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Being cheated on
- Thread starter bambam
- Start date
DON'T STAY!!! You may love her, but if she loved you she would'nt have done it. You can try to rationalize it in tons of ways. You may even think she had a reason, but when it comes down to it she does not love you. SO FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES! btw... I'm sorry to hear that man, I know it hurts and leaving is gonna hurt worse for a while. You gotta do it though.
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Frackal
Guest
Do not stay my friend, there is honestly rarely any chance of things working out after this and you will be resigning yourself to much misery and future events similiar to this if you stay. I suspect you are in a lot of pain at this time and are very vulnerable and it is easy to let people sway you but do not allow it, be brave and leave the bitch behind. Please feel free to Email me if you need to talk, I have been through a similiar situation. Peace.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
Yea Fracks been through this shit and helped me...i went through it 4 months ago. Three years, and without warning cheated on. No matter how tuff it is, it can never be the same my friend. Try and swallow the bitter pill and walk away.
In all likely hood she does not deserve you...but just think...can you ever look her in the eyes again, could it ever be as it was before...Cheaters are gutless people imop, and she was just showing her true colors.
pm me or email me, if its ever eating you up
goodluck
In all likely hood she does not deserve you...but just think...can you ever look her in the eyes again, could it ever be as it was before...Cheaters are gutless people imop, and she was just showing her true colors.
pm me or email me, if its ever eating you up
goodluck
fidelity is a lost artform... i am truly sorry to hear that... but if she cheated on oyu then she will likely do so again... no need to point blame here... maybe it's just not meant to be... but man if you love her unconditionally i know it is gonna hurt you man... but maybe it wasn't meant to be
bunnymt
New member
You are wrong
I have to personally attest that the old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater" is FALSE. It IS possible to go through something like that and remain together, trust me, I know. It takes a big man to forgive a woman for cheating on him because the easy thing to do is to end things and move on. Deciding to stick together is an uphill battle, though. It is not easy.
If you love this girl, you can at least try and work things out. Who knows, you may see that you cannot move past it and work things out...THEN you part ways. At least try.
Cheating is an awful, terrible thing. It is hard on both people. But you two CAN move past it, if it is a mutual desire.
Is she sorry and repentful for what she did? You have to look at how she is acting and reacting.
Honestly, take care.
bunny
I have to personally attest that the old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater" is FALSE. It IS possible to go through something like that and remain together, trust me, I know. It takes a big man to forgive a woman for cheating on him because the easy thing to do is to end things and move on. Deciding to stick together is an uphill battle, though. It is not easy.
If you love this girl, you can at least try and work things out. Who knows, you may see that you cannot move past it and work things out...THEN you part ways. At least try.
Cheating is an awful, terrible thing. It is hard on both people. But you two CAN move past it, if it is a mutual desire.
Is she sorry and repentful for what she did? You have to look at how she is acting and reacting.
Honestly, take care.
bunny
F
Frackal
Guest
BULLSHIT!!!!!!! 
PS - The above comment was only directed at you bunnymt if you were the one who cheated, if it was the vice/versa, than I apologize and wish you luck but my sentiments remain the same regarding your philosophy...only in extremely rare circumstances is cheating forgivable.
PS - The above comment was only directed at you bunnymt if you were the one who cheated, if it was the vice/versa, than I apologize and wish you luck but my sentiments remain the same regarding your philosophy...only in extremely rare circumstances is cheating forgivable.
VicTusDeuS
New member
I agree. It depends on the circumstance and how one was cheated on. Some may consider flirting cheat when really it isnt. If it was sex then yeah its cheating but there are tons of different factors. If she is truely sorry than stay with her. Besides, thats always leverage in an argument and you'll have the upper hand...
Re: Re: Being cheated on
think about it for a long time. dont go straight into it. if she cares about you she will respect the fact you need to think about it. making a brash descision now may be one you regret. personally i wouldnt stay with her, unless there were mitigating circumstances (someone took advantage of her etc).
i believe there is a US tv show called 'cheaters'.....manny78 said:
think about it for a long time. dont go straight into it. if she cares about you she will respect the fact you need to think about it. making a brash descision now may be one you regret. personally i wouldnt stay with her, unless there were mitigating circumstances (someone took advantage of her etc).
thebabydoc
New member
Were you "on a break"?
