SB...this is how they do it!! They want to be "friends"...not buying it. Think about how many girls you said "nice stuff" to in order to get what you really wanted. Or how people get converted to religions via missionaries....it's the same game. They think..well they haven't said straight up no so let's dance with them for awhile and we'll convert them.
The wife is the one doing the chasing right now because it's more socially acceptable then Mr Donkey Dick chasing you guys. Next thing will be just "come to our house for a bbq" or for "drinks" or your wife will be getting the invite over for "girl's time" and so on it goes....
There aren't many who just wake up one day and say "I'm gonna be a swinger". This is how it happens. You're being groomed! I promise.