I also hear women say "my children come FIRST" often and in a dating situation I tend to agree but it happens in marriages as well. I had an epiphany last week when I was away from my child for several days with my husband, something we try to do a few times a year and was taking some heat from my family for not putting my daughter "first" when she became a bit homesick. My response to it was this:
"NO, I do not put my child first. I put my marriage first. Maybe that makes me a bad mother but I don't thinks so as the person who benefits the most from this is our daughter. She lives in a home where her parents love each other and I mean REALLY love each other. She does not experience the stress that many children do because mom and dad are either scrapping it out all the time or are totally apathetic toward each other. She doesn't lie awake at night wonder when or hoping that her parents will divorce. If she needs us we will both put her FIRST together but day in and day out we put each other first and our child a very close second.
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