Go out with a couple of prostitutes, come back and give her syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea (try to avoid the herpes and the AIDS as these are really untreatable) then take your meds and dump her. If you're going to cheat on someone and if you really care for them, you should split up first.
Go out with a couple of prostitutes, come back and give her syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea (try to avoid the herpes and the AIDS as these are really untreatable) then take your meds and dump her. If you're going to cheat on someone and if you really care for them, you should split up first.
1
1911
Guest
No way I would stay, never. Work it out? Screw that, I would rather live and die alone than let someone do that shit to me. I'm sure life sucks right now but you will overcome those feelings. I couldn't even look at some chic if she did that to me without wanting to tear her head off. I would expect a lady to feel the same way about me if I were the culprit. Run like Hell man.
I totally feel your pain on this one, I had a girlfriend of two years, we were engaged for the last 6 months of it... I suspected her cheating, and confronted her on it.. Every time, she would cry and say I didn't trust her. I found out it was true, and showed her the proof... I had her class ring, so I gave it back, saying I didn't want it anymore... she asked if I wanted the engagement ring back, and I said "yes." Again, for some reason, it was HER that was crying the whole time. She was the one that cheated, damn it! I realized that I could never trust her again, nothing she could ever do or say could make me trust her like I once had.
Pretty much for the next year and a half, I hated her like my worst enemy, and let her know it. She ended up going to my college, and we eventually started talking again. Now, two years after this all went down, I talk to her almost every day, and we go out a lot, like to bars or a movie, or just to eat. Basically, I realized that I had lost a really good friend that was easy to talk to, the only one I had ever had like that. We aren't seeing eachother or anything, I would never allow that, I honestly don't know if I could ever go through that again, it really fucked me up mentally. I just remain very good friends with her, and if I ever feel anything more for her, I just remind myself of what she did, and how bad it hurt.
The saying holds true "you can forgive someone if you really want to, but there is no way you can ever forget what they did..."
Pretty much for the next year and a half, I hated her like my worst enemy, and let her know it. She ended up going to my college, and we eventually started talking again. Now, two years after this all went down, I talk to her almost every day, and we go out a lot, like to bars or a movie, or just to eat. Basically, I realized that I had lost a really good friend that was easy to talk to, the only one I had ever had like that. We aren't seeing eachother or anything, I would never allow that, I honestly don't know if I could ever go through that again, it really fucked me up mentally. I just remain very good friends with her, and if I ever feel anything more for her, I just remind myself of what she did, and how bad it hurt.
The saying holds true "you can forgive someone if you really want to, but there is no way you can ever forget what they did..."
jennifer BFL chick
New member
What's your definition of cheating by the way........
Noticed your in Salt Lake City......that's where I live too
Noticed your in Salt Lake City......that's where I live too
##spiderbaby##
New member
I have never hit a woman/girl ever, but who here wouldnt mind catching them out and beating the absolute shit out of the guy then turning and doing the same to her. I guess its another one of those daydream fantasy's. Broken limbs and stuff. Its been a while since I broke anyones limbs.
Can you tell I have just come out of a shitball relationship?
hehe
Even though I had no physical proof and she denied everything there were just way to many things that did not add up.
Let her go bro.
##spiderbaby##
Can you tell I have just come out of a shitball relationship?
heheEven though I had no physical proof and she denied everything there were just way to many things that did not add up.
Let her go bro.
##spiderbaby##
Lord_Suston
New member
VicTusDeuS said:
Who wants leverage when they rip your heart out from behind, there are no reasons to justify cheating, either you respect the person or don't. I only consider rape a legitimit excuse. How can you stay with a person who doesn't have enough respect for you to even break up with you, before they f*ck someone else. You'll never get the image out of your head as long as you are around them and then you can never really trust them. It will never be the same, EVER..............
toga22
SideShow Freak
In any long lasting relationship, communcation is always the most important factor. So, in my opionion, if one person is on the "prowl", the lines of communication were already broken. It is very hard to have any kind of relationship with someone that you do not trust or respect.
For me, it was the hardest to overcome the fact that not only did my partner violate our relationship on a physically/sexual level, but the fact that he had been dishonest and deceiving. The idea that he did not have enough trust or respect in me or in our relationship to try and work out, what must have been some degree of unhappiness for him in the relationship.
My suggestion to you is that, whether or not you want to stay with this person, that you take some time to get your emotions in check. Take the time that you need now to get over the inital shock, and wait until you are total able to fully comprehend your feelings before communicating your decision to the other person. Revenge and retaliation are a part of our nature, and may sound very sweet at the moment. But hold off, this person has all ready taken enough away from you.....don't give up your good judgement and true character as well.
Best of luck to you!! Keep your chin up!!
~toga
For me, it was the hardest to overcome the fact that not only did my partner violate our relationship on a physically/sexual level, but the fact that he had been dishonest and deceiving. The idea that he did not have enough trust or respect in me or in our relationship to try and work out, what must have been some degree of unhappiness for him in the relationship.
My suggestion to you is that, whether or not you want to stay with this person, that you take some time to get your emotions in check. Take the time that you need now to get over the inital shock, and wait until you are total able to fully comprehend your feelings before communicating your decision to the other person. Revenge and retaliation are a part of our nature, and may sound very sweet at the moment. But hold off, this person has all ready taken enough away from you.....don't give up your good judgement and true character as well.
Best of luck to you!! Keep your chin up!!
~toga
Testoterone Tom
New member
Hey, my man, sorry to hear about it, it happened to me and it hurts a lot. Just know and realize that you are going to have to be the big man, forgive her and LET HER GO. For the sake of your dignity and self respect, do it, and don't look back. She may love you, but you are not what she wants. Let go and YOU STICK TO YOUR ROUTINE. Just do it without her. Cry when you feel like crying, get it all out. DON'T wear your friends out with it, though. They want to be there for you, just do it in small incraments. Focus on you. NO DRINKING. NO DRUGS. Be tough, you'll adjust.
YOU WILL ADJUST. And don't date for a least 6 months. Heal first.
Then get back to trying to find some companionship. Don't try to find a serious relationship at a bar. Do what I've said, and if you've had GOD. Now would be a great time to start going back to church and getting tight with your family. Don't even talk about her. Heal and don't be bitter. If you are, you'll mess up every attempt at a relationship that follows.
Hope this helps man, good luck.
YOU WILL ADJUST. And don't date for a least 6 months. Heal first.
Then get back to trying to find some companionship. Don't try to find a serious relationship at a bar. Do what I've said, and if you've had GOD. Now would be a great time to start going back to church and getting tight with your family. Don't even talk about her. Heal and don't be bitter. If you are, you'll mess up every attempt at a relationship that follows.
Hope this helps man, good luck.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
Testoterone Tom said:
very wise words
Sorry to hear about your gf...I know how hard it is to be in that situation. 
My advice? Move on with your life. It will be hard...dont get me wrong, but you CAN do it. Obviously this isnt the girl for you..or she wouldnt have cheated on you. You need to move on, let her go and you will find someone to share your life with probably when you least expect it.
I know that actually going out and moving on is easier said than done, but you will when you are ready...when you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired over this mess, you will realize that you CAN get over this.
If you do decide to stay with this girl....well...good luck. Whatever makes YOU happy...but you must ask yourself one question....Will you ever be able to trust this girl 100% ever again? True, she may not cheat again.....or she might...you just never know. But do what your heart tells you to do in this situation...do what will make YOU happy. YOU are the only person that matters...so live your life the way you feel is best.
Good luck....
My advice? Move on with your life. It will be hard...dont get me wrong, but you CAN do it. Obviously this isnt the girl for you..or she wouldnt have cheated on you. You need to move on, let her go and you will find someone to share your life with probably when you least expect it.
I know that actually going out and moving on is easier said than done, but you will when you are ready...when you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired over this mess, you will realize that you CAN get over this.
