WTF is she thinking?

[Strongbow]

As some of you guys know from my posts, me and the wife and exactly on the best terms as of late. I finally asked what the problem was and quit trying to solve it, on my mind reading skills. This is what I got, and this is no shit, she said that she was kinda feeling disconnected from me because of the gym time I was putting in (which she was dead set against when I started back). Also that she did not know who I was building the big muscles for, my body was perfect and athletic before and that now I looked all hard and veiny like I was on steroids or something. (GOOD CALL) I really want my marriage to work, would she rather be with a F*ing marshmellow or something. This is kinda screwed up, don't you think?

 

[chris302001]

As some of you guys know from my posts, me and the wife and exactly on the best terms as of late. I finally asked what the problem was and quit trying to solve it, on my mind reading skills. This is what I got, and this is no shit, she said that she was kinda feeling disconnected from me because of the gym time I was putting in (which she was dead set against when I started back). Also that she did not know who I was building the big muscles for, my body was perfect and athletic before and that now I looked all hard and veiny like I was on steroids or something. (GOOD CALL) I really want my marriage to work, would she rather be with a F*ing marshmellow or something. This is kinda screwed up, don't you think?

Just keep reassuring her that its all good and that you love her.

 

[cindylou]

How much time are you spending at the gym?

Sounds like she needs to work on her self esteem a little

sometimes when other people around you change, you feel pressure to change yourself. Like you didnt accept yourself, will you still accept her?

Let her know that you love her no matter what she looks like and she should do the same for you. you just want to be happy. She should want you to be happy.....

 

[stephen4327]

yep and maybe just break the news. why lie? just explain yourself and if she still says no then just keep hiding it

 

[miplank]

Does she have low self-esteem? Sounds like she's worried that your bulking up for someone else.

 

[stosstruppe]

Marriage to work? Fuck it's only going to get worse. She rag on you when you go out for a few pints with the lads as well?

 

[cindylou]

She might not be attracted to the steroidy look either. Many women dont like that shit compared to just an athletic build. takes a special type of woman who likes the lifestyle to appreciate it......the rest will just think you are self centered and vain after awhile

 

[sixxtoes]

try to get her involved in your active life style. maybe she just feels left out

 

[Bikini Mod]

Shit, I bitch at my husband for NOT going to the gym.

How long you guys been married and how old are you? Is she feeling insecure about your relationship because of something new or has she always been insecure?

 

[musclemom]

If you're using juice and haven't discussed it with her she may really hate the hard juicer look because subconsciously she knows you're lying to her.

And another thought, the thing with most women (who aren't intensely into a fitness/weight lifting lifestyle) while they like their husbands to look decent, the vast, vast majority of wives really don't give a fuck if you look like you could be an underwear model (we have fears of competition, too, particularly since women have a shorter shelf life than men), women generally care far more about their husbands being healthy. If you're spending an hour or more every night at the gym, just to "Look" a certain way, then you're leaving your wife alone too much and she is going to start wondering why you're working out so much, is it a) to attract someone else or b) are you more passionate about how you look than you are with her?

 

[calveless wonder]

there are lots of women that don't want you to look better than them or attract extra attention.

so they do things to sabotage your the way you look (fatten you up, get you out of the gym etc).

it's a subconcious thing but they do. insecurity is a huge reason for it

 

[velvett]

As some of you guys know from my posts, me and the wife and exactly on the best terms as of late. I finally asked what the problem was and quit trying to solve it, on my mind reading skills. This is what I got, and this is no shit, she said that she was kinda feeling disconnected from me because of the gym time I was putting in (which she was dead set against when I started back). Also that she did not know who I was building the big muscles for, my body was perfect and athletic before and that now I looked all hard and veiny like I was on steroids or something. (GOOD CALL) I really want my marriage to work, would she rather be with a F*ing marshmellow or something. This is kinda screwed up, don't you think?

She recognizes that you are growing apart as a couple and perhaps your lifestyles differ and your hobbies are different from her but ultimately she's waiting for you to cheat on her. She is telling you I love you as you are but you only care how you and others think of you and you will look to have other poeple typically woman validate the hardwork you do in the gym without her.

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/elite-between-sheets/younger-girls-what-do-i-do-602261.html

And I think by reading your posts in this thread, her feelings are validated.

This is fairly serious so if you love this girl and you don't want another failed marriage reconize that this is not just a "women problen" you both own this and it will require both of you to fix it.

 

[Strongbow]

How much time are you spending at the gym?

Sounds like she needs to work on her self esteem a little

sometimes when other people around you change, you feel pressure to change yourself. Like you didnt accept yourself, will you still accept her?

Let her know that you love her no matter what she looks like and she should do the same for you. you just want to be happy. She should want you to be happy.....

Thats the whole thing, I work out while Im on the job. I usually go for an hour and a half everyday, but its always while Im at work. Its not like I would be with her if I were not at the gym. I ve always been into athletic stuff to, for God's sake the only reason she ever looked my way was because of the baseball thing. I must be a total dumbass. And check this she knows I juiced when I was a player and when I got hurt, she suggested I use "that stuff" to get my ass back on the field. And I was a helluva lot bigger then than I am now. I was 195 lbs when we started dating. This whole thing sux.

 

[Strongbow]

Just keep reassuring her that its all good and that you love her.

Everyday bro, every fricking day.

 

[Strongbow]

Does she have low self-esteem? Sounds like she's worried that your bulking up for someone else.

I am bulking up for someone else, ME.

 

[Strongbow]

try to get her involved in your active life style. maybe she just feels left out

She is such a lilly white prude dude, shes got that salad and water diet body, she aint gonna sweat it out with me in the gym.

 

[Strongbow]

Shit, I bitch at my husband for NOT going to the gym.

How long you guys been married and how old are you? Is she feeling insecure about your relationship because of something new or has she always been insecure?

I was 33 in Feb. She has always been a little insecure, but she always made me feel like i was a trophy around her high and mighty ass freinds. Like my husband is buff and yours is a tub of shit, kinda thing. Almost like look what i lay down with at nite, but she sure aint laying down with hommie anymore. We have been married for bout 8 yrs.

 

[chris302001]

She is such a lilly white prude dude, shes got that salad and water diet body, she aint gonna sweat it out with me in the gym.

If that's your attitude towards her, and hers towards you, maybe ya'll arent cut out for each other?

 

[txbondsman]

yep and maybe just break the news. why lie? just explain yourself and if she still says no then just keep hiding it

I wouldn't tell her shit!

I would however show her attention more, invite her to the gym again even though she won't go. She's got some self-esteim issues, what woman doesn't. (all EF women excluded of course... BM, I don't need no War and Peace post why that's not true from you either!

I do know it's hard to hug a cactus, I have that to do everyday. I'd just tell her YOU like the look, it makes YOU feel better, then get ready for the ass chewing about how your a narcisstic pig... lol

she needs some reassurance bro, try a little harder in the area...

 

[drsketch]

As some of you guys know from my posts, me and the wife and exactly on the best terms as of late. I finally asked what the problem was and quit trying to solve it, on my mind reading skills. This is what I got, and this is no shit, she said that she was kinda feeling disconnected from me because of the gym time I was putting in (which she was dead set against when I started back). Also that she did not know who I was building the big muscles for, my body was perfect and athletic before and that now I looked all hard and veiny like I was on steroids or something. (GOOD CALL) I really want my marriage to work, would she rather be with a F*ing marshmellow or something. This is kinda screwed up, don't you think?

dIVORCE HER

 

[Strongbow]

She recognizes that you are growing apart as a couple and perhaps your lifestyles differ and your hobbies are different from her but ultimately she's waiting for you to cheat on her. She is telling you I love you as you are but you only care how you and others think of you and you will look to have other poeple typically woman validate the hardwork you do in the gym without her.

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/elite-between-sheets/younger-girls-what-do-i-do-602261.html

And I think by reading your posts in this thread, her feelings are validated.

This is fairly serious so if you love this girl and you don't want another failed marriage reconize that this is not just a "women problen" you both own this and it will require both of you to fix it.

Uhh what? Why is she waiting on me to cheat? Oh my bad you mean shes pushing me to cheat, and trust me Ive passed up on a lot of women to see our marriage thru. I work out for me sister, not anybody else. I dont walk around looking in mirrors and stuff, making sure my sleeves are up so my arms will show and shit like that. I didnt even take my shirt off at the kids pool party, so that I would not be seen by the other moms. Im about as modest as I can be.

 

[velvett]

Uhh what? Why is she waiting on me to cheat? Oh my bad you mean shes pushing me to cheat, and trust me Ive passed up on a lot of women to see our marriage thru. I work out for me sister, not anybody else. I dont walk around looking in mirrors and stuff, making sure my sleeves are up so my arms will show and shit like that. I didnt even take my shirt off at the kids pool party, so that I would not be seen by the other moms. Im about as modest as I can be.

