Women: Marry that man who isnt prince charming but is good enough

[velvett]

I never thought there was...but holding out for mr. "right for you" (different than mr right) is entirely realistic.

Exactly.

 

[redsamurai]

I hate to break it you - but there is no prince (or princess) charming, it's a fairy tale to sell movies and hallmark cards.

no, but there are grown ass men and grown ass women.........................................................................................................................................somewhere...........................................................................I think..................

 

[redsamurai]

Here's what settling gets you - this woman's life:

She's happily married, dreaming of divorce - CNN.com

No thanks...I'd rather be single with hope than trapped because of a child and silently miserable.

OMG that article dripped with depression and bitterness. I feel sorry for that woman.........but in her defense not many women can claim to have been hit by a car their husbands were driving. I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

 

[redsamurai]

the moral of this whole story for me is.........be your fucking self. If two people can make an honest attempt at being themselves.......than they can come to an honest conclusion about whether they're cut out for each other. Like the whole "no emittance of odor's for at least 6 months rule"...........fuck that. You should pass gas infront of your date at your earliest convenience..........this goes for women too. That's a big first clue if the two of you can smell each other's shit and still be cool......LOL. Ok, I'm having fun.......but y'all get what I mean. It sucks when you make long term plans with someone only to find out they're not who/what you thought they were when you made those plans. I'd rather be alone than be someone I'm not just so someone will love me.

 

[Tatyana]

Yeah, my problem is that I don't have those feelings. I think only once or twice did I ever feel that way about anyone. Usually, I just begin to have tender feelings here and there for someone that grow into a more mature love, but I often disappoint men because I don't gush over them or look starry eyed for them. My hormones must be off. I'm no Princess Charming, I guess...lol.

To be really direct with you hun, there seems to be this expectation of what love FEELS like.

Maybe it doesn't feel as you think it might.

I am fairly positive this linking love with emotions is a fairly modern concept, it developed in the last 100 years.

Similarly, 'romantic' love (especially as related to marriage) is about 400-500 years old.

The hormone thing is over-rated as far as love goes, seriously, that isn't what it is about. That is animal stuff, the human equivalent of a bright red butt.

 

[heatherrae]

To be really direct with you hun, there seems to be this expectation of what love FEELS like.

Maybe it doesn't feel as you think it might.

I am fairly positive this linking love with emotions is a fairly modern concept, it developed in the last 100 years.

Similarly, 'romantic' love (especially as related to marriage) is about 400-500 years old.

The hormone thing is over-rated as far as love goes, seriously, that isn't what it is about. That is animal stuff, the human equivalent of a bright red butt.

I just went plat so I just now am seeing your sig photo. You are spectacular! Wow!

Okay, back on topic. I'm sure you are right about the love thing. It is just that I disappoint men who expect more from me.

 

[velvett]

This is going to come across as very callous, but it's true. Entering into a relationship is like any other investment. You obviously hope that investment is going to grow over time. If your value is derived from appearance and youth only, your investment is going to tank.

Nicely stated.

 

[jackangel]

Im not coming from that viewpoint necessarily, just being the messenger to see how this thread goes.

if someone shows up to insult rachelefc for no good reason, it will be your fault.

 

[LoneTree]

It may be sexist, but unfortunately, men have longer biological clock, and they age better.
Once a woman turns 30+, her options becomes limited. There aren't that many men around in their mid-thirties who may be considered 'good catches' and are not already married.
If a woman can not find 'mr perfect' when she is in her prime, how likely is it that she would be able to find him when she is past her prime?
Having a child makes thing more complicated. I know several women that I like, but I am not willing to live with the complications of their children: being father figure to a child who already has a biological father, visitations, etc.

 

[redsamurai]

That is animal stuff, the human equivalent of a bright red butt.

you have to paint your butt red now and take a picture.......