F*ck Mother's Day

[Bikini Mod]

You know, I feel your pain to a large extent (but not totally because even though all four of my children were taken from me and given to an abuser, I didn't hear their voices, I didn't get a card, I didn't have them to hug nor could I give them a kiss - HOWEVER, I did get texts from 2 of the 4 telling me that they loved me no matter what and though I spent the weekend in bed with a bottle) I did NOT have a grave site to visit.

I know how badly you hurt. My girls wer my world. The sun rose and set on them. I fought for 9 years and spent over 500K to try and save them in the end my actions bankrupted TWO families (not his but mine) was subjected to horrible public ridiculre and all it did was make it worse for my children. You think that kids aren't cruel? Try to explain to your friends (and not-so-friends) why it is that you live with your daddy (who treats you like shit) and you aren't allowed to even talk to your mommy on the phone. Yea, that has been MY KIDS' Mother's Day for over 4 years now. Every Mother's Day, Christmas, birthday and every day in between.

But that's my pain and my children's, not yours.

Your mother will never be there again to stroke your hair, guide you when you are lost or whisper how proud she is of you when you feel there's nothing left for you to be proud of. I know... it hurts. But is she really gone?

I mean, do her words not still ring in your ears? Does she not come to you in your dreams, day and night? Don't you have the values that she instilled in you? Don't you find yourself correcting certain behaviors because SHE told you that you should do things "this way" and "not that way"? Don't you try to live all of the good things she tried to teach you?

Clearly, she would not have wanted you to act the way you did.... but I would think knowing you and loving you the way I am sure she did, she would have said, "Son, I may not always love or even like the things you do. Heck, I might even say that I HATE THOSE THINGS. But one thing that will always be true is just how much I LOVE YOU, the good and the bad. I love ALL of YOU."

So, why don't you go talk to a competent professional to find a way to ignore the negative voices in your head, the ones that tell you to do wrong. Find a way to live on a path that would make your mother proud because as sure as I am typing this here today, your mother lives forever... as long as YOU live your life the way SHE TAUGHT YOU TO."

Your mother is ALWAYS with you.... always.

 

[HAYEZ]

lmfao sounds like my kind of night...and i love tootsies...if i could live there i would camp out right on the stage

 

[musclemom]

MM and i don't agree on much since our lives are so different, but i lost my mom 1 1/2 yrs ago, and she is spot on regarding this.. I'm still dealing with the loss she was a big part of my life even though she lived so far away. Often just talking to someone, and telling her story to others, who she was will often help..

If not now, take it from those of us who have live through this, you don't have to do it alone.. and if you try, you will eventually have to share it with others eventually because that's all that seems to help..

good luck.. and i hope you washed good..

My mother passed away five years ago. I was extremely, extremely close to her. She was my friend as well as my mom, and I was her only child and the one who made the medical decision to discontinue life support after her cerebral aneurysm ruptured (after surgery, she was actually in the step-down unit waiting to be transferred to rehab).

It took three full years to really move past the grief; each year got a little easier. However, if I'm to be completely honest, the first six months after her death I was not mentally all there. I have virtually no memory of that time, I missed paying a lot of bills, I really flaked out. My spirituality helped some (but I wasn't totally involved in it at that time), having my husband to talk to (he cared for her a lot) and tinture of time helped the most. Allowing the grief, experiencing it instead of avoiding it, if that makes sense, helped me move through and beyond it.

 

[digimon7068]

You do realize that you could have easily saved yourself over $7,000, with essentially the same overall results, if you'd only done steps 1, 17 and 18, correct?

Take a little motherly advice, talk to a professional about your unresolved issues of pain vis a vis your mother's death. She'd be deeply saddened by your behavior. Nobody wants their son getting fucked up and pissing money away on cheesy whores.

i agree with you, to a certain extent. . .always do. . .you're good peeps. . .but, everyone has different ways of dealing with their pain. . .many methods are self-destructive. . .if we're lucky, we live to see the error in our ways. . .i have not walked in his shoes. . .heck, i still have one of my grandparents. . .stopped in with my kids and dropped off her mother's day card yesterday and visited with her for a half-hour until it was time to move on and see my own mother. . .i hope you find a way to constructively deal with your pain someday, jay-bro. . .