That's what I said - you are about you. You only pay attention to your wife because you want to GET LAID otherwise it's pretty clear you can't stand her.

Your own words.

Hell she would probably press charges. Ive thought about telling her of my abuse of AAS and how it makes me want to screw anything that moves to see if that would help. Shes a PRUDE and all these chicks do is talk shit, IM getting very Weak.

Thats only if she gets horney BRO, Im really fucked here my options are cheat, take the shit from wifey, or cheat, or just let my nuts xplode or cheat. What u think? Oh and all my yung hotties are into pics and video so they say. Ive tried to be patient and understanding with the wife, but DAMN.

We are totally diffrent? She hates that everybody loves me, and she has few friends. I know that not everyone loves me, but most of the home town folks act like they do. She says I pay everyone else more attention than her, which is total bullshit. I kiss her ass way more than I should to try to counter act this NO ATTENTION bullshit, and at home its all about her. The once a month that there is sex its all about her, I have made it all about her. Honestly I think I have spoiled her ass to this point. When she has an orgasm, sex is over, I got about two min. from that point to get mine and get the fuck off of her. Im too heavy on top of her, my shit is too big to do from the back, you name it I have heard it. What would you do bro? My shit wouldn't too big to hit from behind 8 yrs ago, when she was trying to put her hooks in my ass. And now its like I don't exist. I know she enjoys having sex and that she is sexually satisfied, when we do, so why would she not want it more. Im a dumb ass I guess, I just dont know.

On a trial separation

I have a 250,000 mortgage Im fucked regardless. But I am at the point I d rather be fucked and get fucked, than to just be fucking hopeless. One can not put a price tag on peace of mind. Or maybe Im just a pig headed, self absorbed, steroid abusing, sex maniac who cant see past his on dick to see that there is another side to this, but I have tried to see her side, her reasons, her feelings, and all i get is that sumtimes I just like to be held and held she gets, but i my friend need to be screwed, long and hard. She gets held and I never get anything I need from this. I would never wish this on my worst enemy, it is emotionally and mentally exhausting .

Thanks Dude for your concern, I must say this though, the next piece of ass I get regardless of age, better pack her lunch, 20 min. aint gonna get it. If I ever slip on this matter I'll make it a rememberable event, I promise. The Bitch of the whole thing is I really love my wife, and she just dont have any desire to be with me sexually. So WTF am I supposed to do. Have tried every piece of advice on this thread over the last week. Did have sex with her earlier last week, but that was it for the month of July. Its almost like Golf, one good shot every 18 holes is enuff to keep you coming back for more humilation and frustration. And I know its over for this month cause were rite back to, the doors open, or the kids are up and Im like shit I can close the fucking door and put the kids to bed. Its like being married to a nun and couped up in the bedroom, with the Hooters chicks banging on the door. Just really fucked up.

Drsketch gave you the best advice here.

DIVORCE HER

 

[musclemom]

She is such a lilly white prude dude, shes got that salad and water diet body, she aint gonna sweat it out with me in the gym.

I was 33 in Feb. She has always been a little insecure, but she always made me feel like i was a trophy around her high and mighty ass freinds. Like my husband is buff and yours is a tub of shit, kinda thing. Almost like look what i lay down with at nite, but she sure aint laying down with hommie anymore. We have been married for bout 8 yrs.

Oh man you said more in those two posts that you could possibly have imagined.

I'd like to wish you lots of luck with that whole marriage thing.

Y'all don't have kids, do you?

 

[stosstruppe]

Let us know how it works out dude! (Providing you can get internet access after she gets the family home, car and pet)

 

[chris302001]

Oh man you said more in those two posts that you could possibly have imagined.

I'd like to wish you lots of luck with that whole marriage thing.

Y'all don't have kids, do you?

I hope they dont....

 

[Strongbow]

Oh man you said more in those two posts that you could possibly have imagined.

I'd like to wish you lots of luck with that whole marriage thing.

Y'all don't have kids, do you?

Yea, two, thats why Im trying my best to make it work.

 

[drsketch]

its not cheating bro, its human nature to have multiple women..

 

[musclemom]

I hope they dont....

Yeah, they do I just read the second post Velvett quoted.

