Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below and pretend to be content when your world is falling apart around you?
Do you ever just put on a happy face
- Thread starter Evil_Frisky
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DieselGunz
New member
No i wear my heart on my sleeve, you know how I am feeling
u ok hun?
u ok hun?
tinytank
New member
Frisky said:
all the time, but you cant let it all beat you down, if your saying your world is falling apart, and putting a smile on 24 7, then your living a lie, you need to talk to someone open up, and let all your feelings just pour out no matter how stupid you may think you are for saying you need to let it all out , dont hide behind a mask. pm if u wanna, cause ive been there and know what your talking about , before you know it you feel like your not incontol of your life.
Do as Stevie Winwood would do, and just roll with it, baby.
i've lived my life this way ever since i can remember. The only person that knows my true trials and tribulations is God himself.
Even with my failed marriage Noone knew the troubles we had. I have a cursed habit of just shutting it all off and continuing on. Thought the troubles don't leave me they are blocked away. I shut off.
I don't like this part of me. But when you've been thru so much shit that its the only way you know how to deal and remain sane, its what you do.
Even with my failed marriage Noone knew the troubles we had. I have a cursed habit of just shutting it all off and continuing on. Thought the troubles don't leave me they are blocked away. I shut off.
I don't like this part of me. But when you've been thru so much shit that its the only way you know how to deal and remain sane, its what you do.
Raina said:
i know sugar
i did it for years, then let my guard down for quite a few months but it goes up again.
Its all i know I seems to be my survival.
I'm true for the most part, but i have a hard time showing how vulernable i am.
all esle... well i pretty much am a blunt bitch at times
For the first time in my life, I decided in the Spring to allow myself to be completely open and vulnerable with women, men, my family, and most importantly, myself. I have never been happier. I strongly believe that we attract what we give. How can I expect someone to be open with me, when I have walls up around me? How can I expect someone to understand what I'm feeling when I don't share it with him/her? Yes, I know we still have to protect ourselves. One does not have to be naive to be vulnerable.
I'm not afraid to share who I am. That is a wonderful thing.
I'm not afraid to share who I am. That is a wonderful thing.
i'm still trying to forgive those that hurt me since I was so young. I've cast aside the pain and not confronted my demons... I let a crack in my wall and seems I end up getting hurt again.
I give so damn much and still im struck with disappointment and heartache.
How much does one have to endure to recieve what they give?
I give so damn much and still im struck with disappointment and heartache.
How much does one have to endure to recieve what they give?
M
*MissFit*
Guest
nope
bigmann245
New member
Frisky said:
you just summed up the way i feel too... it is hard to let the guard down because once i do i get stomped on... i am a real open and careing person too. but i do have to put on that smile and act like everything is fine. i dont want to have to tell my life story to everyone that can see im down...
tinytank
New member
Frisky said:
i think you may need to speak to a pro, i mean it when i went threw my bad patch i was saying all the same shit your saying now. but at least your not blameing yourself, that had to be the biggest mistake i made. i kept thinking what was I doing wronge ect ect. these ISSUSE need to be talked about.
Frisky said:
I forgave those that hurt me a few years ago (you know part of my story). When I left the pain in New York, I knew I had to take some time to heal, learn to love myself and forgive. Took me 2 years. I ended a relationship during that time because I wasn't ready to give myself nor was I ready to receive.
Everything has an expiration date. Whether its, death, uncontrollable circumstances, life choices, etc. And, unfortunately, it may result in feelings of disappointment & pain. That's life. I know it isn't easy. What's important is how good it made you feel when things were right. Cherish those memories, heal, and then move onto the next chapter in your life.
Life is too short to give up living.
EnderJE said:
might that be....... being the bitch i'm born to be
No, but I don't give people the time of day when they hurt me because I immediately eliminate them out of my life which helps me find peace and tranquility faster than dwelling on what they did wrong. 
