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EF Language Translator

jnuts

jnuts

New member
With all the venom being spewed lately, I thought I'd try to do something to add a little levity...

We couldn't find a baby sitter tonight and my wife went to bed early after a long week of night school. So...I had a couple of hours to bang out a little code.

Introducing the EF Translator

With this tool you can turn your post into Kayne or BikiniMom languge.

The Kayne conversion is pretty simple. Everything goes uppercase and all punctuation is killed deader than last weeks roadkill. (in theory at least...there isn't much error checking in there)

With BikiniMom, you can set three levels of anger. The higher the level goes.... well, just take a look and see.

On the page, copy some text into the textarea, select your options and then click on "Convert Your Language..."

This is all in good humor :D

If somebody get's pissed off I'll just take it down. I don't need to be adding fuel to the many burning fires around here.

Edit ->

Latest version includes a MassiveGuns option and a poem generator....

MG can now generate Ceebs specific poams...
 
Last edited:
Great Idea! If anyone gives you shit, I will become your personal post bodyguard! And I will flame them into submission! Needs some more detail/code and handles, but this has so much potential!
 
Last edited:
Been thinking about trying to add MassiveGuns in there, but I can't find any common thread in his bastardization of the english language
 
ReallyHighIntensity said:


your name is Mr. X??
Click to expand...

Nope... I just saw that folks wanted to use it but didn't have Excel, so I converted it.

I would be the "jnuts" listed on the page -> I gave Mr X. full credit.

Didn't mean to confuse anyone.
 
ReallyHighIntensity said:


?????
Click to expand...

Great are you deaf like the chick on Survivor or are you color blind like John Doe?

Ok I will try again HI!

No Mr. New Handle Man!
 
I sent Mr X. a pm checking to make sure it was cool to do that, but haven't heard anything back from him.
 
jnuts said:
an ode to MG

The begginings of a "MassiveGunzled" option has been added
Click to expand...

Good now transfer some of Saddams Swiss Account funds into my account like I told you to!
 
DcupSheepNipples said:


Good now transfer some of Saddams Swiss Account funds into my account like I told you to!
Click to expand...

Run thru the MassiveGunzlizer that would be:

good now tranfer som of saddams swis account funds into mi account lik i tolt u to!
 
Nice! works well, see:

I'm really MassiveGunz! And even with all the hints you still dont get it do you!

im realli masivegunz! and even with all the hints u still dont get it do u!
 
DcupSheepNipples said:
Nice! works well, see:

I'm really MassiveGunz! And even with all the hints you still dont get it do you!

im realli masivegunz! and even with all the hints u still dont get it do u!
Click to expand...

so if your masivegunz get under his name and post something
ugly-mug.jpg
 
Woodin's Sig

"Thanks man... if we are ever in prison together i'll rape you last." - Saint808
"Bullplop! 100% Grade A Bullplop I tell you!" - Homer J. Simpson
"I won't touch coke anything that I have to snort, unless it leads directly to sex with a supermodel afterwards." - Supersizeme
"Understanding comes from a bowl of high grade marijuana, ignite the insight. peace" - Havoc

When Gunzilized:

"thanks man... if we ar evver in prisoon together ill rap u lasst." - saint808
"bullplop! 100%% grad a bullplop i tell u!" - homer j. simpson
"i wont touch cok anithing thatt i hav to snort, unles it leads directli to sex withh a supeermodel afterwards." - ssupersizeme
"understandin comes from a bbowl of hiigh grad marijuana, ignit the insite. peace" - havoc
 
BTW, with the MG code, there is some randomness in there, so they won't always come out the same. If you don't like what you first see, try to convert again...
 
Theres' an error with the bmom light translation.

Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a0009'

Subscript out of range: '-1'

/ef/default.asp, line 290
 
Rockafella Skank said:
Theres' an error with the bmom light translation.

Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a0009'

Subscript out of range: '-1'

/ef/default.asp, line 290
Click to expand...

What was the text you were trying to convert when it bombed?
 
You need to make bikinimom's translation add like 5 paragraphs to whatever you say to make it more realistic. =)
 
the expenses for preparin for mi duii trial hav now exceeeded $20,,000. this is unusualli high, butt i want to us this experienc to educat miself on the workins of teh criiminal justic sistem.

so far, i am convinced that if u spend enough monei, u can creat reasonabl doubt aniplace.
 
do a fonz talker:

It should go every line like this.

If you did it that way, it would be pretty cool.

And dont forget to put his signature at the bottom.

