Do you like kids

[blueta2]

My sister's husband up and decided he didn't want to be a father one day, too (a child they had planned for, mind you). It's not like oldandconfused left and abandoned them while they were too young to know better. I hear every week about the anger issues Connor has because he knows his father didn't want him (he was five). Blueta, I think if he left after the first or while they were both still babies, I'd be less horrified (I'd even understand, to a degree, and I agree that in some ways it's better that he not be there at all than he be there and be shitty). But he was there for the first six and nine years of their life. Once you choose to be there that long, him leaving and cutting them out of his life is no longer like a woman having an abortion. It's like a mother up and deciding to give her kids to the foster care system at that age simply because she doesn't want to be tied down to them. He made a choice after they were born to be in their lives. He didn't walk till years later. Once you've invested years into raising the kids, the "I didn't want them, she tricked me into having them" bit is irrelevant because he made a choice to stay long enough for them to develop emotional issues from him leaving. Yeah, his wife is lotsofbadwords for getting pregnant when he said he wasn't ready. Yeah, it was manipulative. Yeah, he probably never should have gotten married in the first place. But you know what? Those kids are the ones that really got the short end of the stick.

(lol...remembering something from Chris Rock..."When you have a daughter, you're one responsibility in life....is to keep her off the pole")

ok wait, maybe I misread or didn't read. Oldandconfused left his kids when they were 6 and 9 yrs of their lives, then walked away?

If that's the case, then that is a different story.
I think ALL kids are better off w/out parents who are bad parents than to have them and they mess u up for life.

 

[stilleto]

ok wait, maybe I misread or didn't read. Oldandconfused left his kids when they were 6 and 9 yrs of their lives, then walked away?If that's the case, then that is a different story. .

YES.

now you understand where my judgement comes from?
His kids aren't dealing with a man who left their mom when they were first born... his daughter was NINE and he left. won't even look at pictures of her because he doesn't care.

that's heartless.

 

[all the whey]

YES.

now you understand where my judgement comes from?
His kids aren't dealing with a man who left their mom when they were first born... his daughter was NINE and he left. won't even look at pictures of her because he doesn't care.

that's heartless.

I think it is more heartless his wife chose to bring kids into the world with someone who told her he wasn't ready. (yes I know it takes two)

I know guys who did stick around after the kid. But, over yrs of hating that she did that they were taking it out on the kids.

I am not defending the traditional deadbeat dad's, or even oldandconfused.

But, the problem is women getting preg on purpose after man says he is not ready, to keep a man in her life, or to just get a paycheck.

I hope they invent birthcontrol for men. But, until then all men should use their OWN condoms everytime. Even when the girls says "please!! I want to feel YOU!! I am on the pill!!!!"

 

[blueta2]

YES.

now you understand where my judgement comes from?
His kids aren't dealing with a man who left their mom when they were first born... his daughter was NINE and he left. won't even look at pictures of her because he doesn't care.

that's heartless.

I need time to reread this thread......
It sounds like severe depression to me. Like his numbness factor went into play.
It reminds me a little of people who get a pet, they love this pet for yrs, and then decide to bring it to a vet to get put down or bring it to the spca to give it up. There is a total disconnection there.
As far as what I was saying about having a choice when the kids are very little or not yet born, I stand by that, but this, well I can't relate b/c I have a sensitivity chip.

 

[blueta2]

I think it is more heartless his wife chose to bring kids into the world with someone who told her he wasn't ready. (yes I know it takes two)

I know guys who did stick around after the kid. But, over yrs of hating that she did that they were taking it out on the kids.

I am not defending the traditional deadbeat dad's, or even oldandconfused.

But, the problem is women getting preg on purpose after man says he is not ready, to keep a man in her life, or to just get a paycheck.

I hope they invent birthcontrol for men. But, until then all men should use their OWN condoms everytime. Even when the girls says "please!! I want to feel YOU!! I am on the pill!!!!"

maybe she was hoping he would change. Silly women always think we can change men. He was firm in his belief, she did try, but if he stuck around that long and left! I can't relate! I wouldn't judge, but I can't relate.
They do have birth control for me, it's call a vasectomy!

 

[biteme]

You all quit fighting up in here. And I don't like your kids either. Damn brats.

 

[txbondsman]

he filled a hole in my life that i didn't even know was there until he was born. . .my dreams for the future have changed forever. . .

yep, couldn't have said it better.....

 

[biteme]

Wait until they become teenagers and disappoint the hell out of you.

 

[all the whey]

maybe she was hoping he would change. Silly women always think we can change men. He was firm in his belief, she did try, but if he stuck around that long and left! I can't relate! I wouldn't judge, but I can't relate.
They do have birth control for me, it's call a vasectomy!

That is absolutely right she figured he would change. This shit has happened to many people I know. Enough where I am considering a vasectomy.

I know a few guys who stuck around awhile or forever but the feeling how they were taken advantage of kept building even though they were trying to do "the Right Thing". They eventually took it out on the kids.

Same thing happens when dad finds out he is really not the father. Then, stays in the kids life. Over time it just keeps bothering them.

 

[txbondsman]

Props to you. You did it right in my opinion.

1. Do you think you are a better dad, and can give more to your son that you waited? (instead of having kids at 20?)

2. Are you going to tell your good looking son NOT to have kids young?

1) Personally, I could have fatherd a child, but prior to my late 30's I could have never been a Dad. It was all about ME, drugs and pussy. ( I used to be a good looking MF'er in my 30's now, I have the pics on my desk, I'll post them sometime. I was a goodlooking single guy with plenty of money, the wimmins weren't a problem. LOL)

2) yes, I already do. I tell him that there are 3 things that wil keep him from playing baseball in college. ( that's his 10 year old focus, baseball in college and posibly MLB)
(a.) abusing alcohol- he knows that I'm "allergic" to alcohol and it caused me many problems
(b.) illegal drugs of any kind, period
(c.) getting a girl pregnant before he finishes HS, as he gets older, I'll adjust the logic, that's all a 10 year old can absorb IMO...