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beachhead06
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Gym Etiquette
By: Vincent J. Gill
1.)Remember, heavier = better, whether you can lift it properly or not.
2.)The harder you slam the weight on the floor after lifting it, the stronger and more badass you look (if you can actually crack the tile, you will get a 701 MUNNS power lifter award).
3.)When doing curls, you should feel it in your lower back more than your biceps.
4.)When bench pressing, your back should almost always be off of the bench.
5.)The towels in the gym are only there in case you forget yours to shower. The sweatier you leave the equipment, the more the next person will admire your obvious hard work.
6.)When you’re done lifting, just leave your weight lying around, the services people appreciate the workout they get putting them back at the end of the day.
7.)Leaving puddles of sweat on the floor, marks your territory…. Don’t wipe them up, smaller, weaker people will drink them for strength.
8.)Even if you don’t feel like actually lifting that day, simply just go around and critique everyone else…. Trust me, EVERYONE wants your opinion, even if they don’t ask.
9.)Randomly walk up and spot people, even if they don’t appear to be struggling. This will make them feel loved.
10.)When bench pressing extremely heavy weight, simply getting it off of the rack and immediately putting it back on is acceptable…. In fact, this is an even better workout than doing a full repetition.
11.)If you see someone lifting a weight that you don’t think is good enough, simply shout, “C’mon, you can do more than that!” Remember, it is your job to police everyone in the gym, everyone is there to please you.
12.)Don’t wear tank tops, wearing t-shirts with cut off sleeves is WAY more badass.
13.)If you want to seem like a real badass, put a bunch of death metal on your IPOD and blast it so loud that everyone around you can hear it.
14.)If you wear a shirt with company names like, “Muscletech” or, “BSN” everyone will automatically assume that you’re sponsored by them….. It’s a given.
15.)The louder you grunt, the heavier the weight looks.
16.)Whenever a woman enters the gym, grunt a lot louder.
17.)If you can’t actually lift the weight on the leg press machine with your legs, put your hands on your knees to help you get it up….
18.)It’s ok if you’re spotter is doing more work than you, it’s called a negative.
19.)If you don’t always have a shaker full of different colored liquid in your hand, you’re wrong.
20.)You and your buddies should shout encouraging comments about how buff the other one looks whenever they make a movement (I.E: Dude, your abs look so tight when you take a shit!). If you’re alone, just shout them to yourself.
21.)When counting reps out loud, say the actual number you’re on (I.E: ten) really, really quiet and immediately scream , “one thousand” after every repetition. This will make it appear to everyone in the gym as if you’ve actually done one thousand reps.
22.)If someone smaller than you appears to be struggling with dumbbells as he carries them over to the rack, walk up, offer to help him carry one and as he hands it to you, immediately pull your hands away and yell at him for dropping the weights on the floor!
#7, is my favorite!
This was originally written by my close gym and fellow gym rat Vincent J. Gill from my base.
By: Vincent J. Gill
1.)Remember, heavier = better, whether you can lift it properly or not.
2.)The harder you slam the weight on the floor after lifting it, the stronger and more badass you look (if you can actually crack the tile, you will get a 701 MUNNS power lifter award).
3.)When doing curls, you should feel it in your lower back more than your biceps.
4.)When bench pressing, your back should almost always be off of the bench.
5.)The towels in the gym are only there in case you forget yours to shower. The sweatier you leave the equipment, the more the next person will admire your obvious hard work.
6.)When you’re done lifting, just leave your weight lying around, the services people appreciate the workout they get putting them back at the end of the day.
7.)Leaving puddles of sweat on the floor, marks your territory…. Don’t wipe them up, smaller, weaker people will drink them for strength.
8.)Even if you don’t feel like actually lifting that day, simply just go around and critique everyone else…. Trust me, EVERYONE wants your opinion, even if they don’t ask.
9.)Randomly walk up and spot people, even if they don’t appear to be struggling. This will make them feel loved.
10.)When bench pressing extremely heavy weight, simply getting it off of the rack and immediately putting it back on is acceptable…. In fact, this is an even better workout than doing a full repetition.
11.)If you see someone lifting a weight that you don’t think is good enough, simply shout, “C’mon, you can do more than that!” Remember, it is your job to police everyone in the gym, everyone is there to please you.
12.)Don’t wear tank tops, wearing t-shirts with cut off sleeves is WAY more badass.
13.)If you want to seem like a real badass, put a bunch of death metal on your IPOD and blast it so loud that everyone around you can hear it.
14.)If you wear a shirt with company names like, “Muscletech” or, “BSN” everyone will automatically assume that you’re sponsored by them….. It’s a given.
15.)The louder you grunt, the heavier the weight looks.
16.)Whenever a woman enters the gym, grunt a lot louder.
17.)If you can’t actually lift the weight on the leg press machine with your legs, put your hands on your knees to help you get it up….
18.)It’s ok if you’re spotter is doing more work than you, it’s called a negative.
19.)If you don’t always have a shaker full of different colored liquid in your hand, you’re wrong.
20.)You and your buddies should shout encouraging comments about how buff the other one looks whenever they make a movement (I.E: Dude, your abs look so tight when you take a shit!). If you’re alone, just shout them to yourself.
21.)When counting reps out loud, say the actual number you’re on (I.E: ten) really, really quiet and immediately scream , “one thousand” after every repetition. This will make it appear to everyone in the gym as if you’ve actually done one thousand reps.
22.)If someone smaller than you appears to be struggling with dumbbells as he carries them over to the rack, walk up, offer to help him carry one and as he hands it to you, immediately pull your hands away and yell at him for dropping the weights on the floor!
#7, is my favorite!
This was originally written by my close gym and fellow gym rat Vincent J. Gill from my base.
