Got married, gained 15lbs, no motivation for the gym

[str8cubano]

got married in june, took time off (2 months, which is the longest time off I have ever taken in like 8 years) and I need motivation to get back to the gym. I want to loose excess weight, but after living the married life, I see myself wanting to get home from work, draft out a little beer from my Heiniken Keg can and say fuck it. I don't know how many bros have gone through this, but I feel like shit. Yes eating and drinking everyday is nice and all, but I feel physically and mentally like shit. I guess I need a few bros to flame me to get my fat ass back to the gym and regain my chin

 

[RADAR]

Long time no see old friend, got any peak workout pics if so drag em out.
Remember muscle menory is an amazing thing , in no time you will start seeing results,that's enough motavation right there.


RADAR

 

[DJ_UFO]

I've been there....I think once you find somebody to love or to stay stable, has a very strong psychological effect; is like "I was preparing for this, now that I have what I was looking for, I can stop and relax" So many things change in your daily life that you give the least priority to the gym. It has happened to me.

Now I'm in a different boat; I am getting divorced after 6 years of marriage and I've been very low in motivation to go to the gym; but in this case is because I need to sell this friggin house fast (nobody is interested), process the divorce fast, and strat a new life; the current situation is killing me.

Try to motivate your wife to go with you man...probably that will help with motivation. Anyhow, once you catch the rythm, everything comes back to normal; is just that initial jump to force yourself into the routine.

 

[kangle]

I feel ya dude..not married but i go through stages...to keep on track try using some supplements for motivation..preworkout stuff to get you pumped for the gym. I also keep pics of the greats hanging around and think to myself "im gonna kick their asses".

 

[thebadguy54]

No words, just this:
http://blog.pairwise.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/arnold-schwarzenegger-big.jpg

Now, get to work.

 

[kangle]

hell yea thebadguy54..

 

[nemesis 2027]

That is exactly what happened to me in the 80's when I got married.. Since that time 27 years ago to be exact, 2 kids, big dog, 10 hour plus a day job, and all the responsible trimmings that go with it, I can honestly say I relate bro..

I've gained 60 lbs since that fateful day back then, (I was 19 however) and not all of it is excess, but I's say a good 12 plus lbs could be stripped in time, but my point is that you'll get your motivation back. I have gone through many motivation 'cycles' (non a.a.s) with this final one being the best since my late teens. Sort of a positive mid-life crisis for lack of a better term.

I hope you get your motivation back before 27 years, but I have improved mine even more by setting very realistic goals for myself. I realized that (going way back in time now) once I'd married, and my 'dreams' of being like the guys in the magazines were dashed, I think I just drifted with no goals, etc.. Always worked out, but no fire burning. This year I turned 46 and realized that I wanted to feel as close to the excitement I felt in my teens as I could, so I turned my old dreams into more realistic goals.

It's hard to explain, and may only be my gig, but I just am working to be the best that I can be with what I have, and not trying to be someone I could never be. I begrudgingly (long story) bought a tiny Ipod music player and downloaded the different types of music that aided my moods for how I want to lift in any given day, and also picked some music from my teens that I recall having great workouts listening to at the time. The first few weeks were hell, and I almost backed off, but then I started noticing some changes that felt similar to how I felt back in my teens. It's not the same, and I'm not re-living the past, just adding some old tools to go forward.

I am not making this an 'all about me' but rather letting you know you have to find that feeling, motivation, reason, whatever, and make it very important and a priority to you. If you can do that, and stay committed, you'll be back in no time.. After 27 years of marriage I can honestly say I've felt a lot of "lack of motivation" at times. It happens to most I should think.

Good luck, and just do it bro!

 

[Gorilla65]

bro you kow what you need to do, just get up and go

 

[kangle]

Music too!! i always get pumped listening to my favorite tunes..if your like me and have your own gym at home you can use any cd/tape player..if you jog outside/go to a gym i'd invest in an ipod..

 

[captainahole]

I know exactly what your saying. Both my wife and I have been so wrapped up in our business exercise was the least important. But last year my wife decided to loose some weight and has done great. Well after one of the guys I deal with said your getting a budda belly that did it for me.
Been hammering it back at the gym since. My wife loves it. I told her that I didn't want to be like everyone else in their late 40's early 50's that I wanted to be the hot husband again. It's done amazing things for our sex life again, I feel like I'm in my 20's again would screw a knot hole in the wall if I found one.