 

[nimbus]

your boy hooked you the fuck up

 

[pdaddyII]

I spent a half hour of my life today in front of the mirror scrubbing my penis with body wash. I'm positive that i have some combination of sexually transmitted diseases. Fmylife.

Just the result of having a good time, suck it up sailor

 

[musclemom]

i agree with you, to a certain extent. . .always do. . .you're good peeps. . .but, everyone has different ways of dealing with their pain. . .many methods are self-destructive. . .if we're lucky, we live to see the error in our ways. . .i have not walked in his shoes. . .heck, i still have one of my grandparents. . .stopped in with my kids and dropped off her mother's day card yesterday and visited with her for a half-hour until it was time to move on and see my own mother. . .i hope you find a way to constructively deal with your pain someday, jay-bro. . .

Digi you and I agree on a lot. All I'm saying, really, is that in doing what he did, he did everything BUT deal with the grief. He basically numbed himself and stayed so busy he couldn't think about what really hurt. That's why I'm saying maybe he should consider talking to someone, it doesn't have to be a professional, just someone he trusts who is a good listener. Very often, the most difficult, or even scariest, thing to do is allow yourself to experience unpleasant thoughts or feelings and this is particularly true for men. The societal message is that, for men, feeling pain or emptiness at loss, particularly of a parent, is not masculine. They don't have a safe way to experience it. Getting drunk, getting stoned, and getting laid, those are acceptable ways of acting out and avoiding what really hurts. Meanwhile, sitting with a friend or therapist and crying for an afternoon and then reminscing about how your mom made a certain meal or something great she did when you were a kid, and all the shit you miss about her, that's pussy shit that women do

As you said, we all have to do what we feel is right, but I'm just waving a flag, particularly if Jboy finds himself repeating his actions. Having fun is one thing, going on a mindless rampage, another.

 

[SpyWizard]

My mother passed away five years ago. I was extremely, extremely close to her. She was my friend as well as my mom, and I was her only child and the one who made the medical decision to discontinue life support after her cerebral aneurysm ruptured (after surgery, she was actually in the step-down unit waiting to be transferred to rehab).

It took three full years to really move past the grief; each year got a little easier. However, if I'm to be completely honest, the first six months after her death I was not mentally all there. I have virtually no memory of that time, I missed paying a lot of bills, I really flaked out. My spirituality helped some (but I wasn't totally involved in it at that time), having my husband to talk to (he cared for her a lot) and tinture of time helped the most. Allowing the grief, experiencing it instead of avoiding it, if that makes sense, helped me move through and beyond it.

yep, my sister lost a husband early in the Gulf war, she says it gets easier, but it doesn't stop hurting...

AS a family i think we are clinging more to each other now rather than allowing her to be the center of how we connected.. It's funny in a way how my younger sister who is 14 yrs younger than me has had to become the central focus point for us, but i guess it's how it should be..

 

[stosstruppe]

I spent a half hour of my life today in front of the mirror scrubbing my penis with body wash. I'm positive that i have some combination of sexually transmitted diseases.

+

 

[nangiggles]

Well.... fuck father's day is the right statement for me, loosing a parent who you had a good relationship or sometimes worse a cold relationship is just beyond awful, because you loved someone close or because you feel remorse for not having a better relationship... if you think it was ok then fine, but just feel what you feel and don't numb urself out with booze and chicks, eventhough u had whiskey u didnt want to cheat yet as the night passed you did... seems you started to lose control over urself and once that happens is when the real trouble begins... I'm not judging you at all, just try to be careful ^_^

Oh.... and wear a condom kthnxbye