If I am able to eliminate people out of my life with ease that means they did not play a huge part in it in the first place!
If I am able to eliminate people out of my life with ease that means they did not play a huge part in it in the first place!
YASMINA said:No, but I don't give people the time of day when they hurt me because I immediately eliminate them out of my life which helps me find peace and tranquility faster than dwelling on what they did wrong.
very rarely someone breaks thru my barrier.. my concrete wall that i call safety and I spilith over. I've found a very special friend here on elite. One who knows more about me than anyone else. I trust in her and I have confided in her all my deepest darkest moments of my life.
And then there are my family... those that i dare not show my pains to. Ive lived my life hiding them. They all think I am the happiest go lucky chick around. LOL
hmmmmmmmmm yea right.
I eliminate the hurt, the pain. But is it right? I've done this since I can ever remember to survive. Some one hurts me and i shut them off. It doesn't matter if they chose to hurt me or not.... doesn't matter if it was for purpose or not.... I shut them off.
I am that person... the cold one. Can change like night and day, sunny then black. I really don't know if its health or not, but I do know that its all I Know, its how I've survived...
I've had heartache, pains and suffering... and evertime it happened, the minute i felt i coming on i just shut that part of my life off. Cut off contact completely.
I have two kids, they need me. They need me healthy and happy not depressed and sick because of disapointment.
Alot of my friends think I'm cold, shut off, not emotional... but they have no idea what I face when I lie my head on my pillow at night. I am so good at putting on the game face. Walking thru life like nothing is ever wrong and just keep on keeping on.
Truth is, i've done this so long that I feel I can't turn to family. Whoa they would be in shock if they even knew half of my trials and tribulations. And as a matter of fact I don't want them to know.
I deal, and I figure out my issues on my own. I have few VERY few close friend that know alot about me. More than even my closest family memebers know.
I guess I feel ive always been the 'strong' one and dammit I can't let them down. They come to me ALL of them I can't show any sign of weakness.
Therefore I am who I am.. and will prolly be this way all of my life.
Distant and secluded
Saintinistic
New member
I cant keep my mouth shut, so I challenge things that fuck me around. for better or worse. dont be a passive backseat passenger in your life, take the wheel, and deal.Frisky said:
M
*MissFit*
Guest
Why would u spend so much time pretending...
*MissFit* said:
Its really not pretending hun.. Its just thinking its normal to not show your emotions.
Im not talking about faking being nice here.
I'm talking not giving a fuck anymore, and not wanting to have everyone ask me whats wrong all the time so ya just smile and bare it.
Being emotionally detached and being a fake are two different things... IMO. Some may thing other of course.
M
*MissFit*
Guest
I see sorry.. it was easy to get confused 
Frisky said:
Double edge sword Frisky.
You spend you life sucking it up and putting on the happy face, sometimes just for the sake of ease, politness or privacy, and you then start to share how you are really feeling and what you really think of people, events and situations, people might just start accusing you of being irrational, bitchy, unstable or my personal favorite "with issues".
So, I say keep it to yourself or keep it with a close few you can really trust or the few that are actually willing to listen (and I mean really listen not just wait for you to shut up so they can talk).
For your mind try and find some sort of activity that you can use to get some sort of release from the weight and stress on your shoulders (it might take a while but if I can find something you can too).
You spend you life sucking it up and putting on the happy face, sometimes just for the sake of ease, politness or privacy, and you then start to share how you are really feeling and what you really think of people, events and situations, people might just start accusing you of being irrational, bitchy, unstable or my personal favorite "with issues".
So, I say keep it to yourself or keep it with a close few you can really trust or the few that are actually willing to listen (and I mean really listen not just wait for you to shut up so they can talk).
