Dear _________,

[Raina]

Dear Bits,
I know you aren't too fond of your new jacket but OMG it's adorable.

 

[nycgirl]

Dear Bits,
I know you aren't too fond of your new jacket but OMG it's adorable.

LOL. I got a jacket like that. Its a reddish brown.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Dear Bits,
I know you aren't too fond of your new jacket but OMG it's adorable.

 

[jack sparrow]

Dear contractors that built my house,

Were you guys fuckin high or what? I could have put up straighter walls with my eyes closed. Idiots.

Love
jack_schitt

 

[buffer1]

Dear Work,
Thank you for somehow seeing potential in me that even I didn’t see and pushing me into roles that I never would have thought I could handle. The constant praise is very motivating and it’s been more fun than usual around here lately as I’m challenged daily….yet still find time to fuck off online.

Dear Clif Bars,
God I missed you and am glad to have you back in my diet. Yeah for trying to put on weight again and getting to add you back into the mix. Heavenly.

Dear Brand New Computer,
I love you. lol You were worth waiting for. I battled with the old computer for almost 6 years at work and now you’ve come into my life and it’s grand. It’s so nice not to spend ¼ of my day dealing with a crashed system.

Dear Sodoku,
Thank you for existing and giving me yet another way to avoid getting any work done.

Dear sheet of ice that slid off the roof of my car and cut my forehead yesterday,
WTF? I was just trying to scrape the car and you went and wounded me. That wasn’t cool. Now I have a stupid mark on my head.

Dear Bikram Yoga,
You’ve helped change my focus and challenge both my mind and my body. All I want to do is keep up my practice and eventually teach other people because if I could impart this kind of peace onto others, that would be a blessing beyond words. Plus the flexibility I’ve gotten via my practice is amazing and fun….it’s even weired out my parents.

Dear Trikonasana/Triangle Pose,
Thank you for putting my left T3 rib back in place. I was starting to think after 3 times a week at the chiropractor for so long that it would never get better and alas, 2 weeks into training you fixed it and all that shoulder pain is gone.
http://www.bikramyoga.com/Yoga/BikramRajashreeTriangle09.jpg.jpg

Dear Bits,
You’re so damn cute but please stop jumping up on my vanity and stealing my MAC brushes. Also please stop jumping in the bathtub and stealing razors, soap, etc. You’re lucky you’re so adorable and sweet or I’d be inclined to punt you across the house for being so destructive.

Dear Gizmo,
You’re such a good boy. You have that extra “something” a dog needs to be competitive and you were worth every penny. Someday we’re going to wind up competing nationally in agility. I know that we will.

Dear Parents,
Thank you for finally seeing where I was coming from and giving me your full support. It’s been so nice to be “normal” with you again and spend so much time with you. I missed that so much for quite a while.

Love,
Raina

Dear Raina

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Dear Pay Day,

Thank you for bring my bank account out of a negative balance.

Dear Bill Collectors,

You have left me with very little play money for this month.

 

[EnderJE]

Dear Pay Day,

Thank you for bring my bank account out of a negative balance.

Dear Bill Collectors,

You have left me with very little play money for this month.

Dear QT,
Sell more stuff. Quit your bitching. You didn't think that the blow up dolls were free, did you? BTW, stop calling the fattie date line. You're spending more then you earn.

Love,
The Bill collectors.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Dear QT,
Sell more stuff. Quit your bitching. You didn't think that the blow up dolls were free, did you? BTW, stop calling the fattie date line. You're spending more then you earn.

Love,
The Bill collectors.

Dear Ender

Eat a dick.

Yours in hate,

SuperQT

 

[EnderJE]

Dear Ender

Eat a dick.

Yours in hate,

SuperQT

Dear QT,
Sorry about making you lose that competition. Sorry about making you lose the next one. Sorry about your declining bustline. Sorry about that guy because he's really after...oh wait. Those two haven't happened yet.

Love
God

 

[theoak01]

Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all you do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when you get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like you anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever.
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls.