Very valid comment.
But, if YOU KNOW up front that you would never marry her, then what is the sense of dating her? Not saying that ALL DATING leads to marriage... but it is part of the courtship ritual. I just don't see the point.
When guys hit on me - first words out of my mouth, "I have four children... not that you will ever meet them... just lettin' ya know... still wanna date?"
If the man declines then we smile and laugh and leave it at that. But believe it or not I have heard MANY men say, "I don't mind."
EXCUSE ME? You don't mind? What, like they are a handicap? Ummmmm yea, I am REALLY gonna want to jump on that! NOT.
Bottom line - be up front from the getco. And we are ALWAYS entitled to change our minds, HOWEVER, if you are going to date a woman with children you'd better be DAMNED sure that you know what you are doing before you involve THEM.
Any woman who would THRUST her children on a man early on is TROUBLE - pure and simple. Think about it... If it was your mom, would you want a whole string of men coming in and out of your life?
Also, I have told my girls (OOPS THERE I GO AGAIN - IN CONTEMPT!) that if they meet a man that I am dating that they do not like for WHATEVER REASON - I WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN - PERIOD!!! AND I MEAN THAT LITERALLY.
The guy knows this up front TOO....
As I said, I know it sounds selfish, but that is just how I am. My children will not be little forever. I would sooner die a miserable lonely death than to put "some guy" ahead of them.
They will be grown one day and then I will be free to do as I please. Until then, my ONLY COMMITMENT IS TO THEM... AND THEN ME.