Wife or Girl Friend

[solidspine]

It is Thursday AM 4:30 California Time, I will meet her this morning, have a serious conversation, go to an AA meeting, then work on putting this mess behind me for life.


If you are spiritual person I appreciate your thoughts and prayers

 

[stilleto]

It is Thursday AM 4:30 California Time, I will meet her this morning, have a serious conversation, go to an AA meeting, then work on putting this mess behind me for life.


If you are spiritual person I appreciate your thoughts and prayers

good deal.
keep lose perspective on what's important in your life and what could really mess it up.
probably similar thoughts to when you gave up drinking, so that AA meeting could be a great thing.
good luck.

 

[sardonicone]

Anyone here have a situation where they are torn between there wife and a girl friend.

Please don’t remind me that is wrong, just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat.

Not saying I am, just curious.

Wife and girlfriend?

No.

Girlfriend and Girlfriend? Yes.

Now that's not to say I haven't had feelings for others since I've been married.

I just never made it to where my friendship with another person crossed any lines.

 

[sardonicone]

remember something...

everything may seem rosy with the girlfriend- but she's not the one doing your laundry or making you dinner or helping to pay the bills, etc. Her sole job as a girlfriend is to listen to you complain about your terrible marriage, and to be the sexy, pretty thing you wish you were married to.

both of those things are easy for her, because she has an agenda. Your wifes agenda, on the other hand, is keeping your family safe and taken care of, and nomatter how much you may think having a gf isn't affecting your marriage... it is. and now she has to deal with that, even on a subtle level. Even if it means you just have a lack of sex drive or interest in what she has to say or how she feels- she's going to know it and react to it.

all your gf has to do is listen to you when you complain about your wife reacting.

it's easy to paint this picture of your future with your girlfriend, always being happy to see you home, the two of you screwing like rabbits then frolicking outside somewhere... but when its her turn to clean up after you or she's running up your credit card or going through your emails trying to find out what your up to, you're going to realize the evil that you know is often better than the evil that you don't.

What if your wife sucks at both those roles?

Just sayin'.

 

[mountain muscle]

Laughing my fat ass off...

Fixed for JH1.

 

[manny78]

Why should she be wasting her time with a guy who isn't in love with her?

Cuz divorce is expensive but then again, he should have thought about that before making the biggest mistake ever: getting married.

 

[Longhorn85]

remember something...

everything may seem rosy with the girlfriend- but she's not the one doing your laundry or making you dinner or helping to pay the bills, etc. Her sole job as a girlfriend is to listen to you complain about your terrible marriage, and to be the sexy, pretty thing you wish you were married to.

both of those things are easy for her, because she has an agenda. Your wifes agenda, on the other hand, is keeping your family safe and taken care of, and nomatter how much you may think having a gf isn't affecting your marriage... it is. and now she has to deal with that, even on a subtle level. Even if it means you just have a lack of sex drive or interest in what she has to say or how she feels- she's going to know it and react to it.

all your gf has to do is listen to you when you complain about your wife reacting.

it's easy to paint this picture of your future with your girlfriend, always being happy to see you home, the two of you screwing like rabbits then frolicking outside somewhere... but when its her turn to clean up after you or she's running up your credit card or going through your emails trying to find out what your up to, you're going to realize the evil that you know is often better than the evil that you don't.

Three pearls of wisdom embedded in the above post:

1) Don't talk to your girlfriend about your wife

2) Continue to fuck your wife and treat her well

3) Drop the girlfriend if she gets clingy

 

[stilleto]

What if your wife sucks at both those roles?

Just sayin'.

then get a divorce.

 

[Sassy69]

Good luck SS. Two things exist as of now:

- part of the relationship w/ the g/f is you seeking something you aren't getting from your own marriage -- that means the relationship w/ the g/f already has an unhealthy focus - meaning if you did actually get divorced and you didn't have that thrill of the secret affair or the frustrstion / bad feelings about the wife there to commiserate to the g/f about, what is the relationship w/ the g/f really based on then? W/o that aspect you may discover you were just looking for ANYONE other than your wife or just the THRILL of the affair to distract you from your wife.

- You're cheating on your wife - what person in their right mind would think they can trust you as a devoted SO since you've already demonstrated you cheat? Not far out of the realm of you doing it again to the person you are cheating with if you choose to go w/ them vs. your wife.

And everything that Stiletto said. If you aren't happy in your current situation, then tie that off first - its not fair to drag anyone else into that situation because they won't get the chance to have a relationship based on you & them - it will always be u, what you don't like or get from your wife, and what the other person can fill in. Eventually either you get caught, the g/f dumps you or you start getting the guilt trip & it eats you inside until you have to do something about it. The longer you continue, the worse it gets. Its only a mask for somethign else you aren't happy w/ and don't want to deal w/.

 

[feisty11975]

Subscribed!

I really am curious to see how this turns out.

Hes making the right choice, IMO