Does ‘hooking up’ really hurt anyone?

[mrplunkey]

Now a new book on this not-so-new subject is drawing fire in some quarters for its conclusion: That hookups can be damaging to young women, denying their emotional needs, putting them at risk of depression and even sexually transmitted disease, and making them ill-equipped for real relationships later on.

I agree with that. Been seeing it a lot lately. I think it also erodes their self-esteem.

 

[nimbus]

there are some great relationships i never would've had if it weren't for "hooking up" in the beginning

 

[matty420]

"are you gonna try and hook up with your grandma later?"

oh sweet, sweet jesus

 

[Cutiebaby]

I agree with that. Been seeing it a lot lately. I think it also erodes their self-esteem.

fully agreed.They will eventually feel as tho they will never be capable of having a normal relationship, and they will begin to think that the only relationship one can have is sexual

 

[mrplunkey]

fully agreed.They will eventually feel as tho they will never be capable of having a normal relationship, and they will begin to think that the only relationship one can have is sexual

I think it's part of the lie of feminism. The feminist movement should be about women having choices -- not about seeing how closely women can act like men.

Sexually, men are wired a specific way. It's not a "get out of jail free" card for bad behavior, but our wiring drives us far more than many of us are willing to admit. Women trying to emulate that behavior because it's "empowering" or somehow makes them "equals" is a mistake. We should be celebrating the differences between men and women but unfortunately we live in a society where its considered "progressive" to deny them instead.

/rant off

 

[the_clockwork]

I like sex with girls

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

I think it's part of the lie of feminism. The feminist movement should be about women having choices -- not about seeing how closely women can act like men.

Sexually, men are wired a specific way. It's not a "get out of jail free" card for bad behavior, but our wiring drives us far more than many of us are willing to admit. Women trying to emulate that behavior because it's "empowering" or somehow makes them "equals" is a mistake. We should be celebrating the differences between men and women but unfortunately we live in a society where its considered "progressive" to deny them instead.

/rant off

Very true. The feminist movement as it stands does more harm than it could be doing good. The competition factor is erroneous and irresponsible. Ask your grandmas/older female relatives what they think of current trends. I doubt there'd be many that reply with jealousy saying Oh how I wish I could've been doing that. Instead you'd get reactions of shame and disgust. These are the same women who've probably had their shit together (especially emotionally) far moreso than their current descendants, and are happier in their old age as well. Soon they'll be the last of their kind if things keep going like they are.

Also, self help books and relationship "experts" have destroyed more relationships than they've ever created/saved. So many people don't know how to think for themselves anymore. Looking for the fast and easy solution ends up bringing them more pain and despair and they wonder why. Grandmas everywhere are left shaking their heads.

 

[nefertiti]

Experiment:

One guy, one girl. Each hooks up (has sex with) with 20 different people of the opposite sex in the span of a month. At the end of the month, interview both and tell me how the guy is feeling and how the girl is feeling. Case closed.

Actually, in truth, I don't think "hooking up" is necessarily as damaging as the author implies. But any woman who thinks she can "be as bad as the boys" with no emotional consequences is PROBABLY deluding herself (with a few exceptions here and there).

 

[Spartacus]

there are some great relationships i never would've had if it weren't for "hooking up" in the beginning

yeah it's kinda a roulette thing
odds suck at roulette though

 

[Spartacus]

ever be fucking a girl for the first time and be in her place for the first time too
be checking out shit in her room during intercourse
I'm a "lights on" kinda guy