Dear Ho Ho Ho...

[habitualhealth]

So we're doing secret santa around the office....today we were suppose to leave a "hint" as to who we are for the person we're buying for....

This is what I came up with:

Dear Ho ho ho...

A few things you should know:

1. We have more in commmon than you may think cuz when I don't shower, I stink.

2. You see me every day but rarely say hey

3. I've been known to crack a joke but unlike you I don't drink coke...and we don't smoke.

4. You see, we could be best friends forever but you must figure out your secret santa, who is so damn clever. The end.

Love,

Santa


I know, I'm brilliant.

 

[H_T_]

yeah, you're glimmering...

 

[feisty11975]

Pretty good

 

[habitualhealth]

yeah, you're glimmering...

want me to write you a poem too?


it's sure to melt your heart.

 

[H_T_]

want me to write you a poem too?


it's sure to melt your heart.

7600 degrees to melt stone.

 

[stilleto]

why not leave off one of the "ho's", and remind him that you're the last one?

 

[habitualhealth]

7600 degrees to melt stone.

so you're tellin' me there's a chance?



score.

 

[habitualhealth]

why not leave off one of the "ho's", and remind him that you're the last one?

Edit.

I'm a ho ho ho....

More things you should know....

 

[H_T_]

so you're tellin' me there's a chance?



score.

you can barely boil water...

 

[habitualhealth]

you can barely boil water...

i get pretty hot when i sweat though.





and i asked you not to discuss my cooking skills on here.

 

[stilleto]

Edit.

I'm a ho ho ho....

More things you should know....

did you read my post in the asstrology thread? i read your palm, or whatever you want to call it.

 

[habitualhealth]

did you read my post in the asstrology thread? i read your palm, or whatever you want to call it.

no you know i'm only concerned with my own clever posts.






(going to read now)

 

[digimon7068]

i'll let lady sovereign know that some eye-talian chick with big tits is after her day job

 

[ksharp01]

When I saw this title I thought you were calling for me.

lol

 

[H_T_]

lots of ho's in this thread......title.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Damn, you all make me look like a rank amatuer.

*gasp*

 

[Frisky]

You rang

 

[feisty11975]

When I saw this title I thought you were calling for me.

lol

 

[habitualhealth]

You rang

I said ho...not big nasty skanks.


carry on.

 

[H_T_]

I said ho...not big nasty skanks.


carry on.

lol, she is a HUGE skank. & feeds her kids hot dogs every night.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Dang lot a hookers up in here!

 

[bigmann245]

lol, she is a HUGE skank. & feeds her kids hot dogs every night.

whats wrong with hot dogs

 

[reno240]

ok - so I guess I have to ask - did your secret santa ever figure out who it was?

 

[Frisky]

lol, she is a HUGE skank. & feeds her kids hot dogs every night.

wtf?

 

[ksharp01]

in reference to you k message.........I told you before that your my inspiration. lol

 

[habitualhealth]

ok - so I guess I have to ask - did your secret santa ever figure out who it was?

oh heck no. i'm all kinds of incognito.


she thinks i'm a dood.





.....she's gettin' warmer. heh

 

[needtogetaas]

we have a lot of them here.witch one you talking to.

 

[reno240]

oh heck no. i'm all kinds of incognito.


she thinks i'm a dood.





.....she's gettin' warmer. heh

Interesting. Maybe if you play your cards right, you can dabble in some forbidden love for Christmas. NICE!!

 

[needtogetaas]

oh heck no. i'm all kinds of incognito.


she thinks i'm a dood.





.....she's gettin' warmer. heh

ya pretty close j/k

 

[habitualhealth]

Dang lot a hookers up in here!

i see the queen bee representin'

 

[habitualhealth]

ya pretty close j/k

hint:
my peen is bigger than yours.

love,
ur secret santa

 

[Spartacus]

yeah, you're glimmering...

heh

 

[needtogetaas]

hint:
my peen is bigger than yours.

love,
ur secret santa

meh

 

[digimon7068]

of course you didn't get it. . .you're old. . .like me. . .i just happen to be a little more hip than you

 

[habitualhealth]

of course you didn't get it. . .you're old. . .like me. . .i just happen to be a little more hip than you

can we get some clarity on "old"?

 

[gotmilk]

take two Ziplock sandwich bags, fill them with some water...place in box...and give to your secret victim. He'll figure it out then

 

[habitualhealth]

take two Ziplock sandwich bags, fill them with some water...place in box...and give to your secret victim. He'll figure it out then

LMAO!! Best idea ever.




ps-we should wed.

 

[gotmilk]

ps-we should wed.

I need a pre-nup. My wallet is MINE.

