife is completely naïve to it all and feels it is harmless. I mean I've had other guys flirt with her which were mutual friends of ours and it doesn't bother me at all...am I setting a double standard?

My girlfriend is the same way...... I understand that she is very attractive and wherever we go guys stare......... and she would probably react like your wife is..... completely naive to it. I think Vixen's advice is best........ SHE needs to put him in his place......
 
break his jaw......its very hard to flirt when your jaw is wired shut
 
...I feel that he will get the picture much easier if the subtle message comes from the wifey....
 
Fill in the blanks on how you know he hits on her, to what degree he hits on her, etc. Has he done it in front of you? Has your girl told you in the past? What makes you come to the conclusion that he is constantly hitting on her and acting in an appropriate matter?
 
Deliver a Message

If you are right that he may be doing this to spite you then I only have a few conclusions I can draw:

- He thinks your a pussy :baby2:

- He's sure your a weenie :bright:

- He feels that, given the right timing, he'll be fucking you wife in the near future :horny:

Now, let's assess the situation:

- Is he a little pussy?

- Is he the "sensitive little boy" type?

If he matches the above criteria then you may want to worry, most affairs begin (on the womens side) with somebody that's "differen't".. For example, if your a pussy she'll want a man.. If your a typical elite body builder she'll want a pussy..etc..etc..etc...

Send him a message: :finger:

- Take him aside and ask him what the fuck his problem is.

- Make sure he understands this is the only warning, next time you'll beat his ass in.

- Make sure he knows WHO is the man :splat:

Just some friendly advice since I've fucked way too many married women (I don't do this anymore) since I was 16 - It's not that hard to manipulate them...
 
Just be natural. Remember that your wife shoulders some responsibility in putting an end to his flirtations. And as long as it's just flirting, what's the harm?
 
The point at which one person in the relationship becomes uncomfortable is the point at which something has to change.
 
Re: Deliver a Message

PlateheadJim said:
If you are right that he may be doing this to spite you then I only have a few conclusions I can draw:

- He thinks your a pussy :baby2:

- He's sure your a weenie :bright:

- He feels that, given the right timing, he'll be fucking you wife in the near future :horny:

Now, let's assess the situation:

- Is he a little pussy?

- Is he the "sensitive little boy" type?

If he matches the above criteria then you may want to worry, most affairs begin (on the womens side) with somebody that's "differen't".. For example, if your a pussy she'll want a man.. If your a typical elite body builder she'll want a pussy..etc..etc..etc...

Send him a message: :finger:

- Take him aside and ask him what the fuck his problem is.

- Make sure he understands this is the only warning, next time you'll beat his ass in.

- Make sure he knows WHO is the man :splat:

Just some friendly advice since I've fucked way too many married women (I don't do this anymore) since I was 16 - It's not that hard to manipulate them...

There is some wisdom here. Oftentimes, people become set in their ways in marriage, and as a result, certain needs become unmet. When somebody starts meeting these needs (even as simple as complimenting their hair, being courteous, etc.) it feels good to the person with unmet needs. And because that person enjoys the attention, they will tend to deny that there is anything out of whack with the person they are getting the extra attention from. After all, this person is new, mysterious, doesn't talk about bills, doesn't demand you do laundry, etc... Time spent with this person is just fun -- there's no work. And oftentimes these relationships that begin in fun end up in bed and romance (albeit a romance based on fantasy, not reality).
 
Yep.. Good Point

Originally posted by THeMaCHinE

After all, this person is new, mysterious, doesn't talk about bills, doesn't demand you do laundry, etc... Time spent with this person is just fun -- there's no work. And oftentimes these relationships that begin in fun end up in bed and romance (albeit a romance based on fantasy, not reality).


Indeed this is so true, I would always sell the fantasy vs reality. When I wanted a bitch (married that is) I would learn about her husband and take on a opposite role.. Sometimes I would kiss her ass, tell her how beautiful she is and how she makes my horny, etc.. Or other times I would be a distant prick, bluntly hitting on her and making sure she knew I was an asshole (if her husband was a wimp)..

