24 Hour Fitness Just Cold Called the Wrong Guy...

[bblazer]

Me: "hello?"

Them: "Hi this is Sara at 24hr Fitness. We see by our records that you are a member at Gold's. How are they doing at helping you meet your goals?"

Me: "How did you know I am at Gold's?"

Them: "We have common lists. Are you getting any personal training sessions over there?"

Me: "Why do I need those?"

Them: "To help you reach your goals and to help you learn how to use the machines and get you as fit as you can be."

Me: "I'm more of a free weight guy. I don't normally do much machine work. Machines are kinda for rehab, you know..."

Them: "Well our trainers are very qualified to help you with nutrition as well. Can I ask what your goals are for weight loss and fitness?"

Me: "I want to put on another 35 lbs and be able to squat 1000 lbs RAW."

Them: "You want to put on weight, and do what?"

Me: "Yea 35 lbs and squat 1k lbs. You got anyone over there doing that?"

Them: "I'm not really sure. But why would you only be interested in one lift?"

Me: "I'm not a specialist. I lift all three."

Them: "All 3 what?"

Me: "All 3 lifts. You know, squat, bench and deadlift."

Them: "You know that deadlifts and squats are really hard on your knees and back. That's why most people don't do them. What is your diet like?"

Me: "I eat everything that isn't nailed down. Maybe your gym isn't quite for me."

Them: "Can I offer you a free daypass and an evaluation by one of our trainers?"

Me: "Can any two of your trainers pick up the ass end of a car or weigh over 400lbs combined?"

Them: "I don't think so."

Me: "There's your answer then. Thanks for calling."

Click.

B-

 

[miplank]

lmfao

 

[goin on 4T]

Ha that is funny! Dumb shits!

 

[SpyWizard]

hhahaha.. i'm going to remember that one.. i'm going to start quizzing her on which trainer can hook me up with a good gh guy.. maybe some local doc they have on staff that can get me a script..

 

[bblazer]

hhahaha.. i'm going to remember that one.. i'm going to start quizzing her on which trainer can hook me up with a good gh guy.. maybe some local doc they have on staff that can get me a script..

Ask if they provide an area to inject in privacy, with proper sharps disposal and free alcohol prep pads.

B-

 

[Big_BK]

LOL you are hilarious bro.

 

[mphowells]

hah quality.

 

[dabuffguy]

Nice. I always answer sales calls in a fake accent. Middle eastern accent or an indian accent is a favorite and I screw wtih them.

Sometimes I speak jibberish chinese and start yelling.

Jiu jiu xen gong!!!! Yindao!!! Yindao tou!!!!!



I love it when the sales people call. It's always a fun time.

Or when they call and its in spanish. Since I speak spanish I always try to turn it into phone sex. It scares people, lol.

 

[bluejay]

Honestly this is too funny!!!

 

[Toptoon1]

LOL, that was funny. Poor sara, she's probably 17-18 trying to make a buck like all of us. But thats the nature of the beast. Fuck unsolicited phone calls. I used to do 24hr. Its a great place to start. You can pretty much do the 3 there. I mean they dont have bumper plates and shit but i never got to the point of having to drop 350lbs. I never been to golds. Whats it like? LOL, im guessing alot more muscle and bumper plates. haha. I dunno 24 was convienant as fuck, and while i didnt go to the gym for a spa treatment you cant tell me that chilling in a sauna, steam room, hot tub, or pool at anytime of the day isnt nice. Well i take that back anytime of the day past 10-11pm otherwise you wont be doing shit but waiting in line. Thats the reason I stopped going. I used to do all my lifts in the cage. Problem was only one cage. So one day i stroll in and it takes 40 minutes to get in the cage. All the benches filled with people hovering to get the next one. all the squat racks, haha i say all, i really should say. THE squat rack filled and people hovering for that. I was like fuck this, I went down stairs said goodbye to the sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi, and pool. Told the chick at the front desk i wanna cancel my shit and for them to stop billing my visa. went home and said hello to my freezing garage, hello to the black widows, and hello to my bench, which will literally be around for the next 100 years if no one melts it down for scrap, and hello to my olympic weight set. Sometimes late at night. When im done with my workout, my eyes mist up and i think back and wonder. I wonder, what the humidity level is at the sauna. 70? 80? 90? I wonder if the jets are running in that jacuzzi so close yet so far away, or are they still broken. I wonder if at that very moment the jacuzzi water is a sparkling tint of blue like i remember it, or if it is the dark yellow color that it usually was.