 

[habitualhealth]

I need a pre-nup. My wallet is MINE.

oh, that's not gonna work for me.


NEXT.

 

[digimon7068]

can we get some clarity on "old"?

well. . .i'm 42. . .you're 30-something. . .and there was a thread here today that got quite a few hits, where peeps were comparing their gpa's. . .

 

[habitualhealth]

well. . .i'm 42. . .you're 30-something. . .and there was a thread here today that got quite a few hits, where peeps were comparing their gpa's. . .

I'm WHAT??

Homebro...I'm 26. Stop trying to put my foot in the grave with you.

 

[digimon7068]

I'm WHAT??

Homebro...I'm 26. Stop trying to put my foot in the grave with you.

. . .hey. . .ur the one that didn't get the LS reference

how long (ie, how many years) you been 26??

 

[habitualhealth]

. . .hey. . .ur the one that didn't get the LS reference

how long (ie, how many years) you been 26??

Since April 22, 1980.



I tend not to get old people jokes. Sorry. Stick to my century.

 

[bigmann245]

Since April 22, 1980.



I tend not to get old people jokes. Sorry. Stick to my century.

 

[digimon7068]

I tend not to get old people jokes. . .

. . .or anyone else's for that matter. . .see. . .my hair might be black, but my roots are definitely blond. . .tee hee.

fyi. . .lady sovereign is a young, white british rapper chick who's ill-ass rhymes would put your secret santa banta to shame. . .fo shizzle. . .

 

[feisty11975]

this thread gets better and better



maybe I shouldn't have said that. HH's head is big enough

 

[bigmann245]

this thread gets better and better



maybe I shouldn't have said that. HH's head is big enough

thank you very much for the k. im so k poor right now its not funny.

 

[habitualhealth]

. . .or anyone else's for that matter. . .see. . .my hair might be black, but my roots are definitely blond. . .tee hee.

fyi. . .lady sovereign is a young, white british rapper chick who's ill-ass rhymes would put your secret santa banta to shame. . .fo shizzle. . .

when you're the funniest person on the board...it's hard to dumb down to get the jokes of EVERYONE around me.


i don't expect you to understand.



besides, you're not funny.

 

[H_T_]

fucking lmao @ 30 something! anyone wanna play Old Maid? how bout we go for a Spinster?

 

[digimon7068]

when you're the funniest person on the board...it's hard to dumb down to get the jokes of EVERYONE around me.


i don't expect you to understand.



besides, you're not funny.

yes i am. . .you're laughing at my pm right now

 

[habitualhealth]

fucking lmao @ 30 something!

yeah me too!



do i really look that old or is just cuz i'm so incredibly intelligent, quick witted, and wide...i mean wise?

 

[H_T_]

yeah me too!



do i really look that old or is just cuz i'm so incredibly intelligent, quick witted, and wide...i mean wise?

smile lines. don't tan so much. and do something about your hands. looks like you shuck corn all day. other than that, you're fine.

 

[digimon7068]

smile lines. don't tan so much. and do something about your hands. looks like you shuck corn all day. other than that, you're fine.

wtf?

 

[heatherrae]

ROFL...this thread is ho-licious

 

[H_T_]

wtf?

she looks like Sonny Liston from the wrist down.

 

[habitualhealth]

yes i am. . .you're laughing at my pm right now

that's because you sent me a picture of your little penis.

 

[DieselGunz]

here

 

[digimon7068]

that's because you sent me a picture of your little penis.

it's not little. . .that was just a picture of it taken from the hubble telescope. . .yeah. . .i'm more technologically advanced than you too

 

[habitualhealth]

smile lines. don't tan so much. and do something about your hands. looks like you shuck corn all day. other than that, you're fine.

maybe i do shuck corn all day.




ps-you said i was fine. you want me.

 

[H_T_]

maybe i do shuck corn all day.




ps-you said i was fine. you want me.

i meant fine like "yes, i guess we can eat at Sizzler again tonight."

 

[habitualhealth]

i meant fine like "yes, i guess we can eat at Sizzler again tonight."

can I get a steak AND the buffet?








sizzler has a buffet right?

 

[H_T_]

can I get a steak AND the buffet?








sizzler has a buffet right?

yeah, i could totally see you checking your make up in the sneeze guard.

 

[habitualhealth]

yeah, i could totally see you checking your make up in the sneeze guard.

oh you've got me pegged all wrong.

if i'm buffet chowin'...i'm in fat pants with hair back in a hat. i dont have time for touch ups.

 

[habitualhealth]

maybe I shouldn't have said that. HH's head is big enough

i dont like your attitude.

 

[feisty11975]

i dont like your attitude.