 

[Strongbow]

That's what I said - you are about you. You only pay attention to your wife because you want to GET LAID otherwise it's pretty clear you can't stand her.

Your own words.

Yea your right Im a self centered asshole, who only thinks of his dick. So why have I still not cheated. You said it shes waiting for it to happen. Did you bother to read about all of the things that I do at home to make her life easier. But those arent the things that a selfcentered ego manic does, washing and folding clothes, cooking supper, moping, sweeping, taking complete care of my kids. Oh and I still keep the grass cut to. Does your husband get into any of this kinda of stuff ? I sure dont do it cause I like it. I do it to help her and make it easier for her, but Im an asshole Right. And yea I really dont like her ass that much, so I guess you and sketch were right.





Drsketch gave you the best advice here.

DIVORCE HER

Yea your right Im a self centered asshole, who only thinks of his dick. So why have I still not cheated. You said it shes waiting for it to happen. Did you bother to read about all of the things that I do at home to make her life easier. But those arent the things that a selfcentered ego manic does, washing and folding clothes, cooking supper, moping, sweeping, taking complete care of my kids. Oh and I still keep the grass cut to. Does your husband get into any of this kinda of stuff ? I sure dont do it cause I like it. I do it to help her and make it easier for her, but Im an asshole Right. And yea I really dont like her ass that much, so I guess you and sketch were right

 

[velvett]

Yea your right Im a self centered asshole, who only thinks of his dick. So why have I still not cheated. You said it shes waiting for it to happen. Did you bother to read about all of the things that I do at home to make her life easier. But those arent the things that a selfcentered ego manic does, washing and folding clothes, cooking supper, moping, sweeping, taking complete care of my kids. Oh and I still keep the grass cut to. Does your husband get into any of this kinda of stuff ? I sure dont do it cause I like it. I do it to help her and make it easier for her, but Im an asshole Right. And yea I really dont like her ass that much, so I guess you and sketch were right

I read it all, the good and the bad and the point is that you are not compatible and you do harbor resentment towards her (as does she toward you). She may or may not have deceived you to get you to marry her we can't say for sure, perhaps she doesn't love you they way you want to be or you her, so she's insecure, you're egocentric but you're both at fault and from here it doesn't seem to matter what you do or not do.

Sometimes you just have cut the cord and move on.

 

[Strongbow]

I read it all, the good and the bad and the point is that you are not compatible and you do harbor resentment towards her (as does she toward you). She may or may not have deceived you to get you to marry her we can't say for sure, perhaps she doesn't love you they way you want to be or you her, so she's insecure, you're egocentric but you're both at fault and from here it doesn't seem to matter what you do or not do.

Sometimes you just have cut the cord and move on.

Yea I guess your right, theres a whole nother story to all of this, that Im sure nobody wants to hear, but I guess in the end it all comes back to the same place. Even thou Im a self centered asshole, i have tried. I refuse to lose my soul, to fit a mold for someone else. Its just funny that even thou Im the problem, Im the only one of us who has tried to find a solution. I know women say they have sex when they feel connected, but sometimes a man needs sex to feel connected. That may make me look like an even bigger asshole, than you already think I am, but no truer words have ever been spoken. If there are any honest dudes at EF, you would back me up on that. Maybe I just aint the marrying type, who knows, I sure as hell don't.

 

[musclemom]

Yea, two, thats why Im trying my best to make it work.

Keeping a marriage together that has problems takes a substantial amount of work in terms of compassion and communication. It takes both partners on the same page. If one partner is giving and the other is just taking then resentment inevitably builds. It is possible to surmount things like different interests, but you have to share the same overall goals and dreams.

More important than anything, you both have to WANT to make it work. I can assure you, if both of you are not on the same page on that issue then the problems become almost insurmountable.

You need to talk to her. You need to talk seriously to her and you need to figure out what you both want, long term. If you both want to stay married then you need to start working together, and you guys may even need professional counseling to learn how to communicate clearly and not be manipulated or manipulative, because you, sir, are not the house slave or arm candy, and making love is not something that a wife should dangle in front of her husband's nose like a carrot once a month.

Keeping a marriage together just for the sake of children fucks the kids up way worse than divorce. Kids are sensitive animals with good imaginations. Do you know how many kids blame themselves when their parents have problems? Well think about living in that non stop tension situation, it tears kids up whether they show it or not.

Talk to your wife, man, get her to talk to you.