That is exactly what happened to me in the 80's when I got married.. Since that time 27 years ago to be exact, 2 kids, big dog, 10 hour plus a day job, and all the responsible trimmings that go with it, I can honestly say I relate bro..

I've gained 60 lbs since that fateful day back then, (I was 19 however) and not all of it is excess, but I's say a good 12 plus lbs could be stripped in time, but my point is that you'll get your motivation back. I have gone through many motivation 'cycles' (non a.a.s) with this final one being the best since my late teens. Sort of a positive mid-life crisis for lack of a better term.

I hope you get your motivation back before 27 years, but I have improved mine even more by setting very realistic goals for myself. I realized that (going way back in time now) once I'd married, and my 'dreams' of being like the guys in the magazines were dashed, I think I just drifted with no goals, etc.. Always worked out, but no fire burning. This year I turned 46 and realized that I wanted to feel as close to the excitement I felt in my teens as I could, so I turned my old dreams into more realistic goals.

It's hard to explain, and may only be my gig, but I just am working to be the best that I can be with what I have, and not trying to be someone I could never be. I begrudgingly (long story) bought a tiny Ipod music player and downloaded the different types of music that aided my moods for how I want to lift in any given day, and also picked some music from my teens that I recall having great workouts listening to at the time. The first few weeks were hell, and I almost backed off, but then I started noticing some changes that felt similar to how I felt back in my teens. It's not the same, and I'm not re-living the past, just adding some old tools to go forward.

I am not making this an 'all about me' but rather letting you know you have to find that feeling, motivation, reason, whatever, and make it very important and a priority to you. If you can do that, and stay committed, you'll be back in no time.. After 27 years of marriage I can honestly say I've felt a lot of "lack of motivation" at times. It happens to most I should think.

Good luck, and just do it bro!

 

[needtogetaas]

Long time no see old friend, got any peak workout pics if so drag em out.
Remember muscle menory is an amazing thing , in no time you will start seeing results,that's enough motavation right there.


RADAR

yup and we all know how much better we feel once we start getting back into the swing of things...first few weeks of getting back always sucks but after that its great.

 

[gotmilk]

a little enanthate will get your ass moving

 

[str8cubano]

Good seeing you too RADAR. Thanks for advice bros. Its pretty much just get the fuck back and do it. I have been hitting it, but on and off. Maybe one week I went twice, the next week I went once, then I went a week after that and got sick...so its been a bad rythem, but once it starts, it should stay. What sucks is that I know deep down inside eventually things will happen to totally take me off track. If its bad now, it'll be worst when I have kids. I just have to accept the fact that we have to go to the gym( as a modern society) because our jobs aren't what they used to be, and if we don't go to the gym, we will all be unhealthy and look like shit. Its just one of those things that have to be done. Anyways, thanks for advice again

 

[RADAR]

Good seeing you too RADAR. Thanks for advice bros. Its pretty much just get the fuck back and do it. I have been hitting it, but on and off. Maybe one week I went twice, the next week I went once, then I went a week after that and got sick...so its been a bad rythem, but once it starts, it should stay. What sucks is that I know deep down inside eventually things will happen to totally take me off track. If its bad now, it'll be worst when I have kids. I just have to accept the fact that we have to go to the gym( as a modern society) because our jobs aren't what they used to be, and if we don't go to the gym, we will all be unhealthy and look like shit. Its just one of those things that have to be done. Anyways, thanks for advice again

no, no ,no , no.....do like i did, you look in the classifieds find a gym going out of business and work up a deal , or find one of those
'play it again sports" store, its not hard to plan a basic gym at home and then you can commit as little as 15 minutes a day,,,,,,,

we are all born with the same amount of time, how we use it is up to us.

RADAR

 

[nemesis 2027]

no, no ,no , no.....do like i did, you look in the classifieds find a gym going out of business and work up a deal , or find one of those
'play it again sports" store, its not hard to plan a basic gym at home and then you can commit as little as 15 minutes a day,,,,,,,

we are all born with the same amount of time, how we use it is up to us.