Women buy into fantasies and turn them into excuses for a side bang.. Just watch all those fucking women channels or read a harliquin - it's most revealing.. The general plot outline of these books or womens movies is:

Woman married to mean or distant man (usually a tough guy too)

Woman meets a nice sensitive boy

Nice sensitive boy continues to talk with her and complements her on her shoes

She decides to fuck nice sensitive boy, she's always in control (at least in womens books/movies)

This is how a lot of women think.. The believe affairs are really not their fault and no matter what the husband is to blame.. Sad really..
 
Re: Re: Deliver a Message

THeMaCHinE said:


There is some wisdom here. Oftentimes, people become set in their ways in marriage, and as a result, certain needs become unmet. When somebody starts meeting these needs (even as simple as complimenting their hair, being courteous, etc.) it feels good to the person with unmet needs. And because that person enjoys the attention, they will tend to deny that there is anything out of whack with the person they are getting the extra attention from. After all, this person is new, mysterious, doesn't talk about bills, doesn't demand you do laundry, etc... Time spent with this person is just fun -- there's no work. And oftentimes these relationships that begin in fun end up in bed and romance (albeit a romance based on fantasy, not reality).

*clap clap* the number one reason people end up cheating is stated above.
 
Thanks for all the advice.......

I think I'm going to ask my wife to say something to him, and then if he continues I will confront him in a polite manner...if it persists I just may have to take Peyote Killa's advice......
 
This thread is depressing and confusing. So what ya'll are you saying is that there are some pricks out there that make a game out of picking up married women. So not only does a man have to be rough and tough and the bread winner. We got to be a pussy type guy too? Sheesh....

I just hope some dude ever try that crap on my wife. Because my wife is good in bed but I am not sure it is so good that it is going be worth getting a lesson from my Glock 9mm.
 
Yep

Originally posted by curling
This thread is depressing and confusing. So what ya'll are you saying is that there are some pricks out there that make a game out of picking up married women. So not only does a man have to be rough and tough and the bread winner. We got to be a pussy type guy too? Sheesh....


That's right, when I was young it was a game - not hard either. I would say that with single girls my success rate was 30-50%, married women though.. About 75%!

The bottom line though is these women had a choice and only played dumb and let me manipulate them.. Most women aren't that dumb and if they have any integrity the won't let somebody play them. However, there where a few dumb ones that I had blowing me within 60 minutes of talking to them.. Go figure!
 
Platehead,

It sounds like you don't do that any more. But just curious were you ever shot at, been hit, or your house blown up?
 
Just punch a hole in his chest. Hopefully through this hole he will see the err of his ways.......

I'd put up with that shit for about 5 seconds............
 
curling said:
Platehead,

It sounds like you don't do that any more. But just curious were you ever shot at, been hit, or your house blown up?

I'm sorry, but I agree with curling.....one of the above would definately been done if I had found you out....but I am glad you changed your ways.....
 
I'd listen to Platehead - he's absolutely right on this one.

I know tons of guys that do stuff like this, they do it for fun, bragging rights, etc., but none of them would actually risk harm to do it. and most of them take the least-resistance path - if there's a hint of trouble, they back off, because there's easier prey out there.

if it were me, I'd ignore all the new-age, lets-discuss-and-understand bullshit, pull the guy aside, and tell him in no uncertain terms that he had better enjoy flirting a lot because he will be paying a high price to continue doing it. and nothing else. no justifying, no explaining, no handshaking or forgiveness. just stare the guy down until he walks away. I normally wouldn't encourage this type of confrontation, but this is a special circumstance - he is playing on your (assumed) weakness, and there's a lot at stake.

JMHO, of course. best of luck.
 
Prometheus,

I liked your idea. I think that would be very effective and it would probably be even more effective if you had a glock in a side holster under your coat that just happened to show while you said what you said. :D

He'd be thinking "man that dude is crazy forget her no chick is worth my life."
 
Occasionally dangerous..

