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Behold the spider-cricket

75th

75th

ololollllolloolloloolllol
EF VIP
60739525_02bcbd8060.jpg


Depending on which part of the picture I focus on, it's alternately deeply horrifying and a little cute.
 
Holy fucking Starship Troopers, Batman!

camel-spider-fly-tying.jpg
 
If global warming is our last resort to extinguish these fuckers...so be it.
 
Those big coconut crabs can crack a coconut with their claws. Imagine what they can do you 75th head.

I hear they are very delicious too.
 
Army Vet said:
Those big coconut crabs can crack a coconut with their claws. Imagine what they can do you 75th head.

I hear they are very delicious too.
Click to expand...

The big ones don't scare me as much as the little fuckers. The little ones, you can't see or hear them. I figure I could just punch the big one if it got close.
 
75th said:
The big ones don't scare me as much as the little fuckers. The little ones, you can't see or hear them. I figure I could just punch the big one if it got close.
Click to expand...

They jump like three to four feet. I used to have them under my house. They'd come up into the house. I had one jump on my leg while watching T.V. one night.
 
I find insects vaguely terrifying, particularly arachnids. On the other hand, I find the miraculous diversity in nature mind blowing. But c'mon, 75th, just because things are weird and creepy doesn't mean they should be exterminated.

BTW, what in the world is that second thing that looks like a cross between a scorpion and a cactus?
 
musclemom said:
BTW, what in the world is that second thing that looks like a cross between a scorpion and a cactus?
Click to expand...

Something that needs to be exterminated.
 
musclemom said:
Pussy ... wimp ... coward ... :lmao:

Butch it up a little, man.
Click to expand...

You can't tell what these little fuckers are thinking. You really want to wake up one morning and have those labia red prawns digging into your eyeballs? Cause that's what will happen.

They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop...EVER...until you are dead.
 
75th said:
You can't tell what these little fuckers are thinking. You really want to wake up one morning and have those labia red prawns digging into your eyeballs? Cause that's what will happen.

They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop...EVER...until you are dead.
Click to expand...
That's why I live where there's a winter.

Haven't you ever noticed that weird fucking dangerous ass bugs (and animals and reptiles) can't live where there's a good hard freeze? The freaky shit can only live in near tropical or desert conditions.

Say what you will about Pennsylvania, virtually NO Hurricane problems, tornadoes, earthquakes toxic insects (2 spiders) or reptiles (three snakes).
 
bigtravis said:
They jump like three to four feet. I used to have them under my house. They'd come up into the house. I had one jump on my leg while watching T.V. one night.
Click to expand...

When I was growing up our old house only had a dirt floor crawlspace under the place. Went down once to get one of the florescent lamps my father had stored under there and sweet gentle jesus every square inch of every wall was covered in those freaky fucking bastards.
 
That's why I heart Chicago.
 
In central texas we have small yellow scorpions that are pretty poisonous. but they are shy and easy to just step on.
 
That's what they want you to think.
 
Must. Be. Exterminated.
 
RottenWillow said:
When I was growing up our old house only had a dirt floor crawlspace under the place. Went down once to get one of the florescent lamps my father had stored under there and sweet gentle jesus every square inch of every wall was covered in those freaky fucking bastards.
Click to expand...

Wished I woulda been there. I would have saved you from the horror of those lil fuckers. With a flamethrower.
 
75th said:
The 5 Most Horrifying Bugs in the World | Cracked.com

Alright, try and convince me that not all of these fuckers need to be banished from existence asap.
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I can't. All I can honestly do is marvel at the ingenuity of creation, seriously. Then send an honest prayer of gratitude that I was born in boring ass Pennsylvania.

Finally, make note to self: stay above the equator and avoid the Pacific Rim for all intercontinental excursions.
 
cree-eee-eee-py crawlers!

these things are mostly excellent, specially the japanese hornet. they are fucking brutal evolutionary machines, and their battles with african bees are incredible to say the least. i do feel bad for the european bees tho, they have no chance.

the only one ill agree sucks is the bot fly.. once you get into the territory of parasites and wacky shit that prays on humans, well you know..
 
cryptosporidium said:
cree-eee-eee-py crawlers!

these things are mostly excellent, specially the japanese hornet. they are fucking brutal evolutionary machines, and their battles with african bees are incredible to say the least. i do feel bad for the european bees tho, they have no chance.

the only one ill agree sucks is the bot fly.. once you get into the territory of parasites and wacky shit that prays on humans, well you know..
Click to expand...
Bot flies are horrifying, but it's more a psychological freak out factor (relatively speaking) than anything else, as far as I know this common looking little fucker:

kissing-bug_6794.jpg


Kills more people collectively than all of the five bugs on that list (and a couple of others) combined.

It's an assasin bug (with the disarmingly sweet nickname of Kissing Bug). And it's shit transmits the fatal disease Chagas. It bites you to drink your blood. When it has its meal, like any other animal it has to take a shit. The shit contains parasites and if you scratch the bite site the parasites get transmitted into your blood stream and then the fun begins. In the early, acute stage, symptoms are mild and usually produce no more than local swelling at the site of infection. As the disease progresses, over the course of many years, serious chronic symptoms can appear, such as heart disease and malformation of the intestines. If untreated, the chronic disease is often fatal. There is no vaccine against it, current drug treatments are generally unsatisfactory, and available medications are highly toxic and often ineffective, particularly those used to treat the chronic stage of the disease. Chagas disease affects 16–18 million people as of 2008, with some 100 million (25% of the Latin American population) at risk of acquiring the disease, killing around 20,000 people annually. The only other insect that rivals those numbers as far as I know are mosquitos. Mosquitoes are estimated to transmit disease to more than 700 million people annually in Africa, South America, Central America, Mexico and much of Asia with millions of resulting deaths. At least 2 million people annually die of these diseases.

See, my criteria for should be exterminated is pretty short:

Mosquitos.
Assasin bugs.
Ticks.

I don't give a shit how alien freaky a thing looks, but something that can bite me and give me heart disease, encelphalitis or malaria?!?
 
nimbus said:
you gotta watch em all. The japanese hornets are always studs, scorpions are generally pussies except in the fight against the baby crab thing.
Click to expand...

I've seen the one where a couple japanese hornets come in and destroy about 1000 honey bees in like 4 minutes or something.
 
Round the 10th was kinda sad considering the greenthing spent the first half trying to get the fuck out of dodge.

Maybe he knew the hornet was a finalist.
 
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