RADAR

Maybe bro, but after decades of trying the home motivation thing, it never worked out for me. There is always some sort of distraction, the thought process of "I've got the equip here so I'll do it later", and no real atmosphere, etc.. Not dissing your idea, but just saying I've been down that road, and being married, eventually having kids, home, 'honey do list', human laziness, etc.. You really need to get away from home and be with homies doing the same.. If it worked for you, then you are a truly diciplined bro, but most of us deep into work and home stresses just can't make it where you live. Need to get to an external 'iron sanctuary' and pray to the iron gods..

str8cubano needs to run the course of his slump, and start anew with the internal motivation to get out just for him. He has started a new life in marriage, and just needs to adjust to new things.. If it's in him, he'll come around. We all do eventually. I did it long before any boards or availablity to any internet communication, support by bros, like the ones here, and with this new way of communicating, we'll get him back in the gym if he wants too!

 

[jaybois]

got married in june, took time off (2 months, which is the longest time off I have ever taken in like 8 years) and I need motivation to get back to the gym. I want to loose excess weight, but after living the married life, I see myself wanting to get home from work, draft out a little beer from my Heiniken Keg can and say fuck it. I don't know how many bros have gone through this, but I feel like shit. Yes eating and drinking everyday is nice and all, but I feel physically and mentally like shit. I guess I need a few bros to flame me to get my fat ass back to the gym and regain my chin

I'm there with ya bro,i'm sitting at 270 at 5'8 been in and out of the gym for the last 2 years.I just had another kid,i've been drinking alot eating shit and doing nothing.Hell i don't even care about getting on my board this winter.The bad thing is, i just don't give a fuck.

 

[BigGuyPHX]

got married in june, took time off (2 months, which is the longest time off I have ever taken in like 8 years) and I need motivation to get back to the gym. I want to loose excess weight, but after living the married life, I see myself wanting to get home from work, draft out a little beer from my Heiniken Keg can and say fuck it. I don't know how many bros have gone through this, but I feel like shit. Yes eating and drinking everyday is nice and all, but I feel physically and mentally like shit. I guess I need a few bros to flame me to get my fat ass back to the gym and regain my chin

If you want to stay married you NEED to take of yourself and feel good about yourself. IF you dont you WILL feel like shit and you will put that negitive crap off on your woman. BAD NEWS.

You know better so get your fat Heiniken drinking ass up and go to the gym.

BigGuyPHX

 

[just_A_Gazin]

I did the exact same thing at the exact same time (without the getting married part. I got back to the gym about three weeks ago. Was very embarrassed the first couple of days because I struggled with some of the lightest weights and my cardio went to hell in a hand basket. but I am very quickly getting back on track and almost lifting what I was when I stopped. Muscle memory is an amazing thing. But let it go for too long and your work will keep getting harder and harder. Its great to hear that someone actually is in love with his girl and wants to get home to her and the Heinny (Heinicken I mean, lol)

incognito

 

[nemesis 2027]

If you want to stay married you NEED to take of yourself and feel good about yourself. IF you dont you WILL feel like shit and you will put that negitive crap off on your woman. BAD NEWS.

You know better so get your fat Heiniken drinking ass up and go to the gym.

BigGuyPHX

That's what I'm talking about! ...

 

[timtim]

i found it to be the exact opposite. being married has made it easier in a ton of ways. my wife is hardcore too, year round dieting for a long time. it just made eating and planning much easier.

 

[ProtienFiend]

If you want to stay married you NEED to take of yourself and feel good about yourself. IF you dont you WILL feel like shit and you will put that negitive crap off on your woman. BAD NEWS.

You know better so get your fat Heiniken drinking ass up and go to the gym.

BigGuyPHX

Best advice yet...

 

[airsmith2k]

got married in june, took time off (2 months, which is the longest time off I have ever taken in like 8 years) and I need motivation to get back to the gym. I want to loose excess weight, but after living the married life, I see myself wanting to get home from work, draft out a little beer from my Heiniken Keg can and say fuck it. I don't know how many bros have gone through this, but I feel like shit. Yes eating and drinking everyday is nice and all, but I feel physically and mentally like shit. I guess I need a few bros to flame me to get my fat ass back to the gym and regain my chin

u sound like every guy i know that has got married or has a serious g/f lol

 

[Hybridtheory2o]

Ok well I know how you feel bro. I am 21 now goign on 22 and a year ago after this girl I really like distracted me from the gym by telling me I dont need to workout anymore I look good enough(yeh by the way fuck that noise) and then her ass dumped me I took a year off. All I wanted to do was play halo 2 online and drink beer and sulk in my own misery. I became lazy and for the first time in my life found a little extra chub and I was like WHOA. I just stopped caring and thought everyone is right I dont need to go to the gym anymore blah blah im fine right now.