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by curling
Platehead,

It sounds like you don't do that any more. But just curious were you ever shot at, been hit, or your house blown up?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Had somebody blow my back window out after I escaped out the back door and took off in my car...

Had some death threats..

Had one particular bitch use me to get back at her husband.. Of course that meant she told him - the fucker was about 6'7 and played Defensive End for the UA", chased me down on the campus and came running to my car (I was in it).. When the dumb ass was close enough I opened it as hard as possible, clipped his legs than jumped on him and beat him into submission.. Never heard from again (thank god)..

But,overall, those where exceptions as Prometheus said if there's a hint of trouble, I'd back off, because there's easier prey out there....
 
Go with her to the function. Let the flirtations happen one more time, so it will be a fresh incident and everyone knows that you are aware of the situation. Pull him AND her aside seperately while at the event and let them know in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate that behavior.

I believe she can control a lot of it. If she let's him know she doesn't like it, it will stop. If she won't tell him that then you've got a bigger problem.
 
www.shomer-tec.com Click on it, then order the spray that will make his clothes smell like a goats ass. Fits in your palm, very discreet and works wonders...no one will want to be around him.

For extra fun, add the yelloe teeth stain to his drink....ask him to dance with your wife, then a few drops in his drink....5 minutes later, his teeth will look like piss-holes in a snow bank....it only lasts for a few hours...but tis enough....alot of other goodies there too...

As a bouncer in clubs....some of this stuff has avoided a few fights....<wink>

Ranger
 
The Ranger said:
www.shomer-tec.com Click on it, then order the spray that will make his clothes smell like a goats ass. Fits in your palm, very discreet and works wonders...no one will want to be around him.

For extra fun, add the yelloe teeth stain to his drink....ask him to dance with your wife, then a few drops in his drink....5 minutes later, his teeth will look like piss-holes in a snow bank....it only lasts for a few hours...but tis enough....alot of other goodies there too...

As a bouncer in clubs....some of this stuff has avoided a few fights....<wink>

Ranger

damn thats some funny as shit! Im going to buy some of this shit cause I have this prob alot also.
 
I wouldn't waste time trying to get him to see your side. He already knows she is married. When he does anything, point straight at him and tell him to knock it off. If hes says a word, tell him to watch the bullshit.
 
beastboy said:
Thanks for all the advice.......

I think I'm going to ask my wife to say something to him, and then if he continues I will confront him in a polite manner...if it persists I just may have to take Peyote Killa's advice......


That is the best thing to do. My girl would get hit on and she would straight up tell them to their face that they had zero chance whatever. That always shot em down hard and they would figure it out pretty fast that she was committed to me.
 
make an example...

let your wife introduce you to him. let him hit on her for a couple hours and then when its obvious he feels he can disrespect you and has a chance of fucking your wife, and everyone else there sees what has been going on, break a bottle across his face and kick him until he stops moving.

he isnt important. whats important is that every other guy sees this guy hitting on your wife and thinks you are a pussy. not after that though.

i saw suge knight on howard stern talking about how j-lo was his girlfriend, nobody would be stealing her from him.

and its not because he is good looking.
 
I agree with all the physically violent people.

I'd pull him to the side and tell him like this: "Hey man I noticed you have taken a liking to my wife, one that her and myself don't feel to comfortable with." "This is your one and only warning stay away from my wife or I'll break your fucking arms and legs!"

Then I'd lightly pat him on the shoulders and give a fake smile and walk away. This works better if you look like me.
 
beastboy said:
My wife wants me to go out with a bunch of people from her work, but I know there is this guy that will be going that is constantly hitting on her....I don't know how to act.....? I don't want to come off as the jealous husband (which I'm not), but at the same time I want this guy to know that I'm not going to be all chummy with him, and I don't appreciate his actions when he knows she is married.......any suggestions?


beat his ass
 
The best way to handle it is to wait for him to go to the bathroom......... then follow him in..... when he is taking a piss... just stand there and ask him this......... "Hey bro... what would you do if you were married and someone was hitting on your wife" ??? That will stop his piss midstream........... Then whatever he says you simply pull out a buck knife and start using it to mess with your fingernails....... and look the fucker in the eye and say to him all friendly........ "My wife and I love each other more than anything on this earth...... If I ever found out someone was hitting on her I would have to hurt the guy really bad........." Then close the knife and walk out of the bathroom............ After the guy gets done shitting his pants.... he will probably leave the party.............. and leave your wife alone................
 
