Anybody here have PARENTING skills? I need advice.

[IanStuart]

that would be hilarious if you cuaght the guy from the video store and her having sex in your bed.

 

[Longhorn85]

I was thinking the same thing... but it seems the coordinator of the exchange knows him personally, and trusts him well enough.
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I think it was irresponsible to set her up with a single man. Only asking for trouble, even under with the best intentions. If she got pissed and cried "rape", you wouldn't stand a chance.

 

[SofaGeorge]

I had "the talk" with her last night. I was actually surprised that she was kind of on the same page I was. She said it has been more difficult than she thought it would be making new friends here, but she also recognizes the mistake of spending all her time on the phone an internet. She doesn't want to look back on this in years to come and regret the missed opportunities. Kind of anticlimatic. We talked about her only calling home one day a week and she was very agreeable to it. Now it is going to be a wait and see situation.

It comes down to she is a smart and mature kid.

 

[tomlays]

Sofageorge, take that in mind: if she doesn't take the decision you would like her to take; it is not necessairly a bad decision. It might be on your point of view, but she could be very comfortable with it. Don't direct her into something. Like I said earlier, you don't have to suggest her anything or give her advices about what you think is right for her or what you think she is missing. The only thing you have to do is act like a good listner. Children's phsychology is very complex. I won't give you a course about that tonight but I think you are forceing her INDIRECTLY. You seem to agree she will make the final decision but you are influencing her just a little inconsiously. It's good to speak on emotional fields with her but do not guide the conversation the way you want it to. Just be a mirror of her feelings.

Example:

SG: Aren't you feeling lonely here in the states?

Girl: Yes, I miss my boyfriend a lot.

SG: You miss him.

Girl: yeah, I am affraid to lose him.

SG: why?

Girl: well, I don't want to lose contact with him because I don't want him to forget me.

SG: You think he will forget you if you stop calling him every day.

Girl: yeah, kind of. I would like to experience something new here and have fun but my boyfriend is really important to me.

SG: Your boyfriend is important in your life, this is why you are affraid to live something new here in the states.

.....................

Do you see where I am going? Let her speak. It will bring her to think back about what she is living. Only repeat what she tells you to show her some retroaction. Trust me. This is what psy do for 50$ an hour.

 

[Zirakzigil]

SofaGeorge, geez, she doesn't sound at all like the 16 year old girls I knew. She sounds like a joy to "parent". Shit.

 

[Newbie2building]

Throw her a party. Have her invite friends from school

 

[SofaGeorge]

Throw her a party. Have her invite friends from school

Happening Thursday night. She also is going to start working (under the table) after school two days a week in a friend's dress shop. It is prom season... so she thinks it will be very social.

 

[Zirakzigil]

Seriously how many 16 yr old girls that you know of are that rational? Maybe it's true what they say about Germans lol.