-P0ink :)
 
okay.... will look at fonz.

right now I think I'm going to add a poetry option for the MassiveGunalizer....

then we'll add some others
 
oh yeah, please do a 'liberal' talker for me.

it is a bitch trying to make an entire paragraph read with a lisp.
 
Oh... this is pretty funny :D

Since MG always breaks out into poems, I've added a poem generator to the translator. I did a quick search and found 30 poems that were on the net and threw them into the code. It's an option that can be used for any of the translations, not just MassiveGunz.

I think it's kinda funny.

If anybody knows of a repository of bad poems, point them my way and I'll add them to the code. :D
 
o... this is pretti funni

sinc mg alwais breaks out innto poams, iv addded a poam generator to the translator. i didd a quic search and found 30 poams that wer on the nnet and threw them into the code. its an option that can be used for ani of the ttranslations, not just masivegunz.

i think its kinda funni.

if anibodi knows of a repositori of bad poams, poiint them mi wai and ill add them to the code. bors im a thespeein so i wrote a poem:

violets ar blue,, roses ar red, pleas tell yo mama that sh gives som good head.
 
Too funny, jnuts man your one of the most valuable members here, thanks.

hello bors
just checing in with som mgds and som cocaine.
ii wrot this poam whil i was workin on mi masive lats

*OWNED* bors im a thespeein so i wrote a poem:

roses ar red, im at the doorr, yo mama has a cup saiing chang for the poor.
 
p0ink said:
oh yeah, please do a 'liberal' talker for me.

it is a bitch trying to make an entire paragraph read with a lisp.
Click to expand...

hmmm... to balance the yin and yang, I'd have to do a conservative version too.

I'm looking...
 
again, freaking Genious bro.



hello ceebs i hav writtten a poam *OWNED* for u whil i was liftin 14 plates todai



bors an ode to Ceebss:

but the roses ar wilting,
the violets arr dead,
the sugar is lumpi,
and so is mi biceps hhead.
 
Apparently I induce vertigo.

bors an ode to Ceebss:

roses ar blue.
violets ar red.
ever sinc we kised,
im dizzi in the head

Jnuts, you are getting the biggest fucking karma blast EVER when I spread mine around a little more. :D
 
I think this is HYSTERICAL!

And I concurr with Warik.... :D

But I don't think it worked properly. Either that or I am too stoopid from sleep deprivation to use it correctly.

Thank you jnuts. I am extremely flattered and appreciate the good natured roast! I guess you are the "Don Rickles" of EF. Now there's an idea!!
 
bikinimom said:
I think this is HYSTERICAL!

And I concurr with Warik.... :D

But I don't think it worked properly. Either that or I am too stoopid from sleep deprivation to use it correctly.

Thank you jnuts. I am extremely flattered and appreciate the good natured roast! I guess you are the "Don Rickles" of EF. Now there's an idea!!
Click to expand...

You mean "Don Dickles" At least that's what his wife told me!

Bada Bing!

Please no Dcup generator jnuts! The last thing I need is Sheeple speaking back at me with Nipple speak!
 
bikinimom said:


But I don't think it worked properly. Either that or I am too stoopid from sleep deprivation to use it correctly.
Click to expand...


It's pretty simple. Just take the text you want to convert and type/paste it into the left hand box. Then select your options and click on "Convert Your Language". Here's an example of you post run through at the "Kinda Annoyed" Level, without the poem option:
------------
I think this is HYSTERICAL!

And I concurr with Warik. . . .

But I don't think it worked properly. EITHER THAT OR I AM TOO STOOPID FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION TO USE IT CORRECTLY.

Thank you jnuts. I am extremely flattered and appreciate the good natured roast! I guess you are the "Don Rickles" of EF. NOW THERE'S AN IDEA!!.
 
This is too funny! :)

Bikinimommalyzed "This is the last time I tell you people to settle down":

THIS IS THE LAST TIME I TELL YOU PEOPLE TO SETTLE DOWN. .
Have a nice day! :)

Tee Hee! I wrote a poem:

Roses are red, violets are blue, what Yo mama needs is a good shampoo. .


Although it seems to have something missing as there is no evidence of EF Tourette's!

HEhehehehehehehehhehehehheheheee

Have a wonderful day all!

*note to self*

Leave some candy for the kids. ;)
 
ahem...

a Tourette's option has been added :D

For the record, there are 50 phrases that can be used. Six came from George Carlin's list... The rest came straight from BM posts. Nothing like being take out of context... :)
 
Re: This is too funny! :)

bikinimom said:

Although it seems to have something missing as there is no evidence of EF Tourette's!