This happened to me (it kind of long hang in there)

I know what you are going through Bro, as this happened to me.

About 2 years ago, we were having a x-mas party at our house and my wife's (single) best friend invited these two (single) guys she worked with, to the party, one of whom she wanted to hook up with. I guess the guys figured that friends share, and the buddy had a chance at hooking up with my wife since we were going through a rough time at the moment ... blah, blah, blah. I am normally a pretty easy going guy, which can be seen as weak, but I saw what he was doing, although my wife didn't think he was doing anything wrong as she didn't say anything to him about it. and remember this is all going on in my own house. well I saw them talking in the formal living room with no one else around. I walked up to them and made some small talk like I was just another partier there drinking up the booze and said, Hey, this is a really kickin' party, you guys having a good time? blah blah blah... they said yea this is a killer party... some really hot women here.... and I said yea espeically that red head in the black dress... and they said holy shit man she is smokin blah blah blah (the whole time I about to break a blood vessel.... 10 years as a Marine Drill Instructor did nothing to ease the rage factor then mix in gear.... shake liberally and stand back) well I then said.... that hot piece of ass is actually my wife...and you are in my house, so we can handle this two ways.... you can tell everyone that you going to call it an early night and go somewhere else under your own power, or you can leave with my help but one way or the other you are done for the night the only choice is either with or without pain. They immediately said hey were sorry they didn't mean to be disrepectful blah blah blah... and they would leave. I said and one more thing..... If I ever catch or even hear of you getting near her again.... I am going to do to you what you want to do to her .... are we clear... and they said yea no problem. Haven't seen or heard from them since.... and my wife was cool about it, I think after 10 years of marriage she wanted to see if I thought she was worth the effort or would I just "take it".

Much like in the wild....... there is one lion in the pride and he gets all the play... until another one thinks he can kick his ass and take it away.... the one left at the end wins. Fuck all that new age mamby pamby bullshit most guys understand one thing real clear. period.
 
Re: This happened to me (it kind of long hang in there)

max muscle121 said:
and my wife was cool about it, I think after 10 years of marriage she wanted to see if I thought she was worth the effort or would I just "take it".


I wonder how far she was willing to go to see if it was worth the effort.
 
I doubt that far actually, as she has seen me while I was in the Marines and knows what I can do/have done hand to hand if I snap. I think it was just the attention and to see if she was worth getting jealous over..... women like to know and feel that they are desireable and have someone that wants them enough to defend that claim. (ie they are really screwed up in the head
;-) ) I really am not the jealous type and don't think I was at this point either... but there are some flirting that is harmless... and some that goes to fair and needs to be addressed.

If it was a girlfriend... I would tell him... go for it... and if she plays ball with him... kick her to the curb with him. A wife is a little different. (temp. insanity would be my defense.)
 
Unless the guy was saying REALLY LUDE/RUDE stuff, what is the harm? Consider it a compliment. I actually found it/find it to be arousing when another woman finds my man attractive enough to flirt... ESPECIALLY if the female KNOWS that I am with him... hehehehehehheheeee

The way I look at it, he is WITH ME and no other woman can replace me. If, however, my guy (husband, whatever) DOES find another female to be so appealing that he would actually DO SOMETHING other than laugh a bit and smile, then she can HAVE HIM because he is not good enough FOR ME.

I am a firm believer in free will. Both parties involved know what is going on. I never EVER want a guy to be with me because they feel obligated. I want it to be because he knows what a good thing he has in me and that to mess with that would surely be to his deteriment..... NOT MINE.
 