 

[velvett]

Yea I guess your right, theres a whole nother story to all of this, that Im sure nobody wants to hear, but I guess in the end it all comes back to the same place. Even thou Im a self centered asshole, i have tried. I refuse to lose my soul, to fit a mold for someone else. Its just funny that even thou Im the problem, Im the only one of us who has tried to find a solution. I know women say they have sex when they feel connected, but sometimes a man needs sex to feel connected. That may make me look like an even bigger asshole, than you already think I am, but no truer words have ever been spoken. If there are any honest dudes at EF, you would back me up on that. Maybe I just aint the marrying type, who knows, I sure as hell don't.

I have said more than one time here that this is both your problem not just you or her which means it would take both parties to make it work.

Maybe ask yourself why you've choosen marriage and why to this person (whomever this person is or will be)

 

[ricco561]

Keeping a marriage together that has problems takes a substantial amount of work in terms of compassion and communication. It takes both partners on the same page. If one partner is giving and the other is just taking then resentment inevitably builds. It is possible to surmount things like different interests, but you have to share the same overall goals and dreams.

More important than anything, you both have to WANT to make it work. I can assure you, if both of you are not on the same page on that issue then the problems become almost insurmountable.

You need to talk to her. You need to talk seriously to her and you need to figure out what you both want, long term. If you both want to stay married then you need to start working together, and you guys may even need professional counseling to learn how to communicate clearly and not be manipulated or manipulative, because you, sir, are not the house slave or arm candy, and making love is not something that a wife should dangle in front of her husband's nose like a carrot once a month.

Keeping a marriage together just for the sake of children fucks the kids up way worse than divorce. Kids are sensitive animals with good imaginations. Do you know how many kids blame themselves when their parents have problems? Well think about living in that non stop tension situation, it tears kids up whether they show it or not.

Talk to your wife, man, get her to talk to you.

Communication is the key.
Don't stay for the kids and don't stay for the wife. You have to buy in as well.
But talk to her.
And decide. More people stay in a relationship because they are afraid of the alternative.

 

[Strongbow]

Keeping a marriage together that has problems takes a substantial amount of work in terms of compassion and communication. It takes both partners on the same page. If one partner is giving and the other is just taking then resentment inevitably builds. It is possible to surmount things like different interests, but you have to share the same overall goals and dreams.

More important than anything, you both have to WANT to make it work. I can assure you, if both of you are not on the same page on that issue then the problems become almost insurmountable.

You need to talk to her. You need to talk seriously to her and you need to figure out what you both want, long term. If you both want to stay married then you need to start working together, and you guys may even need professional counseling to learn how to communicate clearly and not be manipulated or manipulative, because you, sir, are not the house slave or arm candy, and making love is not something that a wife should dangle in front of her husband's nose like a carrot once a month.

Keeping a marriage together just for the sake of children fucks the kids up way worse than divorce. Kids are sensitive animals with good imaginations. Do you know how many kids blame themselves when their parents have problems? Well think about living in that non stop tension situation, it tears kids up whether they show it or not.

Talk to your wife, man, get her to talk to you.

I have honestly, tried to talk to her. She just seems content to raise the kids and make our marriage a big act, so that we are still in touch with the community. She thinks in her mind and I have heard this in the past, that she saved me from myself. I at one time had a very bright future in baseball and to make a long story short got my knee torn literally to pieces on a freak play. I was already at the double A level, right out of highschool. So until that day (AUG.3, 1995) i was a given to make it to the Majors. We all know that means money and all sorts of good stuff. So the fallen superstar comes home feeling sorry for his self and wishing he had died that nite, laying on that field rolling in his own puke. Along comes the beautiful do gooder, who will pick me up, brush me off, save me from myself. After two years of rehab, I was supposed to pick up where I left off. Didnt all work out that way and the rest is my life as you know it. So yea I feel a little used, and I have always felt like I let my family down, including her to a point, I guess thats why I have always tried to do more than my part around the house and with the kids. But I have never been a bad husband, just a failure, I guess. I have done the best I could to provide and we aint exactly living in poverty. So whats up with her?

