Alright EF women advice needed on dating

[silverstar1025]

You are married with children... flowers and candy don't go nearly as far as having a "to myself day" while hubby takes care of the brood I am thinkin LOL.

Romance is your man telling you how beautiful you are when you look like total hell after staying up all night with his children, getting all stretch-marked, feet swollen, him still reaching for your hand and getting your door even though you aren't "that hot young thang" you used to be...

And for the woman she should ALWAYS behave in a fashion that is worthy of being treated like the queen that she is.

So very true BM. His appreciation for what I do and telling me I am sexy is good enough for me.

 

[heatherrae]

A guy once took me to a really fancy place on the first date...I felt REALY uncomfortable, and did not see him again after that. You don't have to act nonchalant, I just don't like formal date stuff on the first date...there's too much structure to it.

BM - I don't want to feel like a guy is honored to be with me. Again, I'm not selling myself short. I know what I bring to the table. I want a guy i'm dating to know what he brings to the table and for both of us to think we fit well, and equally. As such, giving me the princess treatment early on gives me the impression that you place me above yourself and I'm not looking for a minion. I want a partner.

I would understand liking less formal dates. I very often prefer renting movies and staying in with popcorn. However, if a guy takes you to a nice dinner and buys you flowers, do you think less of him? think he's a pushover? a puss?

Just curious. No debate here.

 

[Bikini Mod]

So very true BM. His appreciation for what I do and telling me I am sexy is good enough for me.

As I said, all the money in the world will not make up for spending 10 minutes with an ASSWHOLE... I spent 13 years but that was 100% ON ME.

I just raised my standards after that nightmare.

Good for any woman who had those high standards right out of the shoot!!!

 

[heatherrae]

As I said, all the money in the world will not make up for spending 10 minutes with an ASSWHOLE... I spent 13 years but that was 100% ON ME.

I just raised my standards after that nightmare.

Good for any woman who had those high standards right out of the shoot!!!

Yeah, it isn't about the money that they spend, unless that is all they have to offer anyone...lol.

I just don't think dinner and flowers is at all over the top extravagence

 

[Bikini Mod]

I would understand liking less formal dates. I very often prefer renting movies and staying in with popcorn. However, if a guy takes you to a nice dinner and buys you flowers, do you think less of him? think he's a pushover? a puss?

Just curious. No debate here.

I concurr. (Well all except the part about renting movies and staying in - fuck that )

I am curious about this as well... no debate just wanting to understand your point of view Ms Nefertiti.

 

[nefertiti]

I would understand liking less formal dates. I very often prefer renting movies and staying in with popcorn. However, if a guy takes you to a nice dinner and buys you flowers, do you think less of him? think he's a pushover? a puss?

Just curious. No debate here.

On the first one or two dates? I don't think less of him. I just don't want to date him. I know someone who does that is not going to really match up well with my personality. I want those things when they come from the heart, not when you're trying to impress me. Plus, in my experience, the ones who do it early are also the ones who usually fall off and stop being affectionate and attentive once they "have" you. The ones who waited till it really meant something were the ones who really understood the value of being thoughtful and making an effort in a long term situation. That's completely anectdotal, though, and by no means is universal, but it's another reason all the flowers and spending lots of money early on feels fake to me.

 

[Bikini Mod]

On the first one or two dates? I don't think less of him. I just don't want to date him. I know someone who does that is not going to really match up well with my personality. I want those things when they come from the heart, not when you're trying to impress me. Plus, in my experience, the ones who do it early are also the ones who usually fall off and stop being affectionate and attentive once they "have" you. The ones who waited till it really meant something were the ones who really understood the value of being thoughtful and making an effort in a long term situation. That's completely anectdotal, though, and by no means is universal, but it's another reason all the flowers and spending lots of money early on feels fake to me.

I can completely understand this point of view.

.... and yet another reason why I make sure even my husband keeps "working" for it, earning my respect, attention and affection daily as I work the same way.

DAILY.

Once that stops - he is free to leave.

 

[nefertiti]

I can completely understand this point of view.

As i understand yours....as you said, you and I come from two different places as far as age and experience...that goes for heather and I, too. We all want and need different things from our partners. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[AztecWarrior]

strong fail.

 

[Razorguns]

Is she young 20's caucasian hot?

No. Great way to become a pushover, no challenge, bore in her eyes. Soon as mr bad boy walks by -- boom, you're gone.

Is she older, not as attractive, perhaps looking for marriage material, have a culture that respects nice guys? Then yes.

So your answer is : depends on the girl. That'll be 5 dollars please.

r