For your mind try and find some sort of activity that you can use to get some sort of release from the weight and stress on your shoulders (it might take a while but if I can find something you can too).
velvett said:
nycgirl said:
True,
Been at that point for a long time.
nycgirl said:
Sure of course but why would you tell people you really don't know or have never met about the personal stresses in your life and why would these complete strangers care about whether or not you have a "happy face" or not especially since they can't see you to ask you when you look kinda down or angry? (If you are refering to what I think you might be, me personally, I don't talk about my stress and my problems to people (made that mistake once or twice) but if others choose to talk to me and someone makes sure it gets back to me - well that's an entirely different conversation.)
I imagine the people Frisky meant were co-workers, family, extended family, friends and those people you see fairly often like the UPS guy, that familiar face in the bank or in the market.
velvett said:I'm totally lost now.
But ok.
You've never had co-workers ask you how you are or what's up, or if you're clearly in an not normal mood as to why?
Only the co-workers I'm close to. The others have deemed me anti-social. When I'm upset, they know, it shows. They also know to stay away and let me deal with it.
Last edited:
i agree.velvett said:
and by the someone who you can trust id narrow it down to your mother or child (if they are old enough to listen to ur problems) or a therapist...
they are stuck with you- everyone else will just use it against you, whether its right away, or in the long term.
never let people see ur weaknesses, otherwise they will make them weaken you even more
Saintinistic
New member
Pink floyds "The wall" springs to mind, with the kids falling into the meat grinder. 
So I’ve been thinking about this thread today and what comes to mind is that there are two kinds of people in the world. One are the kind that like to hear all the latest talk from friends, family, friend’s friends, co-workers and their friends and hell they probably get off on movie star gossip as well. Then there are the people that really don’t want to know about your drama, your friend’s drama, your family, your co-worker their family or their friends and it’s usually because that they don’t want to hear a lot of the constant whining or multiple problems so and so has or the constant OMG did YOU HEAR… And of course with those that listen there are the very same types that like to talk or not talk.
Like every thing else it’s about perspective but there is drama and there’s lack of expression. Whatever you feel, whatever extreme emotion you feel – the sort of feeling were you may burst if you don’t say what you’re feeling or needing is something different.
Holding it all in, not letting people into your world because they have either let you down, you lack trust in them or you just can’t properly express how you feel and what you need to move forward is not the same idle chit chat – it’s a survival tactic albeit somewhat negative it’s sometimes necessary – some people have it, some don’t, some learn through necessity and some can find a happy balance between holding back when appropriate and coming forth when needed.
Who you are and how you behave is a direct result of your life, your actions and reactions and the actions and reactions of others towards you, yet, the beauty in it all is when you acknowledge your own behavior you can have to choice as to how you wish to behave and respond in the future.
So hear me roar (laugh, sob or weep) should really be based on your current needs and not what other people do or expect you to do to satisfy them. If you want to wear a happy face and get through the day until you can sit down in your own way to cope then so be it. Just be aware when your behavior works for you in a positive and fruitful way or if it is just stifling you and sending you backwards.
Like every thing else it’s about perspective but there is drama and there’s lack of expression. Whatever you feel, whatever extreme emotion you feel – the sort of feeling were you may burst if you don’t say what you’re feeling or needing is something different.
Holding it all in, not letting people into your world because they have either let you down, you lack trust in them or you just can’t properly express how you feel and what you need to move forward is not the same idle chit chat – it’s a survival tactic albeit somewhat negative it’s sometimes necessary – some people have it, some don’t, some learn through necessity and some can find a happy balance between holding back when appropriate and coming forth when needed.
Who you are and how you behave is a direct result of your life, your actions and reactions and the actions and reactions of others towards you, yet, the beauty in it all is when you acknowledge your own behavior you can have to choice as to how you wish to behave and respond in the future.
So hear me roar (laugh, sob or weep) should really be based on your current needs and not what other people do or expect you to do to satisfy them. If you want to wear a happy face and get through the day until you can sit down in your own way to cope then so be it. Just be aware when your behavior works for you in a positive and fruitful way or if it is just stifling you and sending you backwards.
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