Favorite Family Guy quotes...

[TheGreatSatan]

Lois and peter watching Lois's dead aunt’s inheritance video:

Lois Aunt : "Lois, you were always my favorite niece, I just knew you would meet a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true, but I was wrong!!"

Peter: "And now your dead! Score one to Peter!!"

 

[Lao Tzu]

Stewie: You know, mother, this could almost have passed for a palatable banana pudding, but without Nilla wafers it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions. Now clean it up!"


when peter becomes a prostitute stewie looks at peter then looks at meg then says to meg 'eerie isnt it, its like looking into the future'.

 

[from zero]

Stewie: If Lois cooked any more slowly, why, she wouldn't be cooking very at all now, would she?! ... Wait, no, that's no good at all ... Oh, oh, I've got one ... Lois cooks so slowly, she wouldn't need an egg timer. She would need an egg CALENDAR! Oh yes, I went there.

 

[hardrock]

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
I do...Ya bastard-peter in court

 

[Gemini_Man]

Volume 2 goes on sale sept. 9th!! I'm all over it!

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

(singing girls) "vagina junction!!...what's your fuction?!?!"
(singing fat guy in train conductor's outfit) "Takin in sperrrrrmm, and spittin out BABIES!!!"

 

[Gemini_Man]

Peter: Well, i guess you dont have to toilet train, i should give you some beer eh? That stuff runs right through ya

Stewie: (Sarcastc) Oh great while we do that we can smoke a doobie and watch some porn!