Alright EF women advice needed on dating

[Bikini Mod]

LOL And "the crazies" would be who exactly?

 

[cindylou]

If I guy likes me I want him to call the next day

not play games.

i just say one phone call the next day is enough.

dont worry about the other stuff. Just do what your heart says.

i am responding to the first post, i have no idea where this thread has gone so far.

 

[nefertiti]

Why would YOU have to "earn" being spoiled?

And I do agree, there should be a progression. But how do early gestures eliminate fun and "chase"?

I want to say that ANY MAN who goes balls to the walls from the get go, totally decending and sweeping a woman off her feet to hard to quick (and an envelope don't count for that LOL) is a HYUGE red flag.

There is a hyuge difference between a man treating a lady well and a dude calling her 50 times a day the day after a date.

That's just how I feel. It doesn't feel special if you do it right away. whether it's true or not, I want to feel like you're doing these things for me, not because it's part of your dating formula, but because you're that into me. And early on, a guy should not be that into me. I'm not selling myself short. I've got a lot going for me that would be attractive to almost anyone. but it takes time to get to know someone and I want someone to be falling over themselves because of the person I am, not because I'm a attractive girl who loses her shit over football.

There's no time frame....it feels natural at different moments for different people. I think smurf also gave great advice...each situation and dynamic is different and you just have to be adept at reading certain social cues.

 

[heatherrae]

That's just how I feel. It doesn't feel special if you do it right away. whether it's true or not, I want to feel like you're doing these things for me, not because it's part of your dating formula, but because you're that into me. And early on, a guy should not be that into me. I'm not selling myself short. I've got a lot going for me that would be attractive to almost anyone. but it takes time to get to know someone and I want someone to be falling over themselves because of the person I am, not because I'm a attractive girl who loses her shit over football.

There's no time frame....it feels natural at different moments for different people. I think smurf also gave great advice...each situation and dynamic is different and you just have to be adept at reading certain social cues.

So if a guy takes you to dinner and brings a bouquet you don't go out with him again? How nonchalant is nonchalant enough?

 

[Bikini Mod]

That's just how I feel. It doesn't feel special if you do it right away. whether it's true or not, I want to feel like you're doing these things for me, not because it's part of your dating formula, but because you're that into me. And early on, a guy should not be that into me. I'm not selling myself short. I've got a lot going for me that would be attractive to almost anyone. but it takes time to get to know someone and I want someone to be falling over themselves because of the person I am, not because I'm a attractive girl who loses her shit over football.

There's no time frame....it feels natural at different moments for different people. I think smurf also gave great advice...each situation and dynamic is different and you just have to be adept at reading certain social cues.

OK I hear you but the fact that this man CHOSE YOU to ask on a date should mean that he is "that into you"... shouldn't it?

You are bright, attractive, good heart have a lot to offer a man so you could choose to spend your time with ANY man who finds you to be attractive. The fact that the man who YOU CHOSE to spend even A FIRST date with should be honored by him.... shouldn't it?

 

[nefertiti]

So if a guy takes you to dinner and brings a bouquet you don't go out with him again? How nonchalant is nonchalant enough?

A guy once took me to a really fancy place on the first date...I felt REALY uncomfortable, and did not see him again after that. You don't have to act nonchalant, I just don't like formal date stuff on the first date...there's too much structure to it.

BM - I don't want to feel like a guy is honored to be with me. Again, I'm not selling myself short. I know what I bring to the table. I want a guy i'm dating to know what he brings to the table and for both of us to think we fit well, and equally. As such, giving me the princess treatment early on gives me the impression that you place me above yourself and I'm not looking for a minion. I want a partner.

 

[Bikini Mod]

A guy once took me to a really fancy place on the first date...I felt REALY uncomfortable, and did not see him again after that. You don't have to act nonchalant, I just don't like formal date stuff on the first date...there's too much structure to it.

BM - I don't want to feel like a guy is honored to be with me. Again, I'm not selling myself short. I know what I bring to the table. I want a guy i'm dating to know what he brings to the table and for both of us to think we fit well, and equally. As such, giving me the princess treatment early on gives me the impression that you place me above yourself and I'm not looking for a minion. I want a partner.

I understand your feelings... I honestly do. I suppose that having been treated so poorly in the past now I've become VERY demanding (without demanding a thing - if the man doesn't gladly yield what I am looking for then we just won't be a fit). We are also at different stages in our lives.. I am done busting my butt to serve everyone around me which is how I spent my entire life up until now. I still serve others, that is my pleasure, but I do it differently...

I do EXPECT a man should be honored that I chose him above others.

I so EXPECT to be cherished and adored.

And my husband does it with pleasure in everyone of our interactions.

He is the only man alive for me. There is NOTHING that another man could do that would even make me turn my head. How many men can say the same about their women?

 

[silverstar1025]

lmao...the good old Mr. Romantic line...or 'play 143' as I like to call it...

I am talking romancing me with flowers, full body massages,etc. Only thing that boy massages now are my boobs when he wants some. He shows me he loves me with actions not crap. That is ok as long as I am feeling the love somehow.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am talking romancing me with flowers, full body massages,etc. Only thing that boy massages now are my boobs when he wants some. He shows me he loves me with actions not crap. That is ok as long as I am feeling the love somehow.

You are married with children... flowers and candy don't go nearly as far as having a "to myself day" while hubby takes care of the brood I am thinkin LOL.

Romance is your man telling you how beautiful you are when you look like total hell after staying up all night with his children, getting all stretch-marked, feet swollen, him still reaching for your hand and getting your door even though you aren't "that hot young thang" you used to be...

And for the woman she should ALWAYS behave in a fashion that is worthy of being treated like the queen that she is.

 

[all the whey]

A guy once took me to a really fancy place on the first date...I felt REALY uncomfortable, and did not see him again after that. You don't have to act nonchalant, I just don't like formal date stuff on the first date...there's too much structure to it.

BM - I don't want to feel like a guy is honored to be with me. Again, I'm not selling myself short. I know what I bring to the table. I want a guy i'm dating to know what he brings to the table and for both of us to think we fit well, and equally. As such, giving me the princess treatment early on gives me the impression that you place me above yourself and I'm not looking for a minion. I want a partner.

I agree that shit is usually insincere.


He should have just told you that you had good form.