 

[musclemom]

I have honestly, tried to talk to her. She just seems content to raise the kids and make our marriage a big act, so that we are still in touch with the community. She thinks in her mind and I have heard this in the past, that she saved me from myself. I at one time had a very bright future in baseball and to make a long story short got my knee torn literally to pieces on a freak play. I was already at the double A level, right out of highschool. So until that day (AUG.3, 1995) i was a given to make it to the Majors. We all know that means money and all sorts of good stuff. So the fallen superstar comes home feeling sorry for his self and wishing he had died that nite, laying on that field rolling in his own puke. Along comes the beautiful do gooder, who will pick me up, brush me off, save me from myself. After two years of rehab, I was supposed to pick up where I left off. Didnt all work out that way and the rest is my life as you know it. So yea I feel a little used, and I have always felt like I let my family down, including her to a point, I guess thats why I have always tried to do more than my part around the house and with the kids. But I have never been a bad husband, just a failure, I guess. I have done the best I could to provide and we aint exactly living in poverty. So whats up with her?

Look, I don't know you, but from just what you've put up here and in several other posts/threads you're not in a healthy relationship either with your wife or yourself. Ask her to go to couples therapy with you. If she won't go with you, go find a therapist for yourself and fix your relationship with you, because yes, you had a bad break (no pun intended) but you cannot continue to allow that incident to shape your life going forward. You are not a failure and you need to get that shit out of your head and EF is not the place to do it or try to fix someone's life.

You need to talk to someone, unburden yourself and get some things straight and get some different perspective on things. Because trust me, if you don't get beyond those feelings of failure, of not being valuable for YOU, then you will telegraph those feelings to your children. Your kids will grow up with the exact same feelings you have, and they won't know why.

Children learn what they live. They model themselves after their parents, they model their relationships after what they see at home. Think about that. If your wife isn't willing to change, that's her business, you can't change her. If for no other reason, talk to a therapist for your kid's sake.

 

[chris302001]

I have honestly, tried to talk to her. She just seems content to raise the kids and make our marriage a big act, so that we are still in touch with the community. She thinks in her mind and I have heard this in the past, that she saved me from myself. I at one time had a very bright future in baseball and to make a long story short got my knee torn literally to pieces on a freak play. I was already at the double A level, right out of highschool. So until that day (AUG.3, 1995) i was a given to make it to the Majors. We all know that means money and all sorts of good stuff. So the fallen superstar comes home feeling sorry for his self and wishing he had died that nite, laying on that field rolling in his own puke. Along comes the beautiful do gooder, who will pick me up, brush me off, save me from myself. After two years of rehab, I was supposed to pick up where I left off. Didnt all work out that way and the rest is my life as you know it. So yea I feel a little used, and I have always felt like I let my family down, including her to a point, I guess thats why I have always tried to do more than my part around the house and with the kids. But I have never been a bad husband, just a failure, I guess. I have done the best I could to provide and we aint exactly living in poverty. So whats up with her?

Maybe she thought she had a free ride with you doing your baseball thing, and since you got injured and cant play, she feels fucked over for not geting this big elaborate lifestyle she had planned out in her head......... Hell I dont know.

 

[ricco561]

Look, I don't know you, but from just what you've put up here and in several other posts/threads you're not in a healthy relationship either with your wife or yourself. Ask her to go to couples therapy with you. If she won't go with you, go find a therapist for yourself and fix your relationship with you, because yes, you had a bad break (no pun intended) but you cannot continue to allow that incident to shape your life going forward. You are not a failure and you need to get that shit out of your head and EF is not the place to do it or try to fix someone's life.

You need to talk to someone, unburden yourself and get some things straight and get some different perspective on things. Because trust me, if you don't get beyond those feelings of failure, of not being valuable for YOU, then you will telegraph those feelings to your children. Your kids will grow up with the exact same feelings you have, and they won't know why.

Children learn what they live. They model themselves after their parents, they model their relationships after what they see at home. Think about that. If your wife isn't willing to change, that's her business, you can't change her. If for no other reason, talk to a therapist for your kid's sake.

Nail---------hammer

 

[Bikini Mod]

I wouldn't tell her shit!

I would however show her attention more, invite her to the gym again even though she won't go. She's got some self-esteim issues, what woman doesn't. (all EF women excluded of course... BM, I don't need no War and Peace post why that's not true from you either!

I do know it's hard to hug a cactus, I have that to do everyday. I'd just tell her YOU like the look, it makes YOU feel better, then get ready for the ass chewing about how your a narcisstic pig... lol

she needs some reassurance bro, try a little harder in the area...

You know, I have always respected you - but now my respect for you has increased exponentially. I don't know many other men who would give this advice; shows what you are made of and what I have come to understand A MAN - a TRUE TEXAN MAN IS.