It sucked and I had absolutley no motivation what so ever. So what I did was someday somehow someway I found animalpak.com and I started checkin out wrath and all those guys and I began to read their articles and wow that shit sunk right in.


Life aint easy and changes are always present but its how you deal with them. Bodybuilding aint bout needs its bout fuckin wants and desires. You have to want this for YOU. You want a sick lookin physique so when ur walkin around wwith ur wife and u pass by fat outta shape husbands and their wives are lookin at you admiring your wife for havin a husband with a sick ass physique and they sulk becuz theirs has a big ol donut disposal hangin from em. Yeh that shti makes ya feel good and you know it.

You know what you need to do...You know what you want to do...You need to start by making realistic goals. If you need to get rid of the heineken dispenser becuz the last time i seen a guy with 20" guns that got that way by sittin in a recliner drinkin a heineken umm i dont recall that ever fuckin happening actually....sooo get rid of it.

You need to get in the gym throw around some light weights get the heart rate up. Put posters in a binder instead of your wall of all the pros that look sick. Oh and by the way your goals need to start as simple as possible..for instance just PRACTICE going to the gym everyday and when it gets to the point where work is about to be over and ur like fuck i cant wait to hit the gym then do it. get the wife in there and she can do her cardio and u can do ur weights and u can spend time briefly in the gym but split up and do ur shit so its like ur spendin time without really spendin time...


As ronnie coleman says..LIGHTWEIGHT!!! AINT NUTTIN TO IT BUT TO DO IT!!!

 

[supertech69]

Wow, good to see a lot of old timers are still around. I rarely post on here anymore because of all the dumbshit that has been going on for the past few yrs.

I feel your pain str8cubano, I have been married for just over 3yrs now. My wedding was 1 week after placing 2nd in a contest & I was in the best shape of my life. I now just look at pictures and cry! lol I am trying to get it back together finally after limping along since then, but life has gotten way more hectic and you have to be a lot more crafty to get everything in. Ahh yes, the good ole days when I could spend 90 minutes training everything I had scheduled. Now it's not uncommon to have at least one dya a week where I've only got 30 min to get a workout in. I plan to get back into shape and maybe do a show again in 2009. If you can just get yourself back in the hardcore mode for 30 days or so, you'll get bitten by the bug and be rollin in no time. Good luck!

 

[BigGuyPHX]

Best advice yet...

Thanks bro!

I call it like I see it.

BigGuyPHX

 

[blackpanther]

Getting married drove me even closer to the gym just to get some peace and quiet now and again! I love my girl to bits but I need time to myself to train otherwise I will feel like total shit.

 

[THE GOOD SUN]

Good seeing you too RADAR. Thanks for advice bros. Its pretty much just get the fuck back and do it. I have been hitting it, but on and off. Maybe one week I went twice, the next week I went once, then I went a week after that and got sick...so its been a bad rythem, but once it starts, it should stay. What sucks is that I know deep down inside eventually things will happen to totally take me off track. If its bad now, it'll be worst when I have kids. I just have to accept the fact that we have to go to the gym( as a modern society) because our jobs aren't what they used to be, and if we don't go to the gym, we will all be unhealthy and look like shit. Its just one of those things that have to be done. Anyways, thanks for advice again

I think you're overwhelming yourself and in doing so defeating yourself right from the start.
Going from drinkin' and being a domestic fatass vagina (i'm sorry but it has to be said) to filling yourself full of EPHEDRINE and drivin' to the gym 100mph while listening to metallica is NOT going to make you rep out 315 on the bench ...sorry ...and then you'll be disappointed, possibly injured, but definitely UNMOTIVATED.

"RAH RAH RAH" is great but it doen't move dead weight!

Also, IMO, jumping on gear right now I think would be a mistake. You gotta go back to basics, you have to re-establish your foundation a bit, such as cardio & diet. Re-evaluating your physique goals & make a schedule that fits in with your married life & your goals.

what you need is a plan.....
1.) diet - plan how you're gonna get your 6-7 meals a day ...or simply start by substituting all the "crap" out of your diet and replacing it with "good" foods. (limit the beer to weekends or to just 1 on weekdays) This will make you start feeling better physically & mentally.

