cheated on wife. got herpes. wtf do i do?

[gsxr]

This is so fucked up!

I just cheated on my wife of eight years. It only happened once and wasn't planned. A few days after this drunken encounter, my dick turns red and tingly, then it started burning. The doctor confirmed it is herpes. I am feeling tremendous guilt and shame. I am taking "valtrex" to help with the symptoms, but they are still pretty painful.

I don't want to give this to my wife. I have a good chance of infecting my wife, even if no symptoms are visible. She won't wear condoms. So I've been trying everything imaginable to get out of sex (faked food poisoning, etc). I can't keep this up.

I want to tell her I have herpes, but I don't want her to know I cheated on her. It will devistate her and I'm pretty sure she will leave me.

Is there any BELIEVABLE way to tell her I got herpes without having cheated on her?

 

[Zerxes]

As much as I think that you got what you deserved for cheating on your wife(definitely NOT cool man), I will spare you the lecture and give you some facts. You could've(maybe not in your case, but in certain cases)had Herpes for YEARS without any symptoms ever arising. The symptoms don't always come after initial contact, & sometimes NEVER come. Other times, the symptoms show up years later due to a stressfull situation, or some sort of trauma in ones life. That is a fact that even your Doc will tell you, and you could use it to tell your wife that just because you have Herpes, doesn't mean you cheated on her. If you have no active lesions, then you can't give it to anyone, despite what your Doctor says. Thats like saying that you caught a Cold Sore from someone w/o a sore on their mouth. In other words, the lesions have to be there for the virus to be spread. The Docs only tell you that you could still give Herpes to her because they want to protect themselves from any liability should you give the clap to her, when he/she(the Doc) told you that you couldn't. Get it? You should be fine after you finish the Valcyclovir and the lesions are COMPLETELY gone. Stall her until then, and for fucks sake keep the weasel sedated from now on!!!!!!!

 

[Dr.M]

Will she believe though that it was dormant for years, she may confront you on it, and if you flinch...

 

[gsxr]

I agree with you. I am scum for cheating on my wife. Now I have an incurable STD. I am barely able to cope with the guilt and shame.

I can still pass it to her without symptoms. Herpes sheds at prodrome, during outbreaks, during healing periods after outbreaks, but also at random times where there are no noticeable symptoms at all. This is called asymptomatic shedding and is considered to be responsible for most cases of transmission.

I don't think she will believe that I got it from before our relationship. We've been together for over eight years and I was only with one other person before her. She knows that I practiced safe sex with that person.

Once I get through this outbreak, I won't be in the clear. I will have recurrences. The average number of outbreaks is five per year. Won't she wonder why I never had this problem before?

She is going to figure out something. She is in a medical profession, so she will be hard to fool. Any advice on how to tell her what is up with my dick without her leaving me?

 

[Zerxes]

I agree with you. I am scum for cheating on my wife. Now I have an incurable STD. I am barely able to cope with the guilt and shame.

I can still pass it to her without symptoms. Herpes sheds at prodrome, during outbreaks, during healing periods after outbreaks, but also at random times where there are no noticeable symptoms at all. This is called asymptomatic shedding and is considered to be responsible for most cases of transmission.

I don't think she will believe that I got it from before our relationship. We've been together for over eight years and I was only with one other person before her. She knows that I practiced safe sex with that person.

Once I get through this outbreak, I won't be in the clear. I will have recurrences. The average number of outbreaks is five per year. Won't she wonder why I never had this problem before?

She is going to figure out something. She is in a medical profession, so she will be hard to fool. Any advice on how to tell her what is up with my dick without her leaving me?

Well if you wanna be all doomy & gloomy about it....BTW, not all people who get it have recurrences, so you just might get lucky, if you're lucky. Sounds like you might have to bite the bullett on this one though since she is in the Medical profession.. Either that or take the risk of giving it to her. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky & find out she was cheating on you as well, & then you can blame the whole thing on her. jk

 

[littleswoll]

Have you had sex with her since you banged the other girl? If so she might already have it. You're in a tough situation, I really don't know what I would do, I'd proably find the bitch who gave it to you and choke her to death. Good luck in whatever you decide.

SWOLL

 

[tripleV]

you gotta come clean with her, tell her the truth, it will be definitely tought but you must do it, she deserves to know the truth, you betrayed her trust, you disrespected her, now u must bite the bullet and deal with the consequences, there is NO way u cant tell her about the Herpes....i have a cousin whose cheating husband got herpes and didnt tell her, the way she found out was bc she got it!!! AND she had to have a C section for their baby bc she could have passed it to the baby as she was broken out...sad and shitty.....but theres no way around it this time buddy....

 

[Calypso]

telling the truth does no good, you better lie

 

[grlpwrd]

I have to be blunt..You got what you deserve for being unfaithful, but don't punish her for it because herpes is a life sentence. Tell her the truth!

 

[gsxr]

Have you had sex with her since you banged the other girl? If so she might already have it.

I did have sex with her the day after this encounter. I did not have any symptoms of the herpes yet and had no idea that I had anything. I have not had sex with her since. I hope I haven't already given it to her.

I am going to tell her about the herpes. She needs to know what I've got. I just can't decide what way to tell her. I know a few women have said to be 100% honest, but I would really like to leave banging the sleezy ho out of the "i got herpes" story.

I just want to tell her that I have herpes in the gentlest, least likely to fuck up our marriage sort of way. I don't want to lose my wife and I want her to know I have this virus. Any ideas on what to say?