Favorite Simpsons quotes?

[David Schwimmer]

My location, when Homer owes money to PBS and he is hiding in the church when a trash can gets thwon through the window.

Oscar the grouch pops out and says in a Ralph-like voice: "Elmo knows where you live."

Homer: You gave both dogs away? You know how I feel about giving!

Homer: There, there. Shut up boy.

When they are on Mr. Burns' boat outside of American waters and taunting the coast guard through a megaphone:

Coast Guard: We cant hear you. Come 300 feet closer.

 

[Becoming]

When Lisa tells Ralph she doesn't like him, and Bart is watching the replay on the VCR, and keeps rewinding it:
Bart: Look Lisa, you can pinpoint the exact moment his heart is breaking....

That is the funniest ever...

Oh yeah and -
Nelson: Hah- hah!

 

[t3c]

homer: are you gonna release the dogs?
homer: or the bees?
homer: or the dogs that when they bark they shoot bees out of thier mouth
mr burns: smithers...release the robotic richard simmons

 

[DP38]

When Moe open a Family Restaurant.

Homer:"Bart! You didn't finish your spaghetti!"
Homer's Brain:" Wait!! This could be ours!"
Homer:" Run Bart!!! Run for your life!!!"

 

[Monkey Pox]

The one in my signature and also when Bart says "Don't worry about the presents. On Christmas shouldn't we focus on what's really important? Celebrating the birth of Santa."

 

[cutiegirl]

Ralph " dying tickles"

 

[Stryc-9]

"Son, I just called to say I don't love you... you are a very bad son Montel..."

- Homer talking to Mr. Burns on the phone, pretending to be his mother.

 

[Becoming]

Just thought of another good one... When Homer is mayor of New Springfield, and he sits on a lawnchair on the sidewalk and says "Now all we have to do is sit back and wait for a NFL franchise to knock on our door". Then a guy comes up and says "excuse me, I represent the Arizona Cardinals" And Homer goes "keep walking buddy, no one is buying what your peddling here" (Or something like that) Best burn on the Cardinals ever!

 

[gorilla_boy]

Me fail english? That's unpossible!

 

[MT375]

Marge: All right children. Let me have those letters,
I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole.
Bart: Oh, please. There's only one fat guy who brings us presents
and his name ain't Santa.

Homer: "We live in a society of laws.
Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies?
For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"

Homer:Son, a woman is a lot like a refrigerator! They're about 6 feet tall and weigh 300 lbs.

God has no place within these walls (school), just like facts have no place within organized religion!
- Superintendent Chalmers

Ralph: Miss Hoover?
Miss Hoover: Yes Ralph what is it?
Ralph: My worm went in my mouth and I then ate it, can I have another one?
Miss Hoover: No Ralph there aren't anymore. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning
Ralph: Oh boy Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

Homer: Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car"
"You have 10 minutes to move your car"
"Your car has been impounded"
"Your car has been crushed into a cube"
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube"

Come see the battle to determine what the greatest nation on this planet is: Portugal or Mexico!
- TV commercial