Advice: Dad has cancer

[Jade19]

i'm so sorry for you, i lost my Dad 9 years ago to cancer. keep close to him, be there for him. my Dad gave up in the end, they called it "lack of will to thrive".

I know that he is really sad because he doesnt want to leave us, my sis isnt even in High school yet. He's always so happy when i come around that i dont know exactly where here is. Thank you for the support

 

[*MissFit*]

sorry to hear

 

[danielson]

hi

Just wondered if the doctors have put you in touch with any support groups? You would be asuprised at how many people have fought cancer or are in the fight and have set up websites and meeting groups where they talk about their treatments...they are also very knowledgable about these sort of things too. It may be worth speaking to them about their experiences

As for whether radiation treatment is appropriate, have you thought about seeking a second opinion? either by reccomendation by your current doctors or otherwise? I can;t think of any reason medical why they would object, no one on here can really definitivly know whats going on with your father until they have seen him or his notes ultimately...the lesions/little tumours spreading to the brain etc mean the tumour has 'moved' presumably?

it may be worth asking the doctor about what this exactly means and whether this is 'metastatic spread' through his 'lymphatic system' and just whatg that is. And finally what each treatment actually is, with its possible and probable (i.e. likely % wise success) benefits and side effects. No matter how busy a doctor may appear, there is always someone within that team who will be willing to talk to you provided you make an appointment with them to talk

I'd also just echo growth&courages post....its sage advice IMO

 

[Jade19]

hi

Just wondered if the doctors have put you in touch with any support groups? You would be asuprised at how many people have fought cancer or are in the fight and have set up websites and meeting groups where they talk about their treatments...they are also very knowledgable about these sort of things too. It may be worth speaking to them about their experiences

As for whether radiation treatment is appropriate, have you thought about seeking a second opinion? either by reccomendation by your current doctors or otherwise? I can;t think of any reason medical why they would object, no one on here can really definitivly know whats going on with your father until they have seen him or his notes ultimately...the lesions/little tumours spreading to the brain etc mean the tumour has 'moved' presumably?

it may be worth asking the doctor about what this exactly means and whether this is 'metastatic spread' through his 'lymphatic system' and just whatg that is. And finally what each treatment actually is, with its possible and probable (i.e. likely % wise success) benefits and side effects. No matter how busy a doctor may appear, there is always someone within that team who will be willing to talk to you provided you make an appointment with them to talk

I'd also just echo growth&courages post....its sage advice IMO

Yes they have, my dad isn't very social, mother too. But he is planning on going to speak with a pastor so hopefully that will bring some understanding and peace to him.

If/when he passes it'll be okay because he will be in a better place and I'll see him again another day.

 

[USMC fighter]

Jade, spend as much time with him as you can, he needs you now more than ever. Try to stay strong. When i used to visit my mom in hospice, she looked so horrible id want to cry but i had to wait until i left and got out the door. Being with her when she passed helped me to deal with her death.It sucks because you kind of try to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the day but their is no preperation for the things you will feel. I lost my mom to lung cancer 5 yrs ago and it still hurts. If you need anything dont be afraid to pm me. Hang in there!!!!!

 

[Jade19]

Jade, spend as much time with him as you can, he needs you now more than ever. Try to stay strong. When i used to visit my mom in hospice, she looked so horrible id want to cry but i had to wait until i left and got out the door. Being with her when she passed helped me to deal with her death.It sucks because you kind of try to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the day but their is no preperation for the things you will feel. I lost my mom to lung cancer 5 yrs ago and it still hurts. If you need anything dont be afraid to pm me. Hang in there!!!!!

Lung cancer is terrible, I literally watched my grandma die from it. Sorry to hear about your mother. Nothing will prepare me, my mom came to me and told me how serious she thought it was because she knows it will take awhile for it to actually kick in. I guess its the kid thing, your invincible to the world, which seems to include your family. I've had 10 people close to me who have died but, dad is waaaayyy different. Thank you for you advice and thoughts. Dont know whos religous, but if you are send a prayer my way!!!

 

[markshark]

Lung cancer is terrible, I literally watched my grandma die from it. Sorry to hear about your mother. Nothing will prepare me, my mom came to me and told me how serious she thought it was because she knows it will take awhile for it to actually kick in. I guess its the kid thing, your invincible to the world, which seems to include your family. I've had 10 people close to me who have died but, dad is waaaayyy different. Thank you for you advice and thoughts. Dont know whos religous, but if you are send a prayer my way!!!

my dad died of cancer when i was 10. i miss every minute of him. if it is spreading than all they can do is chemo. i watched my father go through this with a brain tumor for 8 months. stay with him and care for him, because i never got to know mine like i would have wanted to. take him places and take pictures. love him.

 

[SoKlueles]

my grandfather had prostate cancer a few years ago, and he went to radiation treatment monday -friday for 6 weeks, it went into remission. so theres always hope good luck

 

[Snarling Force]

I feel your pain jade I'm in the same boat, very similar situation. My Dad had colon cancer 3 years ago, refused chemo, and somehow they were able to remove the cancer and reconnect him, sparing him from the horror that is a colestomy bag. Well just last week, my Dad had a catscan done and he has 2 tumors now in both lungs. One lung is completely taken over, the other 50% so he is running off half of one lung. I'm 3000 miles away which makes it even more hard. Its very hard, you keep thinking of your Dad all the time, everything reminds you of him. All we can do is hope and pray. I wish you and your Dad the best. Keep positive and know your not alone.

 

[Jade19]

I feel your pain jade I'm in the same boat, very similar situation. My Dad had colon cancer 3 years ago, refused chemo, and somehow they were able to remove the cancer and reconnect him, sparing him from the horror that is a colestomy bag. Well just last week, my Dad had a catscan done and he has 2 tumors now in both lungs. One lung is completely taken over, the other 50% so he is running off half of one lung. I'm 3000 miles away which makes it even more hard. Its very hard, you keep thinking of your Dad all the time, everything reminds you of him. All we can do is hope and pray. I wish you and your Dad the best. Keep positive and know your not alone.

yesterday i talked to my mom and she said he was getting worse........then today my dad called me wityh "good" news sayin his cancer count went down........... i dont know if they are lieing to him but it makes me devastated to think about him leaving............. and the thought he has no idea he thinks hes getting better but i dont know what one to believe