Re: This happened to me (it kind of long hang in there)

max muscle121 said:
that hot piece of ass is actually my wife...and you are in my house, so we can handle this two ways.... you can tell everyone that you going to call it an early night and go somewhere else under your own power, or you can leave with my help but one way or the other you are done for the night the only choice is either with or without pain.

I love the way you handled this. Perfect.
 
the way I see it, if you have a gf, she is yours and no guy can ever speak to her in an unprofessional manner and if he does, he's asking to be hurt by you.
 
I agree whole heartedly Bikini Mom! I have many people say things like "I don't want to offend or make you mad... but your wife is really beautiful" or better yet hows this one: "How did a guy like you ever hook a woman like that... there is hope for us all" (my usual reply to that last one is liberal amounts of tequila!!)

To those it makes me feel good and I take them as a compliment... but you have to admit... the is a difference between flirting comments that are truely harmless.... and being down right disrepectful.... if I were at your house and the same scene happed I would have just gathered up the wife and left.....your house your rules..... but in my house.... my rules... and rule #1 is don't be disrepectful to my family. (o.k. that is rule number 2... rule number one is clothing is optional in the jacuzzi) ;-)
 
I have never gotten worked up over a girlfriend... gf's are a dime a dozen... or maybe I just never took gf's seriously enough not to give time up if they wanted to go. Hell in that same case... I told my wife if she didn't WANT to be with me.... there is nothing between her and the door but air and opportunity and I'll suck up the air for her, get the fuck out. But she and I made a committment (which I don't care what anyone says or think IMO boyfriend/girlfriend/engaged is not the same a married) and where I do trust her.... I don't trust anyone else with ANYTHING I feel that is important to me.... Think about it like this... would you leave $5,000.00 laying on a table in a room full of strangers and walk away? No, you wouldn't and you would kill anyone you caught missing with it. Then is the five grand more important than your family, if not then why wouldn't you protect that also, if someone is SERIOUSLY making you feel uncomfortable about a situation?
 
max muscle121 said:
I agree whole heartedly Bikini Mom! I have many people say things like "I don't want to offend or make you mad... but your wife is really beautiful" or better yet hows this one: "How did a guy like you ever hook a woman like that... there is hope for us all" (my usual reply to that last one is liberal amounts of tequila!!)

To those it makes me feel good and I take them as a compliment... but you have to admit... the is a difference between flirting comments that are truely harmless.... and being down right disrepectful.... if I were at your house and the same scene happed I would have just gathered up the wife and left.....your house your rules..... but in my house.... my rules... and rule #1 is don't be disrepectful to my family. (o.k. that is rule number 2... rule number one is clothing is optional in the jacuzzi) ;-)

I am sorry, I admit that I didn't read the entired thread and YES - to come on to a guy's wife in THEIR OWN HOME IS DOWNRIGHT BEYOND DISRESPECTFUL! (I still think it's kind of funny though... heheheheee I mean, what was the guy thinking? That your wife would take his hand and lead him into your bedroom to fuck his brains out?! :rolleyes: How could ANYONE be that stupid?! Ah well, I guess it takes all kinds!)
 
max muscle121 said:
I have never gotten worked up over a girlfriend... gf's are a dime a dozen... or maybe I just never took gf's seriously enough not to give time up if they wanted to go. Hell in that same case... I told my wife if she didn't WANT to be with me.... there is nothing between her and the door but air and opportunity and I'll suck up the air for her, get the fuck out. But she and I made a committment (which I don't care what anyone says or think IMO boyfriend/girlfriend/engaged is not the same a married) and where I do trust her.... I don't trust anyone else with ANYTHING I feel that is important to me.... Think about it like this... would you leave $5,000.00 laying on a table in a room full of strangers and walk away? No, you wouldn't and you would kill anyone you caught missing with it. Then is the five grand more important than your family, if not then why wouldn't you protect that also, if someone is SERIOUSLY making you feel uncomfortable about a situation?

Gotta say that I agree with EVERYTHING you said.
 
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