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Culture of the Self and Forgiveness...

Would you forgive the dude who did CC fraud, would you forgive SO cheating?

  • I understand that in life wrong choices are made. I can forgive and move on.

    Votes: 6 37.5%
  • I can't forgive or forget, my trust is shot, but I wish them no ill will.

    Votes: 4 25.0%
  • I have been utterly violated, I find myself enraged, and I hope they burn in hell.

    Votes: 5 31.3%

  • Total voters
    16

-Ariel-

-Thandzilla-
Platinum
The three threads that made me ruminate while I couldn't sleep last night were the threads including the one about 8 felony counts, court in 4 days and asking EF for legal advice, another thread about being fucked over by a loved one and starting over, and finally WB's thread about self inquiry and honestly discerning whether you are actually making an effort to get past selfish tendencies of the ego/self and reach to others authentically. I know I try, but not near to the capacity that I could.

Both WB and I discerned that the culture that one is in plays a huge role in establishing what values that person stands on and uses to navigate their life. My research project is on the increasing trend of narcissism in this country due to the consumeristic culture that has evolved due to the complete marketization of the media and culture shaping industries. Specifically, only 7 transnational corporations, Bertellsman, AOL Time Warner, Sony, Disney, Viacom, Vivendi International, and News Corporation. They own 90% of all media: movies, tv, radio, music, magazines, books, newspapers, and internet. These private companies are hemmoraged in debt and exist for the sole purpose of making a profit. The most effective method is establishing the story that personal identity is derived not from the principles one holds, but the products they consume. I am such a sucker, I bought a 17 inch mac book, why because it stands for creativity and non conformism, just like I do, I own a Jetta, why because it represents anti materialism just like me. Through imagery and narration, one's identity is defined not through values like integrity, the people they love, and good will but by product selection. In coherence with the capitalistic imperative that this country flourished under of obtain as much as possible for the self at the lowest cost regardless of consequence. A cultural narrative in which we understand ourselves as subject/self and others as object/not self. However as children and teens develop under this devolving culture the relation is quickly regressing to subject/self and object/it.

There are so many detrimental effects due to the intertwining of media marketization of culture shaping industry and capitalistic culture that are confining our self understanding based more and more on narrated images, fabricated stories, and a constructed self that you buy already packaged with no assembly required from nordstroms, sharper image, or wal mart. Since the dominant social institutions determining culture, and what is culture but the collective power to define reality, are private conglomerations, the social imperative for the individual is to obtain as much as possible at the expense of others so they can live a happy meaningful life. This ideology leads to the problematic nature we are entrenched in with so much misunderstanding at every level, continuous conflict with others, elevating anxiety levels, alienation, meanness, conditioned dullness, a lack of empathy, and since our minds are filled up with all these thoughts trying to protect ourselves, while also continuously trying to distract our way into happiness, a quiet mind is almost impossible... there fore cutting us off from our birthright of creativity, spontanaeity, and love.

Moreover, the conditioning rhythm or 'music' that dances into our veins and establishes patterns of a constructed self in which one's self perception and perception of others is based on what purchases they make. An obfuscating type of individualism in which one's ego drives one to seek security and pleasure at all costs. It is fake individualism because while we have more choices than any other generation of history, it is only surface choice, behind every choice is the same logic or logos operating of identity through consumption. Competition, violence, a constant need to be entertained form the backgrounds of our minds and yet it does not fulfill us spiritually and we long to transcend these bonds through communites like here at EF.
It is my prediction that the momentum that is constantly accumulating through time and constraining culture more and more will finally give way to a new system that does not establish the story of identity in order to sell commodities, but it will only get much worse before it gets better.

One of the most problematic facets in culture is a lack of meaning that many people feel... and what is meaning, but interconnection, it is not function or how much you bring home, but interconnection and forming relationships. The manufactured identities that are consumed don't provide meaning and outside of consumerism, many people find it hard to connect with others because all they know is consumption.

All of us have been fucked over before somehow, how can one not live today and not be fucked over. Some much worse than others.

Returning to the beginning if you were one of the credit card victims, or if a loved one had cheated on you, would you have the emotional capacity to forgive them?

Do you believe people in these dark times where each of us are conditioned on so many levels through the repeated stories of the self, that we can change our nature or patterns of the mind?

Through forgiveness, we let go of the hate, anger, and poison that was put in us, however it is no easy feat... I believe that one has to have a strong foundation in family, or self, or faith in the eternal law of the universe in order to transcend the desire to obliterate those who have done you harm.
By letting go we are able to create a tranquil inner which allows our creativity, appreciation for life, and love to expand outer.
 
great post man, you touch on a lot of important topics here that I feel are common to ALL people.

I think the individual is best served as well as the community when we radiate love and forgiveness. Treat others just as you would like to be treated. We all know no one is perfect and makes mistakes, so why do we expect others to be perfect so often?
 
Lestat said:
great post man, you touch on a lot of important topics here that I feel are common to ALL people.

I think the individual is best served as well as the community when we radiate love and forgiveness. Treat others just as you would like to be treated. We all know no one is perfect and makes mistakes, so why do we expect others to be perfect so often?
thanks lestat... I dig that you posted, I couldn't agree with you any more, I've been ruminating on my relationship patterns and the patterns of C&C and just men and women in general and I think one way society has clearly thrown social evolution out the door is that we place an emphasis too much on the male voice of objective presence, facts, logic, reason... you need this obviously to guide you in life... however the female voice of subjectivity, which revolves around interpretation, interaction, warmth, companionship, our current form of science, education, business structure does claims is worthless because it has no meaning... no observable cause and effect obsevable results... for example we can't see feelings... so as a result of just of having our social structures guided more by objective, male, type logic... there is a disconnect with feeling and we don't realize that people don't err in logic when they hurt others... they lack interconnection, feelings, empathy, self control...
yesterday SS, Smurfy, Stiletto were the predominant female voices pulling double duty due to some being MIA, and I realized that wow, its really the female voice that is the music of this forum, while us dudes provide more information type knowledge and humor, its the female voice that really stimulates communal interaction, warmth, and goodwill... so, I the rather long way of answering your post Lestat is that we have gone wrong in putting to much emphasis on logic and not enough on interpretation and feeling.
 
I will Read this later Sir:)

THANKYOU for taking the time to Thoughtfully Share with us:)
 
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