 

[jimi3times]

Lotta bad blood here! Who's the real Ho here? I mean who gets paid for it? And not paid in food. Cash for slash! Anyone?

 

[habitualhealth]

Lotta bad blood here! Who's the real Ho here? I mean who gets paid for it? And not paid in food. Cash for slash! Anyone?

ur speaking a different language homes.

 

[feisty11975]

Lotta bad blood here! Who's the real Ho here? I mean who gets paid for it? And not paid in food. Cash for slash! Anyone?

I hear that HabitualHealth girl makes pretty good money giving head. I don't know for certain but you could pm her and ask for her price list.

 

[jimi3times]

Sorry, im still screwed up from feisty's green dot thread! My brain hurts. But still a HO in my book of slang is a person who gives poon for cash? Am i wrong.

 

[habitualhealth]

I hear that HabitualHealth girl makes pretty good money giving head. I don't know for certain but you could pm her and ask for her price list.

or just call my pimp, fiesty....

 

[jimi3times]

Not that theres anything wrong with that!

 

[feisty11975]

or just call my pimp, fiesty....

hell yeah. Call me. I'll set it all up. Just let me know what kinda toys and other objects she needs to bring with her. Cash only!

 

[jimi3times]

Thats gotta be a great job! Pimp i mean. Just think you should as a good buisiness person make sure you put out high quality product and the only way to know for sure is try it for yourself. can i get an amen.

 

[feisty11975]

Thats gotta be a great job! Pimp i mean. Just think you should as a good buisiness person make sure you put out high quality product and the only way to know for sure is try it for yourself. can i get an amen.

Shes good to go. Stilleto told me so. Amen!!

 

[jimi3times]

i would like to referee you two in an oil match!

 

[jimi3times]

Gotta go ill be back in a little while but thanks for the education.

 

[habitualhealth]

Gotta go ill be back in a little while .

don't bother.




kthxbi

 

[chilidog0425]

i'm here, i'm queer (really i'm a queer wannabe homo in a lesbian's body)

 

[feisty11975]

don't bother.




kthxbi

hahahahahaahahahahaah

you are EVIL!!

 

[habitualhealth]

you are EVIL!!

i hope i get good presents for christmas

 

[ksharp01]

. . .or anyone else's for that matter. . .see. . .my hair might be black, but my roots are definitely blond. . .tee hee.

fyi. . .lady sovereign is a young, white british rapper chick who's ill-ass rhymes would put your secret santa banta to shame. . .fo shizzle. . .

oh I love that new song she has! So reminds me of me.
If you love me then thank you and if you don't then fuc* you! Love it!

 

[gotmilk]

I hear that HabitualHealth girl makes pretty good money giving head. I don't know for certain but you could pm her and ask for her price list.

She was rated as mediocre when it came to real "balling".

 

[habitualhealth]

She was rated as mediocre when it came to real "balling".

can we get back to talking about my heart melting poetry?



kthxurbi

 

[chilidog0425]

you wanna write me a poem about maps of hawaii?

 

[habitualhealth]

you wanna write me a poem about maps of hawaii?

id need to know more about you before i can start to woo you.

 

[jimi3times]

Hey, im back wtf was that dont bother crack about?

 

[chilidog0425]

id need to know more about you before i can start to woo you.

i'm tallish (6'3), 215-220, play beach volleyball and poker, and am a consulting engineer.

 

[jimi3times]

im hurt

 

[habitualhealth]

Hey, im back wtf was that dont bother crack about?

oh honey, you've got much to learn on here.

 

[jh1]

I thought this thread was going to be a letter to my wife, my ex-gf, and my other ex-gf.....

 

[jimi3times]

teach me!

 

[habitualhealth]

I thought this thread was going to be a letter to my wife, my ex-gf, and my other ex-gf.....

i'll write them all a poem for you.





ps-stop dating ho's. i'll bill you later.

 

[Jon79]

sup everyone?

 

[habitualhealth]

sup everyone?

my alcohol intake

 

[Spartacus]

yeah, you're glimmering...

that's as far as I got
hey peeps
just poking my head in to say hello and happy holidays

 

[jimi3times]

it depends on what she teaches me

 

[Raptorex]

lot of bad girls on this thread, Santa is gonna bring some coal.

 

[Spartacus]

lot of bad girls on this thread, Santa is gonna bring some coal.

'sup bro?
you here for the beer like I am?

 

[Raptorex]

'sup bro?
you here for the beer like I am?

you bet bro, in cases like this, I don't really pay attention to detail...just that there are some hot girls around.

 

[habitualhealth]

lot of bad girls on this thread, Santa is gonna bring some coal.

what are you bringing me?