Methods that I have seen work.
Stay up late drinking cheap wine. A lot of it. When you're ready to blow chunks, run into her bedroom, slamming open the door, and spew all over her bed with her in it.
Remember: women love shoes. Shit freely and liberally in her favorite shoes. Taking this tactic to the extreme level: if she has a pair of slippers she slips on in the morning, wait til she's asleep. Sneak in, grab 'em, shit in em, put 'em back where you found 'em. Gives her a nice cold, squishy feeling between her toes first thing in the morning.