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nimbus
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some dude running alongside a stopped bus yelling "NAGGER!" into every window, and laughing maniacally saying "it's only 1 letter off, but i can still say it and it makes me happier than anything!"
some old dude going absofuckignlutely ballistic at a hotdog stand because people kept "cutting" a nonexistant line. Eventually he emerged from his fake spot in the fake line screaming "what the fuck is this shit!? how the fuck is everyone cutting?!" the staff tried to calm him down and were like 'that's not how it works here, but lemme take your order now.' the old dude kept screaming "no, fuck this shit" as the staff repeatedly tried to take his order. finally they threatened to call the cops if he wouldnt leave or stfu, and some acquaintances of his started to drag him out at that point. but on his way he out he was shouting "FINE CALL, THEM!! TELL THEM ALL I WANTED WAS A KIELBASA!!" lol!
we had to take my friend from the cal/usc game because he started feeling up some dude's mail order bride. no joke, he was that fucking drunk. maybe mail order brides are raised to have no sense of self and lack the capability to refuse anything, because she was just getting totally felt up and didnt even say anything. i wish i couldve seen how it started but i was sitting several seats over and wasn't paying attention until everyone started laughign and the husband started threatening to kill him.
I ended up going the bar ridiculously fucking drunk, and much to my chagrin my buddy greets us with two rounds of ginormous fucking beers. at this point we need inspiration other than free will to finish these brews, so i suggest a pretty sweet game me and subz invented called "rock paper anything," which is like rock paper scissors except you can throw anything your mind can conjure up. the loser has to chug. game is actually fun as shit, and other people get involved too as they can't help but get curious as to why people are arguing how the holocaust matches up against chuck norris, an aids needle, auto-erotic asphyxiation, and a stingray. Anyway out of the of the corner of my eye i spot these two really cute girls looking our way and a few rounds later they finally start to make their way over. As they drew near i became very enthused, as i faintly heard one of them mention a specific article of clothing i was wearing and their trajectory would put them right by me. finally when they are right about to get to me i spin to greet them...but no words come out as i realize that the monstrous cup of beer i was holding had left my hand and was hurtling towards their feet in slow motion. as my hands move to bury my face i see a tsunami of beer soak their pants and shoes through the cracks in my fingers. In a more coherent state i wouldve apologized and might even have been able to salvage the situation, but all i could do was shake my head and mutter "just go" through my hands. they walked off towards the patio and might have even left the bar entirely; i didn't see them again the rest of the night. i think i'm going to write a sequel to 'the game'
Lastly, 3 of my buddies stayed in this one bedroom of the house we were crashing at. everyone in the living room, including two of the people who originally were sleeping in the room, were awoken by the third kid from the bedroom frantically running down the stairs and gagging. we went upstairs to see what the deal was, and the entire room was filled with shit, like 5 piles, on both the floor and clothing. what's weird is both people who went from the bedroom to the living room earlier in the night claim they have no recollection of what took place or even changing rooms. i can't wait to figure out what the verdict is
some old dude going absofuckignlutely ballistic at a hotdog stand because people kept "cutting" a nonexistant line. Eventually he emerged from his fake spot in the fake line screaming "what the fuck is this shit!? how the fuck is everyone cutting?!" the staff tried to calm him down and were like 'that's not how it works here, but lemme take your order now.' the old dude kept screaming "no, fuck this shit" as the staff repeatedly tried to take his order. finally they threatened to call the cops if he wouldnt leave or stfu, and some acquaintances of his started to drag him out at that point. but on his way he out he was shouting "FINE CALL, THEM!! TELL THEM ALL I WANTED WAS A KIELBASA!!" lol!
we had to take my friend from the cal/usc game because he started feeling up some dude's mail order bride. no joke, he was that fucking drunk. maybe mail order brides are raised to have no sense of self and lack the capability to refuse anything, because she was just getting totally felt up and didnt even say anything. i wish i couldve seen how it started but i was sitting several seats over and wasn't paying attention until everyone started laughign and the husband started threatening to kill him.
I ended up going the bar ridiculously fucking drunk, and much to my chagrin my buddy greets us with two rounds of ginormous fucking beers. at this point we need inspiration other than free will to finish these brews, so i suggest a pretty sweet game me and subz invented called "rock paper anything," which is like rock paper scissors except you can throw anything your mind can conjure up. the loser has to chug. game is actually fun as shit, and other people get involved too as they can't help but get curious as to why people are arguing how the holocaust matches up against chuck norris, an aids needle, auto-erotic asphyxiation, and a stingray. Anyway out of the of the corner of my eye i spot these two really cute girls looking our way and a few rounds later they finally start to make their way over. As they drew near i became very enthused, as i faintly heard one of them mention a specific article of clothing i was wearing and their trajectory would put them right by me. finally when they are right about to get to me i spin to greet them...but no words come out as i realize that the monstrous cup of beer i was holding had left my hand and was hurtling towards their feet in slow motion. as my hands move to bury my face i see a tsunami of beer soak their pants and shoes through the cracks in my fingers. In a more coherent state i wouldve apologized and might even have been able to salvage the situation, but all i could do was shake my head and mutter "just go" through my hands. they walked off towards the patio and might have even left the bar entirely; i didn't see them again the rest of the night. i think i'm going to write a sequel to 'the game'
Lastly, 3 of my buddies stayed in this one bedroom of the house we were crashing at. everyone in the living room, including two of the people who originally were sleeping in the room, were awoken by the third kid from the bedroom frantically running down the stairs and gagging. we went upstairs to see what the deal was, and the entire room was filled with shit, like 5 piles, on both the floor and clothing. what's weird is both people who went from the bedroom to the living room earlier in the night claim they have no recollection of what took place or even changing rooms. i can't wait to figure out what the verdict is
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