2.) start with cardio - RUN, on the streets, at the gym, or where ever 3 days a week

3.) once you've got a lil cardio back, start to hit basic movement ...squats/Mon, bench/Weds, deads/Fri ...and go easy to start (higher reps/lower weight)

4.) let nature take it's course & trust me it won't be long

to attemp to go back to the gym without a plan or with unrealistic goals is short changing yourself, your efforts, and setting yourself up to fail

just be smart and realistic ...BE REASONABLE! ...and be good to yourself and remember ANYTHING is better than what you're doing now

 

[George Spellwin]

I finished my article on how to Find a Gym, the top 10 things to look for. Thanks for your help. Here's a link to the article "Find a Gym"!

 

[stevesmi]

I finished my article on how to Find a Gym, the top 10 things to look for. Thanks for your help. Here's a link to the article "Find a Gym"!

I like your article. also I would add under cleanliness the locker rooms and bathrooms as well, and even the showers and sauna. I have been to some gyms where the sauna smelled like pee, i really think someone pee'd in the ashes no joke. I never went back to that gym.

 

[C.K.]

If you cant motivate yourself no one else can...

 

[BLM Shot]

I like your article. also I would add under cleanliness the locker rooms and bathrooms as well, and even the showers and sauna. I have been to some gyms where the sauna smelled like pee, i really think someone pee'd in the ashes no joke. I never went back to that gym.

X2.
The locker room where I go constantly smells like a giant deuce. Some fans and that nice smelling stuff that sprays every 10 minutes or so even help truck stop shitters smell better.

 

[stevesmi]

X2.
The locker room where I go constantly smells like a giant deuce. Some fans and that nice smelling stuff that sprays every 10 minutes or so even help truck stop shitters smell better.

when i train with a buddy of mine at his Y their steamroom smells like ass which I think is the smell you are describing, i had to get out of there cause of the smell.. bunch of old guys in there... and then 2 days later I came down with a horrible sinus infection.. i believe it was stepping or sitting on something that got me sick.

i will never go back but for him it doesn't bother him at all. everyone is different.

 

[binö]

here is what i would do.
force yourself to go in the AM, no matter how much it sucks at first.
no matter how early...i get up at 4am to make it happen.
do it for a month and you'll be surprised how easy it is...it is so spectacular
to come home everyday from work and not having to workout.
then you can still chill and have a few beers.
such a huge bonus after yrs and yrs of after work lifting...AM workouts, with the
stim of your choice, is pretty awesome, i have great workouts.
it's only an hour or so a day, make the AM sacrifice it's the best thing to ever happen
to my lifting career (aside from test-e)

 

[timtim]

here is what i would do.
force yourself to go in the AM, no matter how much it sucks at first.
no matter how early...i get up at 4am to make it happen.
do it for a month and you'll be surprised how easy it is...it is so spectacular
to come home everyday from work and not having to workout.
then you can still chill and have a few beers.
such a huge bonus after yrs and yrs of after working lifting...AM workouts, with the
stim of your choice, is pretty awesome, i have great workouts.
it's only an hour or so a day, make the AM sacrifice it's the best thing to ever happen
to my lifting career (aside from test-e)

i agree for my cardio. though hiit works in the am or pm, getting it done and not having to do it later is great. i cant lift in the am. tried to get my hormones up for that time of day for a few months, couldnt do it.

 

[binö]

i agree for my cardio. though hiit works in the am or pm, getting it done and not having to do it later is great. i cant lift in the am. tried to get my hormones up for that time of day for a few months, couldnt do it.

i feel the strongest first thing in the morning.
quick bowl of ceral gets the metabo going, strong coffee, loud music...even on days i don't have to work i'm still in the gym stupid early.
I'm the only one there it's great. ipod on the stereo, ride the ligthning at 5am is awesomeness.
and the best thing of all is knowing all day while i'm at work that i get to come home and eat and eat and go to sleep.

 

[ALIN]

got married in june, took time off (2 months, which is the longest time off I have ever taken in like 8 years) and I need motivation to get back to the gym. I want to loose excess weight, but after living the married life, I see myself wanting to get home from work, draft out a little beer from my Heiniken Keg can and say fuck it. I don't know how many bros have gone through this, but I feel like shit. Yes eating and drinking everyday is nice and all, but I feel physically and mentally like shit. I guess I need a few bros to flame me to get my fat ass back to the gym and regain my chin

You have to take that 1st step my man. If your not happy how you look and feel,,make that change.
Slowly but steadily critique your diet and training. Making the 1st leap is the hardest part
in getting your feet wet again.