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Children = happiness
- Thread starter anthrax
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G
Gambino
Guest
having children would make me pissed and anti-happy
J
jenscats5
Guest
anthrax said:
Absolutely not.......... I have not had, nor do I have and nor will I ever have any desire to have children.....I don't need to feel complete as a woman/person in having kids, etc, etc etc......
needtogetaas
New member
yes.
I am happy I had a child, and yes she makes me happy - but she is not the REASON for my happiness. To think that would be akin to thinking "marriage will make me happy". BS.
Having children does not complete you - it should enhance an already happy existance. If you are not already happy - then having a child will only make things worse.
Having children does not complete you - it should enhance an already happy existance. If you are not already happy - then having a child will only make things worse.
needtogetaas
New member
my grandma used to say.children should be seen and not herd.I fucken hated that.
foreigngirl
New member
Daisy_Girl said:
I completely agree Daisy. If your relationship/marriage is unhappy, having a child will not make it better. Ever. You need to be happy with your life so you can surround that child with positive energy only. Its a big responsibility taking care of your offspring.
Me, before I got prego, I was always saying that I never want to have a child. Having one would mean me not being able to go anywhere, do anything whenever I want. Having a child would be to me at that time me having a ball and chain 24/7 and always pulling me back from succeding in the proffessional world.
But, accidents happen. And seing my husband how good of a father he is, brought us even closer.
HumorMe said:
Agreed.
Can't wait to have some little childrens of my own.
I used to be scared to death of having kids. Even though I love my sisters and brothers kids. I passed up the chance to have them before and now sometimes I wish I had taken that chance.I think now that my life would be more complete and have more direction had I had kids. Someday.
Bikini Mod
New member
If you think having a child will make you happy - DONT HAVE ONE.
I had children because I honestly believed that I had so much to give and teach. Meanwhile I realized shortly after I had my last one (my oldest had already grown into a little human and not just a noisy smelly lump with arms and legs at that point) that I was afforded the privilige of motherhood because I HAD THAT MUCH TO LEARN.
My children have been my greatest teachers and I feel blessed every day that I have been afforded the privilige and happy responsibility of being their mother.
I strive daily to EARN their trust, respect and love and TRY my best to be the type of mother that they deserve.
The old black and white movie "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner" with Kathryn Hepburn, Spencer Tracy and Sidney Poitier have most profoundly influenced my views on parenting, moreso I dare say than the (often times lacking) example set forth by my own parents.
I truly believe that any one considering having children would greatly benefit from watching it. It's message is simple yet quite poignant on so many levels.
Parents do not make the child. I truly believe that if one is very lucky, they will allow their children to actually "raise them" and influence them in ways that are so profound, they never could have forseen it.
Just my .02
I had children because I honestly believed that I had so much to give and teach. Meanwhile I realized shortly after I had my last one (my oldest had already grown into a little human and not just a noisy smelly lump with arms and legs at that point) that I was afforded the privilige of motherhood because I HAD THAT MUCH TO LEARN.
My children have been my greatest teachers and I feel blessed every day that I have been afforded the privilige and happy responsibility of being their mother.
I strive daily to EARN their trust, respect and love and TRY my best to be the type of mother that they deserve.
The old black and white movie "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner" with Kathryn Hepburn, Spencer Tracy and Sidney Poitier have most profoundly influenced my views on parenting, moreso I dare say than the (often times lacking) example set forth by my own parents.
I truly believe that any one considering having children would greatly benefit from watching it. It's message is simple yet quite poignant on so many levels.
Parents do not make the child. I truly believe that if one is very lucky, they will allow their children to actually "raise them" and influence them in ways that are so profound, they never could have forseen it.
Just my .02
Ok, As a Mom of 5 I thought I would chime in on this one.
When I was younger I was the woman that said in the resturant if you sit me next to kids you don't get a tip. I didn't like them and didn't want them.
Now, here I sit with 5 of the most beautiful children sleeping upstairs. What changed my mind? Not sure if it was the great relationship I have with my husband or just settling down a bit and the timing seemed right.
(btw, yes, we know what causes that...Yes, we know what BC is....No, we are not Catholic...NO, we don't have lot's of money etc...)
Did it make us happier? Yes, We have a great family and we have lots of fun. Is it hard and sometimes stressful? Yes, it is an awesome responsibility to bring a child into this world knowing that you are fully responsible for their lives until they are grown (and sometimes even then).
I have many days that I want to be selfish and do what I want to do but can't because their needs come before my own. I'll have plenty of time when they are grown to do what I want to do again.
I look at it this way. I will only have my children living with me for about 1/3 of their lives. After that they will be busy with their life. How often do you really get to send time with your parents anymore even though you love them? I try to impact their lives as much as possible now.