*My hat is off to you*

 

[heavy_duty]

As some of you guys know from my posts, me and the wife and exactly on the best terms as of late. I finally asked what the problem was and quit trying to solve it, on my mind reading skills. This is what I got, and this is no shit, she said that she was kinda feeling disconnected from me because of the gym time I was putting in (which she was dead set against when I started back). Also that she did not know who I was building the big muscles for, my body was perfect and athletic before and that now I looked all hard and veiny like I was on steroids or something. (GOOD CALL) I really want my marriage to work, would she rather be with a F*ing marshmellow or something. This is kinda screwed up, don't you think?

Women want you to spend time doing more than just lifting weights.
(a) Time with the children
(b) Time with them
(c) Time doing laundry
(d) Time doing dishes
(e) Time fixing and improving shit around the house
(f) Time buying groceries
last but not least, time at the gym.

 

[Strongbow]

Look, I don't know you, but from just what you've put up here and in several other posts/threads you're not in a healthy relationship either with your wife or yourself. Ask her to go to couples therapy with you. If she won't go with you, go find a therapist for yourself and fix your relationship with you, because yes, you had a bad break (no pun intended) but you cannot continue to allow that incident to shape your life going forward. You are not a failure and you need to get that shit out of your head and EF is not the place to do it or try to fix someone's life.

You need to talk to someone, unburden yourself and get some things straight and get some different perspective on things. Because trust me, if you don't get beyond those feelings of failure, of not being valuable for YOU, then you will telegraph those feelings to your children. Your kids will grow up with the exact same feelings you have, and they won't know why.

Children learn what they live. They model themselves after their parents, they model their relationships after what they see at home. Think about that. If your wife isn't willing to change, that's her business, you can't change her. If for no other reason, talk to a therapist for your kid's sake.

I have talked to several to try to get past this whole thing with myself. I aint some crazy guy waiting to explode in the grocery store. The more I talk about this thing, the more I think about it. You know if I had made the turn diffrent, if the second baseman had feed me the ball correctly, if I would have just let that one go, you know the whole what you could have done diffrent thing. But in all honesty, shit happens sometimes and thats just the way it is, I get that. Its the place that I live and the people around me who will never be able to get over it. Im a fair looking guy in pretty damn good shape, I dont need anybody to feel sorry for me. Thank you thou, cause sometimes it helps to just say it, and get it off my chest. I just dont understand this whole thing with not likeing the way I look and the gym and all, it just dont add up to me. My kids seem to be great, no stress with them, my little boy is the super stud. Switch Hitting speed demon at the ripe old age of ten.

 

[Arabian]

It sounds like she may be tryinig to cover up her own misdeads,,,,

 

[heavy_duty]

I have talked to several to try to get past this whole thing with myself. I aint some crazy guy waiting to explode in the grocery store. The more I talk about this thing, the more I think about it. You know if I had made the turn diffrent, if the second baseman had feed me the ball correctly, if I would have just let that one go, you know the whole what you could have done diffrent thing. But in all honesty, shit happens sometimes and thats just the way it is, I get that. Its the place that I live and the people around me who will never be able to get over it. Im a fair looking guy in pretty damn good shape, I dont need anybody to feel sorry for me. Thank you thou, cause sometimes it helps to just say it, and get it off my chest. I just dont understand this whole thing with not likeing the way I look and the gym and all, it just dont add up to me. My kids seem to be great, no stress with them, my little boy is the super stud. Switch Hitting speed demon at the ripe old age of ten.

move to another state

 

[musclemom]

I have talked to several to try to get past this whole thing with myself. I aint some crazy guy waiting to explode in the grocery store. The more I talk about this thing, the more I think about it. You know if I had made the turn diffrent, if the second baseman had feed me the ball correctly, if I would have just let that one go, you know the whole what you could have done diffrent thing. But in all honesty, shit happens sometimes and thats just the way it is, I get that. Its the place that I live and the people around me who will never be able to get over it. Im a fair looking guy in pretty damn good shape, I dont need anybody to feel sorry for me. Thank you thou, cause sometimes it helps to just say it, and get it off my chest. I just dont understand this whole thing with not likeing the way I look and the gym and all, it just dont add up to me. My kids seem to be great, no stress with them, my little boy is the super stud. Switch Hitting speed demon at the ripe old age of ten.

I'm going to tell you something and I'd really like you to take it to heart, I don't expect it to change your life or even be something that you can do immediately but I'm really serious here (because I don't think you have done it). Let the past stay in the past and forgive yourself.

