any advice for the guys when they go down?

[Bikini Mod]

I'll bet you ladies that are complaining have ever told your man how you like it. When we're licking your twat we have no idea if it feels good unless you tell us.

Ummmmmm, believe me Plifter....when you offer oral to a woman and she sez, "No, dear, that's ok....you don't have to do that." it is because YOU DID NOT DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!

My hunny reads the boards regularly ( AND SO DOES MY EX!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahhahahaaaa ).

Believe me ....when The Hunny is lickin' the kitty or kissing my lips, holding me tightly or just being the goof that he is and making me laugh or reassuring me that everything will be ok when the ex pulls out some new shenanigan from his little bag of tricks to try and fuck me and the girls - I NEVER HESITATE to tell him just how glad I am that he is part of my life! (Conversely if I am upset - I do NOT hold back either. tee-hee)

Signs to look for to KNOW that you are doing a DAMNED FINE JOB at kitty-lickin':

1. Heavy moaning

2. Squeezes your head between her legs so intensely that your eyeballs are about to come flying out of your head (ya'll have seen pics of my legz.....they be pretty strong n' shit).

3. Cooter-Scootch - She actually starts to scootch away because she just can NOT TAKE IT ANY MORE!

4. SCREAMING FOR GOD TO TAKE HER NOW!!!..... Followed by begging and pleading to stop before she dies.

5. Finally, she just lays there in a fetal position with her ENTIRE BODY FLEXED and WRYTHING, her heart pounding as she tries to endure THE MOST INTENSE MULTIPLE ORGASMS SINCE.....well, since THE LAST TIME YOU TOUCHED HER!!!!


Are there any more questions Plifter?...ARE WE CLEAR?!

Dutch - you KNOW I LOVE YOU!

 

[Slice of Peach2]

I don't think Plifter will ever truly be clear on kitty lickin', Bikinimom.

I am glad you have someone to take you to heaven and back. You lucky lucky woman.

 

[Test boy]

I just love it when women complain about men. Makes me horny...guess that is why I am so horny. About 1/2 the women are not skilled at fellatio and the dick is pretty easy to find.

 

[Slice of Peach2]

Yes, the dick is easy to find, but every guy like his sucked different, right? How is a girl to know?

 

[allcutnobulk]

cooter scooch! lmao!!!!!

i've never heard the term cooter scooch before. i always compared it to driving a remote controlled car! it's really fun when you learn how to steer!

oh, and about the falatio thing. guys take charge of that situation. if she's not doing it right then he'll start ramming it down the back of her throat while holding onto her head. don't say you've never done it guys. my tip to the ladies on that is, while you're sucking away and you've got him deep in your mouth, just think of french kissing and start moving that tongue around. i know that always works for me. oh, a little more actual sucking. by just sliding up and down you tend get the teeth a rubbin. and we all know that ain't good.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'll be the first to admit that I don't think that felatio was ever my forte. I didn't ask for it much, so I will be honest, I wasn't all that much into reciprocation. I mean, yes, I would give surprize head while he was driving...but that was loooooong before kids - LOL!...I would also wake him in the middle of the night w/surprize head when I was "in the mood" (that continued till the bitter end) and I wouldn't mind warming him up with it.

However, The Hunny seems to be OK with my skill in this department..... I will ask though, to double check. I know this will sound really strange, but he is truly a gentleman and I don't think he would complain even if I was only "eh" at best. Which isn't fair at all. I want to please him as much as he does me. All he cares about is pleasing me. It has been so long since I have been with a man who put my needs and desires above his own that I must confess, it is foreign to me. But I am in it for the long haul and will do whatever it takes to make him as happy and satisfied as I am! See, I am BEYOND FORTUNATE that he cares so deeply for me.....and that is NO BS, just gospel truth.

 

[Ffactor]

bikinimom - you are a riot!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[HamHock]

Depends on the chick, but I usually have to take a walkman down there with me to help kill time. With ungroomed chicks, I like to keep an assortment of landscaping tools available to help me locate the final destination.....sometimes a pith helmut & goggles are necessary.

With fat chicks, a snorkel or some type of breathing apparatus is imperative as air supply can be extremely limited. A hydraulic lift can come in handy as well with the rotund, particularly if you find yourself trapped or are considering rolling that beast on her stomach.

 

[hard]

Depends on the chick, but I usually have to take a walkman down there with me to help kill time. With ungroomed chicks, I like to keep an assortment of landscaping tools available to help me locate the final destination.....sometimes a pith helmut & goggles are necessary.

With fat chicks, a snorkel or some type of breathing apparatus is imperative as air supply can be extremely limited. A hydraulic lift can come in handy as well with the rotund, particularly if you find yourself trapped or are considering rolling that beast on her stomach.

LMFAO - thanks for the great abs workout ham!! you're a riot. I know i'm gonna be smirkin next time i go clam diggin...

 

[Imnotdutch]

BM,
You cant sweet talk me- I'm onto your plan.......I bet that after world domination you'll be genetically engineering men to have 12 inch, all singing, all dancing tongues. And no doubt you'll make em all be 240lb and 6'4" with a 34 inch waist (personally I think anybody looking like that needs to do some heavy squatting....but thats prob just me )

Dutch - you KNOW I LOVE YOU!

Slice of Peach2,
Are you trying to say that all women aren't different?? Any man would disagree with you......else we'd pass down instruction manuals to successive male generations. At least you can easily find what you are looking for......so you only have to figure out what to do. We have to find it and figure out what to do.....thats more than most male brains can handle.