If you do decide to stay with this girl....well...good luck. Whatever makes YOU happy...but you must ask yourself one question....Will you ever be able to trust this girl 100% ever again? True, she may not cheat again.....or she might...you just never know. But do what your heart tells you to do in this situation...do what will make YOU happy. YOU are the only person that matters...so live your life the way you feel is best.
Good luck....
jennifer said:What's your definition of cheating by the way........
Noticed your in Salt Lake City......that's where I live too
ABout 6 months ago, she told me that she was going to vegas with her friend. I found out then that she actualy went with some guy. It was over then but she swore up and down nothing happened. Of course everyone knows what really happened, but I wanted to believe her because we had really gone through alot in the past, and it has been one of the only meaninful relationships in my life. I guess you could say I was in denial. A week ago, she comes clean and tells me yah I lied we were having s all weekend. So here I am now. The worst part about it is that the day she came back from vegas and told me, I broke a picture in my house and somebody called the cops. I wasnt there when they showed up but they charged me with a class b misdeamenor of criminal mischief. I went to court and agreed to enter into their dv program to get it off my record. One of the stipulations of the program is that you cannot go within 500 yds of any place that serves alcohol. Game seven of the world series I bought a six pack of beer at a gas station near my house. The clerk from the court worked there and told the judge, he threw me in jail for 3 days. So I get cheated on then thrown in jail... life is good
I'm sorry about your situation bro. It hurts like hell! Don't stay with her! She has broken your trust and you will never be able to fully trust her again. You need to get back in the gym!!!!! Use it as therapy. Don't let this situation ruin your hardwork in the gym. Good luck to you.
F
Frackal
Guest
Lord_Suston said:
Fuckin A....that is the TROOF.
bunnymt
New member
I guess I have to be one of the only ones with whom the situation did work out favorably. We were able to address the situation and are trying to move past it That doesn't mean that everyday is not difficult and emotional. I guess it just comes down to how much you are willing to risk/put up with from someone who has hurt you so very badly.
bunny
bunny
GenetiKing
New member
Mighty P said:
That's not necessarily true. I'd wager that most of the time when someone gets cheated on, the cheater still loves the person they are supposed to be with.
You see, that's why their "cheating." If they really didn't love whoever they were with, they would just leave them and the whole cheating thing wouldn't even be an issue. Of course, there are always gonna be the incidents of being married with children or other reasons for not leaving and the cheater doesn't actually love their mate, but that's the exception rather than the rule.
GenetiKing
New member
big4life said:
Well sure...and you did the right thing. I've been cheated on too and it's was the absolute worst experience of my life. I was crushed.
I'm just saying that cheating and the reasons behind it are vastly complex sometimes and it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you when they do it.
We like to place things in neat, black/white, good/evil packages but in real life that's almost always impossible.
But you did the right thing in leaving, regardless for her feelings for you during and after the cheating episode.
It's simply not worth the second-guessing and mistrust that would have followed.
Newbie2building
New member
Na, you should just go. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you as much as she says she does. That's the sad part. She's so messed up that even though she loves you, she could do that. She is missing something that not you or anyone else can fill. Plus, could you ever trust her again? What's a relationship without trust. Who wants to have that burning feeling in their gut everytime their sig.other leaves the house?? Good luck.
3Vandoo
Well-known member
I was cheated on and peoples thinking that it takes a big man to forgive WELL FUCK OFF its takes a BIG PUSSY to forgive. I did forgave her, TWICE and damn it I was a stupid fucking prick I should had move on before until one day I said thats it fuck her fuck off
cheating is not admissible, I proud to be extremely faithfull and loyal and I expect the same for my love one, if she cant do that sorry she not for me
simple than that.
amen
cheating is not admissible, I proud to be extremely faithfull and loyal and I expect the same for my love one, if she cant do that sorry she not for me
simple than that.
amen
F
Frackal
Guest
3Vandoo said:I was cheated on and peoples thinking that it takes a big man to forgive WELL FUCK OFF its takes a BIG PUSSY to forgive. I did forgave her, TWICE and damn it I was a stupid fucking prick I should had move on before until one day I said thats it fuck her fuck off
cheating is not admissible, I proud to be extremely faithfull and loyal and I expect the same for my love one, if she cant do that sorry she not for me
simple than that.
amen
Amen bro
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