Does ‘hooking up’ really hurt anyone?

[samoth]

"Hook up" is just new-age slang for "one night stand". I've never had interest in either. I thing people just disillusion themselves with semantics. Girl, you're wearing bellbottoms and having a one night stand. It doesn't matter what you chose to call them, they're still the same damn thing.

 

[Spartacus]

The author “imagines the female body as a thing that can be tarnished by too much use,”

 

[samoth]

The author “imagines the female body as a thing that can be tarnished by too much use,”

Sounds like the book was written in the 16th century, lol.

People need to live by their own morals and values... not let other people define them for them.

 

[Smurfy]

Experiment:

One guy, one girl. Each hooks up (has sex with) with 20 different people of the opposite sex in the span of a month. At the end of the month, interview both and tell me how the guy is feeling and how the girl is feeling. Case closed.

Actually, in truth, I don't think "hooking up" is necessarily as damaging as the author implies. But any woman who thinks she can "be as bad as the boys" with no emotional consequences is PROBABLY deluding herself (with a few exceptions here and there).

true. very few exceptions.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Experiment:

One guy, one girl. Each hooks up (has sex with) with 20 different people of the opposite sex in the span of a month. At the end of the month, interview both and tell me how the guy is feeling and how the girl is feeling. Case closed.

Actually, in truth, I don't think "hooking up" is necessarily as damaging as the author implies. But any woman who thinks she can "be as bad as the boys" with no emotional consequences is PROBABLY deluding herself (with a few exceptions here and there).

consider this:

your experiment conducted in

a) the middle east
b) the USA
c) the netherlands or some other nordic type sexually disinhibited country

in the middle east, the men will be acclaimed and the women ostracised. in the USA, the reaction will probably be mixed, and in the netherlands, everyone will probably talk about who has the prettiest dick

men and women have different mental/social wiring. they are tied in to genetically predetermined pattern of behaviour. cool. but ultimately, imo, the root causes of the main difference are going to be societal, not physiological

personally i love hanging out with my emotionally balanced, sexually disinhibited girlfriends we have lots of fun

 

[nefertiti]

GD...Your point carries a certain amount of weight because I do have a few friends from other countries who have entirely different attitudes on sex, and I could see multiple hookups being less damaging to them. But it's been shown that women get a surge of the "love/bonding" chemical, oxytocin (the same chemical in breast milk thought he give that bonding sensation between mother and child) when she has sex, and where for men the oxytocin dissipates quickly, for women it hangs around a little longer. No matter what country your in, a woman will still have that physiological reaction and for most of them, it will screw with their heads at least a little bit. The varying degrees of how they deal with it is where the societal factors play in.

Also, I don't see someone who doesn't take multiple partners as being inhibited sexually. If the choice is, "I don't want to do that," rather than, "I don't think I should do that," then it's simply a matter of choosing what you want for yourself and what you dont, instead of having hesitations because of inhibition.

 

[InquisitivePsyche]

Fact is: girls/guys don't think alike so many guys will not understand what exactly, goes through these girls' heads. I agree with many points that she makes in this article. In research I have done, many girls "hook up," with multiple guys because of self esteem deprivation. It's blatantly obvious that they feel a sense of reinforcement (positive) for a short period of time while they are sleeping around. In other words, for a brief moment they feel "wanted," which increases their self esteem (in the SHORT RUN). And I believe it does harm girls down the road if this behavior is continued. No doubt (but that's an entire new topic in itself). I'm not saying every single girl out there is effected this way, but definitely a good amount.

“I often hear girls say things like, ’We can be as bad as guys now,”’ she says. “But I don’t think that’s what liberation is all about.”

This reminds me of the topic I covered awhile ago for a research paper about mate selection, gender, and evoluntion. Interesting..

 

[heatherrae]

I agree with that. Been seeing it a lot lately. I think it also erodes their self-esteem.

Hell has officially frozen over.


I agree with Mr. Plunkey.

 

[heatherrae]

consider this:

your experiment conducted in

a) the middle east
b) the USA
c) the netherlands or some other nordic type sexually disinhibited country

in the middle east, the men will be acclaimed and the women ostracised. in the USA, the reaction will probably be mixed, and in the netherlands, everyone will probably talk about who has the prettiest dick

men and women have different mental/social wiring. they are tied in to genetically predetermined pattern of behaviour. cool. but ultimately, imo, the root causes of the main difference are going to be societal, not physiological

personally i love hanging out with my emotionally balanced, sexually disinhibited girlfriends we have lots of fun

Well, I agree here, too. I don't think that it is so much that women are all that different than men, we have just been taught that to have one night stands makes us whores and less worthy of love and affection. Men are taught that it makes them studs, sexy and desirable to the opposite sex. It is pretty easy to see why a woman's self esteem suffers from too many one nighters.

 

[Wulfgar]

you're all sluts!