Just food for thought. I do agree it will not make a bad situtation better only worse.
Have a good night,
Momof5
Luke 12, Cody 11, Alora 8, Trinity 5, Shana 1.7
When I was younger I was the woman that said in the resturant if you sit me next to kids you don't get a tip. I didn't like them and didn't want them.
Now, here I sit with 5 of the most beautiful children sleeping upstairs. What changed my mind? Not sure if it was the great relationship I have with my husband or just settling down a bit and the timing seemed right.
(btw, yes, we know what causes that...Yes, we know what BC is....No, we are not Catholic...NO, we don't have lot's of money etc...)
Did it make us happier? Yes, We have a great family and we have lots of fun. Is it hard and sometimes stressful? Yes, it is an awesome responsibility to bring a child into this world knowing that you are fully responsible for their lives until they are grown (and sometimes even then).
I have many days that I want to be selfish and do what I want to do but can't because their needs come before my own. I'll have plenty of time when they are grown to do what I want to do again.
I look at it this way. I will only have my children living with me for about 1/3 of their lives. After that they will be busy with their life. How often do you really get to send time with your parents anymore even though you love them? I try to impact their lives as much as possible now.
Just food for thought. I do agree it will not make a bad situtation better only worse.
Have a good night,
Momof5
Luke 12, Cody 11, Alora 8, Trinity 5, Shana 1.7
GoldenDelicious
New member
why, so they can keep you company?spongebob said:
Lady Viking
Well-known member
well said, i agreeDaisy_Girl said:
Excellent post.BIKINIMOM said:
Having kids can fill you with pride & joy that you never knew existed.
But, some people do not have the requisite patience & attitude. It's better not to have, in that case, than to have kids & resent them.
Having kids is a learning experience as much as a teaching experience.
Last edited:
Bikini Mod
New member
Mr. dB said:
It has been quite a few years since I saw the film but I distinctly remember it was black and white... but then again, it has been a number of years.
Perhaps you are correct. Doesnt change the message of the film, though... does it?
And momof5 - I have four girls myself. I actually had to take fertility drugs to have the first 3 and worked VERY HARD to conceive the last. I wanted my girls THAT badly.
I still remember the first time I chided my oldest far too harshly. She was only about 4/5 or so. I took care of them virtually by myself and our household and our business, etc. I was overwrought and the child had done *whatever*. I said some things I should never have. I was immediately overcome with guilt and sadness. How could I have done such a thing? So I sat there and cried and gave the child a well-thought out and sincere apology, explained to her that though she was ill-behaved what mami said to her was wholely unacceptable, how sorry I was, and that it would NEVER happen again. Before I could get to the "s" after the words "I am" the child touched my arm and said, "That's ok mami. I know you didn't mean it."
I will NEVER forget that moment as long as I live.
And there are so many more moments when my children have brought me life lessons that I never thought I didn't know...
anthrax said:
Having children 'to' make you happy is wrong! I didn't have my children thinking that magically my life would be 10x's better.
Then of course I was raising children at a very young age and I knew the responsibility that came with them.
On the other hand, Now that I do have Children they do make me Happy!
Kids come out into this world as REAL people. They are not pets, or something to have to make yourself feel good or happy or whatever. Yes they make you happy, but that's just the side effect. I had mine because there is an insatiable desire inside to give someone a better start than I had. I have three that were born to me, and one I adopted because the parents thought it would be "fun" to have a kid and then ran scared when she was hard work. That after they moved her from home to home and pawned her off on other family members forever. Now she's only been in our family less than a year but I have a hell of a job helping a seven year old understand why her mom let her go - at least dad calls, and he's stuck in prison. No kid should go through that. Of course I'm glad she didn't stay with them as they are because she used to rarely talk and walked on eggshells trying to be perfect. Way too much pressure for a kid. Now she can be a real kid and have lousy attitudes and still be loved. She loves it here, but her poor little heart is broken and I just wish they wouln't have play with a life like that. Damn I hate when people don't take care of their kids. All you selfish jerks out there, please use condoms.
Having children can bring joy in many aspects, but having them for the sake of thinking that they will improve your already unhappy life is not a reason to have them.
Having children is tough, wonderful, and bittersweet. It will change your life completely, but you'll never have any regrets.
Having children is tough, wonderful, and bittersweet. It will change your life completely, but you'll never have any regrets.
Excellent post. I have a cousin who is an absolute saint. She has 2 kids of her own, plus she adopted her brother's F.A.S. daughter & adopted 2 other challenged kids, to get them out of the system. She is a wonderful loving person that works in child care for the Region & sees the effects of kids who are not wanted, and/or treated badly.ironbabe said:
Children are our future. Be careful what kind you create.
I believe the children are our are futureHiDnGoD said:
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me
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