Shakespeare said it more eloquently, "Of all the words of tongue and men, the saddest of all, it might have been."

Now, assuming that you have done that, if the people around you express disappointment in you because you suffered an INJURY, you need new people in your life because the values of those assholes are utterly fucked up.

Jesus, look at someone like Chris Reeves, for crying out loud. That fucker fell off a horse and look what he lost! And that man was more loved and respected the day he died than he was at the top of his game!

You are worth far more than what you earn or what you look like. What is valuable is your heart, your mind and your spirit and if you don't have people in your life who value those things, the things that make you truly valuable and unique, you'll never be truly happy.

 

[heavy_duty]

word up.
get the hell away from anybody who's going to remind you about the accident.

bro I hope you aint gonna push your kid to play pro ball either....I've seen that movie and it doesnt end happily ever after.

 

[Strongbow]

I'm going to tell you something and I'd really like you to take it to heart, I don't expect it to change your life or even be something that you can do immediately but I'm really serious here (because I don't think you have done it). Let the past stay in the past and forgive yourself.

Shakespeare said it more eloquently, "Of all the words of tongue and men, the saddest of all, it might have been."

Now, assuming that you have done that, if the people around you express disappointment in you because you suffered an INJURY, you need new people in your life because the values of those assholes are utterly fucked up.

Jesus, look at someone like Chris Reeves, for crying out loud. That fucker fell off a horse and look what he lost! And that man was more loved and respected the day he died than he was at the top of his game!

You are worth far more than what you earn or what you look like. What is valuable is your heart, your mind and your spirit and if you don't have people in your life who value those things, the things that make you truly valuable and unique, you'll never be truly happy.

Thanks for your time and your input. You seem to be a great women, the man in your life is a lucky Dude. Ill try to keep what you have said in mind. Thanks Again.

 

[Strongbow]

word up.
get the hell away from anybody who's going to remind you about the accident.

bro I hope you aint gonna push your kid to play pro ball either....I've seen that movie and it doesnt end happily ever after.

Never had to push my kids, it was like they were all born with this instinct to just play. I have not mentioned the fact that I have an 18 yrs old son, who will be playing Division 1 College football this year. Yea I started with the kids early. He is 6' 1" 185 lbs defensive back who runs the forty in 4.38. The younger boy is a damn freak of nature a baseball machine, but loves the football. The only thing any of my kids want to do is pump iron and play ball, especially the younger boy. Trust me I would never push them to play, because the younger one has already got a cult following around town, funny how small town people hang their hopes and dreams on a kids shoulders aint it. Sounds like me all over again. Your right I need to move.

 

[EnderJE]

Dude, I don't know your situation or know all the details or know what you and your wife is going through. All I can do is wish you the best of luck. It looks like you've got to make a serious decision in the very near future because it looks like you're at the crossroads of sorts and need to move forward in some fashion.

 

[seaking420]

good luck in your situation............relationship problems SUCK!!! and are very draining.

So if your 33 and you have a son thats 18 you had him at 15 right??

 

[Strongbow]

good luck in your situation............relationship problems SUCK!!! and are very draining.

So if your 33 and you have a son thats 18 you had him at 15 right??

Yea I was seduced by an older women, unwillingly of course. She took much advantage of me.

 

[Strongbow]

Yea I was seduced by an older women, unwillingly of course. She took much advantage of me.

That was supposed to be a joke, she was 17 (his mother). I was a very good footbal player and the cheer leaders really liked to take care of me. Some of you guys need to lightnen up, Chris.

 

[gonelifting]

Is it illegal in your state to kill her?


jk man.

I stopped reading after a few posts, but I'm very confident you've had great advise so far. good luck man! Life does suck sometimes, but YOU are in the driver's seat. YOU and whoever wants to come for the ride.

 

[heavy_duty]

A lot of us almost got to the big leagues but we are over it now. Time to move on people. There is life to live.

 

[ricco561]

My boy's goin a play in the big leagues.
My boy's goin............
Sorry.......drifted off there for a minute.

 

[Strongbow]

My boy's goin a play in the big leagues.
My boy's goin............
Sorry.......drifted off there for a minute.

Is that his picture on your avatar? Looks like a chip off of the old block.

 

[ricco561]

Is that his picture on your avatar? Looks like a chip off of the old block.

That'd be my boy.
J/K
That's me.