HEhehehehehehehehhehehehheheheee

Have a wonderful day all!

*note to self*

Leave some candy for the kids. ;)
Click to expand...

Tourette's = ON
Anger Level = Light

--------
ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS TO HAVE SOMETHING MISSING AS THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF EF TOURETTE'S!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEEE
---> PISS! <---


Have a wonderful day all!

*note to self*

Leave some candy for the kids.
---> COCKSUCKER! <---
 
********** Great Translator J**************

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TOSS MY SALAD BITCH.
Have a nice day! :)

Tee Hee! I wrote a poem:

Violets are blue, roses are red, please tell Yo mama that she gives some good head. .
 
u know u want to tos mi salad bitch

bors im a thespeein so i wrote a poem:

roses ar red, yo mamas a witch, giv her a quarter andd shell be ur bitch.
 
jnuts said:

The Kayne conversion is pretty simple. Everything goes uppercase and all punctuation is killed deader than last weeks roadkill.
Click to expand...


YES, INCLUDING CRY BABY BITCHES WHO HAVE MY NAME IN THEIR SIG BUT CRY TO SAM WHEN I AM NOT A NICE BOY TO THEM. WHAT A FUCKING BITCH!!!



BTW.......GREAT POST JNUTS!!!
 
Don't shoot the messenger LOL

bikinimom said:
Actually, if that is to be the case (And I STRONGLY AGREE KAYNE) it should be about banning ASSHOLES. :)
Click to expand...

EF Translator:

ACTUALLY, IF THAT IS TO BE THE CASE (AND I STRONGLY AGREE KAYNE) IT SHOULD BE ABOUT BANNING ASSHOLES.

YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT I WROTE A POEM:

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
WITH MINT JELLY.
THANK YOU.
 
SO I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO BE LOBBYING TO GET ME BANNED AS WELL.
 
The Ranger has now been added. He has a "Fri. Night" option.

Original text http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?postid=2345468#post2345468

I just got a dishwasher to replace the portable POS that doesn't work anymore, but here's the catch: I have no cabinet opening to put it in.

I'm thinking, build a frame out of 2x4, anchor it to the wall, then anchor the dishwasher to the frame, add a power cord to the dishwasher, and run the two hoses somewhere around or through the existing sink cabinetry.

Very whiskey tango, but will it work?

Translated w/Fri Nite = on

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I just got a dishwasher to .....replace the portable POS that doesn't work anymore, but here's the catch: I have no cabinet opening to put it in .....

I'm thinking, build a frame out of 2x4, anchor it to the wall, then anchor the dishwasher to the frame, add a power cord to the dishwasher, and run the two hoses somewhere around or through .....the existing sink cabinetry .....heh hehh heh .....

Very .....whiskey tango, but will it work? ...heh heh hehh .....

Bowl Three...

You kids are weak, but I still wrote you a poem:

Roses are red, violets are blue, Yo mama asked what's stupid and poor, and I said you.
 
KAYNE said:
SO I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO BE LOBBYING TO GET ME BANNED AS WELL.
Click to expand...

Darlin' I don't need to lobby anything. I am THE QUEEN of elite and what I say GOES!

SHIT! Didn't YOU KNOW that I am really GS himself?!

Stay in the loop my brutha, stay in the loop!!!:D
 
Whoa...The Ranger Project.

:lmao:

I like this one better.

i just goot a ddishwasher to replac the portabl pos that dooesnt work animore, but heres the catch: i hav no cabinet openinn to put it in.

im thinking, built a fram out of 22x4, anchor it to the wall, then anchorr the dishhwasher to the frame, add a power cord to the dishwasher, annd run the to hoses somewher around or through the existin sink cabinetri.

veri whiskei tango,, but will it work??
 
George Spellwin was just added to the translator...

now that the boards are zipping, some of his translations might be misplaced... :D
 
bikinimom said:


Darlin' I don't need to lobby anything. I am THE QUEEN of elite and what I say GOES!

SHIT! Didn't YOU KNOW that I am really GS himself?!

Stay in the loop my brutha, stay in the loop!!!:D
Click to expand...


I SEEM TO BE OUT OF THE LOOP SOMETIMES.
 
Just like the Iraqi Information Minister, I think the translator needs an EF Information Minister...
 
you know, i read a couple of BM [bikinimom, not bowel movement] posts and she says tee-hee alot.

i mention this because it reminds me of that bugs bunny cartoon, with the witch hopping around loosing hair pins.

anyone remember that one?
 
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