Alright EF women advice needed on dating

[nefertiti]

I would have made you wait.

lol...killer move, right there.

 

[EnderJE]

I haven't been on a date with a new person in a long time. Is modern dating really this difficult? Is it really just a mind game back and forth? Based on the posts above, it seems to be like some sort of psychological battle between two people. Is the addage "just be yourself" just a falacy nowadays?

 

[Bikini Mod]

no doubt. the guy from texas was supposed to come in to see me again this month, but after doing some soul searching I ended it for good. I was an inch away from overlooking his fatal flaws, but finally gained some wisdom and some balls and chose not to see him, even though I have so much fun with him.

You know that *fun* would BIGTIME wane once he became an even bigger jackass.

Do you know that I had 3 adults and 3 children in my home that were NOT blood-relatives, hell I'd never met them before in real time and they all had the run of my home. I don't even go into my guest's rooms unless I was hanging up their laundry or putting clean towels, etc.

You were intimate with this man so I assume there was a great level of trust yet he let you walk around the mall with your son because he didn't trust you to be alone in his home while he wasn't there? Heck, there are no locked ANYTHING in my home but I had zero issue both of us being gone and giving my company the garage door opener and coming and going as they please.

See what I am saying Ms Heatherrae?

 

[Bikini Mod]

I haven't been on a date with a new person in a long time. Is modern dating really this difficult? Is it really just a mind game back and forth? Based on the posts above, it seems to be like some sort of psychological battle between two people. Is the addage "just be yourself" just a falacy nowadays?

I don't believe it is a game or anything like that. Well, not once you get a little older it shouldn't be. But women's roles have changed so much so I do believe that this has put a SERIOUS monkey wrench in dating.

 

[nefertiti]

Nope. She feels that she deserves to be treated well. Women who don't appreciated being treated well, usually think that if a man treats them well, there must be something wrong with HIM. It is sort of like that saying "they wouldn't be a part of any club that would have them as a member."

I enjoy being treated well, but in my mind romantic and sweet gestures should hold off until after the emotional bond is established. I don't want to be courted with flowers, and one can treat a woman well without spoiling her before she's earned it.

I have a sort of "you had to be there" story last week when the guy I've been seeing randomly hands me a sealed envelope out of his car. Now, mind you, this was one day after me teasing him about being a romantic because he said something crude, and he responded with, "You want romantic? I can show you romantic." So the next day he hands me what looks like a card, and I'm thinking, oh jesus, a card??...what the hell is this about? Aparently it showed on my face because he said, "No no, it's not what you think." And I kind of awkwardly stuck it in my purse and said, "OK, I'll open it later." And he said, "No really, it's not what you think. It's something for that dive show in september." Then, feeling like an ass, I start cracking up at my reaction and next thing you know we're both laughing so hard tears are coming to our eyes. According to him I had an expression like he had just handed me a bomb or an envelope full of anthrax. His comment, through the laughter, was, "Well, now I know how you REALLY feel!"

I don't think there's something wrong with a guy who makes a lot of early overtures...I just don't think it's genuine, it makes me awkward, and it feels unnatural. Early on, for ME, it should just be about having fun together without it being too relationshippy and rushed. There's a progression, i think, and early gestures eliminate the fun and exciting "chase" phase.

 

[all the whey]

I enjoy being treated well, but in my mind romantic and sweet gestures should hold off until after the emotional bond is established. I don't want to be courted with flowers, and one can treat a woman well without spoiling her before she's earned it.

I have a sort of "you had to be there" story last week when the guy I've been seeing randomly hands me a sealed envelope out of his car. Now, mind you, this was one day after me teasing him about being a romantic because he said something crude, and he responded with, "You want romantic? I can show you romantic." So the next day he hands me what looks like a card, and I'm thinking, oh jesus, a card??...what the hell is this about? Aparently it showed on my face because he said, "No no, it's not what you think." And I kind of awkwardly stuck it in my purse and said, "OK, I'll open it later." And he said, "No really, it's not what you think. It's something for that dive show in september." Then, feeling like an ass, I start cracking up at my reaction and next thing you know we're both laughing so hard tears are coming to our eyes. According to him I had an expression like he had just handed me a bomb or an envelope full of anthrax. His comment, through the laughter, was, "Well, now I know how you REALLY feel!"

I don't think there's something wrong with a guy who makes a lot of early overtures...I just don't think it's genuine, it makes me awkward, and it feels unnatural. Early on, for ME, it should just be about having fun together without it being too relationshippy and rushed. There's a progression, i think, and early gestures eliminate the fun and exciting "chase" phase.

I would have guessed the envelope had a restraining order in it.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I enjoy being treated well, but in my mind romantic and sweet gestures should hold off until after the emotional bond is established. I don't want to be courted with flowers, and one can treat a woman well without spoiling her before she's earned it.

I have a sort of "you had to be there" story last week when the guy I've been seeing randomly hands me a sealed envelope out of his car. Now, mind you, this was one day after me teasing him about being a romantic because he said something crude, and he responded with, "You want romantic? I can show you romantic." So the next day he hands me what looks like a card, and I'm thinking, oh jesus, a card??...what the hell is this about? Aparently it showed on my face because he said, "No no, it's not what you think." And I kind of awkwardly stuck it in my purse and said, "OK, I'll open it later." And he said, "No really, it's not what you think. It's something for that dive show in september." Then, feeling like an ass, I start cracking up at my reaction and next thing you know we're both laughing so hard tears are coming to our eyes. According to him I had an expression like he had just handed me a bomb or an envelope full of anthrax. His comment, through the laughter, was, "Well, now I know how you REALLY feel!"

I don't think there's something wrong with a guy who makes a lot of early overtures...I just don't think it's genuine, it makes me awkward, and it feels unnatural. Early on, for ME, it should just be about having fun together without it being too relationshippy and rushed. There's a progression, i think, and early gestures eliminate the fun and exciting "chase" phase.

Why would YOU have to "earn" being spoiled?

And I do agree, there should be a progression. But how do early gestures eliminate fun and "chase"?

I want to say that ANY MAN who goes balls to the walls from the get go, totally decending and sweeping a woman off her feet to hard to quick (and an envelope don't count for that LOL) is a HYUGE red flag.

There is a hyuge difference between a man treating a lady well and a dude calling her 50 times a day the day after a date.

 

[nefertiti]

So, what do you find so attractive about hateful alcoholics? I wasn't implying you caused it, but you were attracted to him......

I'm pretty sure that once he showed his true colors, she didn't find it attractive. People like that are masterful manipulators.

 

[heatherrae]

I don't think there's something wrong with a guy who makes a lot of early overtures...I just don't think it's genuine, it makes me awkward, and it feels unnatural. Early on, for ME, it should just be about having fun together without it being too relationshippy and rushed. There's a progression, i think, and early gestures eliminate the fun and exciting "chase" phase.

I agree that if it is not genuine that it isn't cool and there should be a progression of things. However, dinner and some flowers is just a nice gesture and shows that the guy has put some effort in for you. It isn't like he is giving you an engagment ring on the first date. lol.

 

[calveless wonder]

blueta,nef,velv 1

crazies -1



(omitting you again silver lol)