Cheer me up please...

[Rachel...lol]

You guys know how things work for me... I like somebody or something, I get super excited - things fall apart.
Before Christmas I was flown to Indy by Crowe Horwath to interview for a new Sales Associate position for their Healthcare Professional Services arm - I interviewed with 4 people back to back, all the way up to the Partner for that division. I thought things went great. I received super feedback from the HR recruiter and they said they'd be in contact after the Holidays. My first email a couple weeks ago was that they were finishing up interviews and would be in contact with next steps. Then it was they were finishing up interviews and would have a decision shortly... then Friday I received the email that I wasn't selected... 6 weeks worth of angst.

To make matters worse, things with Nate have gone totally down the tubes. I started getting on him a little bit because I was the only one putting in any effort - he hasn't driven to MI since the first weekend in October, and I've driven there almost every other single weekend; and I was the one always initiating phone calls/texts etc. So about a week ago I get the... "I told you I wanted to move slow and maybe I don't feel the same way as you do right now" and that he wasn't ready for these "expectations" for lack of better words... and that I needed to give him space. Okay fine. So then Friday afternoon I get the rejection letter from Crowe, and I emailed it to him and I got a quick email back that he's sorry and he had good feelings about it. In the meantime, I'm just devastated... in my head I was going to get this job and move to Indy and I was just ready for a change. So I'm crying all day - I'm not texting him and not calling him because he needs space, and then finally he calls around 9pm and by this time I was so worked up and disappointed that he didn't care to call earlier and make sure I was okay - that of course I had to say something that expressed my disappointment that he waited that long to call... he got super super upset, basically hung up on me...

Yesterday he didn't answer my phone call, didn't respond to any text messages. First day since we've met that we haven't talked at all. So now I'm thinking - I have no control whether or not I even get to talk to him again? All this time and emotion and all that driving and all those weekends... ? I feel like I deserve at least a conversation saying that things aren't going to work out right now? Would he really just totally stop talking to me? I'm hoping he's just exercising the "I need space" and time to think... and I'm trying to do that...

I'm just bummed.

 

[dutchman063]

Sorry to hear..I can sympathize on the job thing..I've been going through the same crap the last year and a half, lots of false hope and empty promises thrown my way.. extremely discouraging

 

[uamaverick]

Sorry you're going through a tough time. I know you felt really different about this guy, but it's time to let it go. You should try to focus more on yourself for a little while. I think it's very commendable that you were willing to drive the 270-something(?) miles to go see him every weekend, not many girls I know would do that, but that just creates such a huge strain, especially when he's not reciprocating. Last night I drove about 100 miles total to go see a girl, and I really wouldn't expect her to do the same anytime soon, because in my mind that's just what the guy is supposed to do.

Being a well-balanced person is probably the most difficult thing to achieve in life, and it's hard to balance professional and personal lives. I think that once you find a better job, and you will, that it might be a lot easier to find somebody who is a bit more stable and drama-free. Men shouldn't come with drama, but it's a reality that many do, and judging from some of the other things you have said about him, this guy builds a lot of drama for no reason. It's not good for your psyche.

Disclaimer: anybody who says I'm white-knighting can kindly STFU

 

[nangiggles]

Oh Rach , just be patient to see if he calls,under NO circumstances should you call him, text or email him

 

[-SD-]

1. Companies put job candidates through lengthy interview processes all the time and will string everyone along till the end in case the one they hired backs out for some reason and they have to go to the next one in line for the job. So get used to it but yea it still sucks.
2. Long distance is for shit and will never work, i told you someone would get tired of driving. So dont do that again but yea it still sucks to break up.

 

[Rachel...lol]

Oh Rach , just be patient to see if he calls,under NO circumstances should you call him, text or email him

I know It's that whole... if he cares he'll come back on his own or whatever BS. Just the idea that if he doesn't at all? It seems so so disrespectful?

 

[the.gladiator1987]

rach... sry girl but this guy doesnt wanna waste ur time so move on, seriously. Thats too long of a drive. I know something will work out but sounds like ur tryin to hard, i mean u got mad at him for not calling u earlier? I know things arent working out but that will jus push him away farther ya know. But ur a hot sexy girl dont worry about him, hes jus drama anyway and it would be better to deal with drama thats in the same city rather than drive 27 miles to go see drama..

What else can you do with ur degree? Set some short term goals and get them. Be specific about your goals and you will be more likely to achieve them. Its one thing to say "save money" and another to say "save $250 every week and put it into your savings account"

And theres no way you could jus have a short convo with him, it would end up being a long convo and ud end up wanting to talk longer, wanna have him drive up there, etc. Sounds like u can find a better guy and that u deserve a better guy rach.

 

[Rachel...lol]

1. Companies put job candidates through lengthy interview processes all the time and will string everyone along till the end in case the one they hired backs out for some reason and they have to go to the next one in line for the job. So get used to it but yea it still sucks.
2. Long distance is for shit and will never work, i told you someone would get tired of driving. So dont do that again but yea it still sucks to break up.

It's not even that I minded the driving? It's the idea that I was the only one that seemed to care.

 

[the.gladiator1987]

Id meet up with u to cheer u up. Wouldnt want anything sechually either, id jus hear u out, buy u clothes, and make u laugh

 

[the.gladiator1987]

It's not even that I minded the driving? It's the idea that I was the only one that seemed to care.

Well when it seems like ur the only one who cares, then get away from it!

YOU ARE NOT going to change his mind and make him care by getting mad at him, calling/texting him more, etc.

If he says he wants space, give him space but dont wait. Give him space by doing what you want and focusing on you, thats too stressful to wait on him and think about you guys when he wants space. un-needed stress rach