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which would U rather be admired/respected or wel liked?

-Ariel-

-Ariel-

-Thandzilla-
Platinum
In our culture, there is an attitude that success is getting ahead, of achieving social recognition through obtaining a successful occupation, or being an artist with merit. However, in order to get ahead means to compete. One of the fundamental goals in western culture is to achieve respect, admiration for your accomplishments. It is also said that compliments that come from a voice that is admired tend to have more weight when coming from a voice that is admired rather than a voice that is well liked.

However, it is a fundamental trait as a human being that U wanna be well liked or connected to your peers. No one wants to be disdained. Now my question is would U rather be admired/respected or well liked by your community, or have more friends.

Now I know success is really a balance of the two. However if the two categories were admired/respected, but not well liked except by a few or Well liked but only admired barely above average. That is to say everyone loves u, however U are not exactly in the elite level of achievement or authority. Which would You choose? I"m watching undergrads take a final and kinda bored.
 
-Ariel- said:
In our culture, there is an attitude that success is getting ahead, of achieving social recognition through obtaining a successful occupation, or being an artist with merit. However, in order to get ahead means to compete. One of the fundamental goals in western culture is to achieve respect, admiration for your accomplishments. It is also said that compliments that come from a voice that is admired tend to have more weight when coming from a voice that is admired rather than a voice that is well liked.

However, it is a fundamental trait as a human being that U wanna be well liked or connected to your peers. No one wants to be disdained. Now my question is would U rather be admired/respected or well liked by your community, or have more friends.

Now I know success is really a balance of the two. However if the two categories were admired/respected, but not well liked except by a few or Well liked but only admired barely above average. That is to say everyone loves u, however U are not exactly in the elite level of achievement or authority. Which would You choose? I"m watching undergrads take a final and kinda bored.
Click to expand...

Moot point.

Name the 5 families that control all commerce on earth. (wealth wise)
 
-Ariel- said:
In our culture, there is an attitude that success is getting ahead, of achieving social recognition through obtaining a successful occupation, or being an artist with merit. However, in order to get ahead means to compete. One of the fundamental goals in western culture is to achieve respect, admiration for your accomplishments. It is also said that compliments that come from a voice that is admired tend to have more weight when coming from a voice that is admired rather than a voice that is well liked.

However, it is a fundamental trait as a human being that U wanna be well liked or connected to your peers. No one wants to be disdained. Now my question is would U rather be admired/respected or well liked by your community, or have more friends.

Now I know success is really a balance of the two. However if the two categories were admired/respected, but not well liked except by a few or Well liked but only admired barely above average. That is to say everyone loves u, however U are not exactly in the elite level of achievement or authority. Which would You choose? I"m watching undergrads take a final and kinda bored.
Click to expand...

i think the two go hand in hand. they are like, congruent. i feel like at work, i am respected but a lot of it is because I am well liked by my peers, as well as my superiors and also those who work for me. its all intertwined.
 
being well-liked brings you a sense of well-being and happiness, through bonding with your peers

being admired gives you an intense but brief high, like a drug, that comes from your ego being fed


It feels really good to be earn respect, and subconsciously this drives much of my behavior. I am trying to make a conscious shift towards well-liked, but i don't know if that's ulimately a good idea
 
Smurfy said:
i think the two go hand in hand. they are like, congruent. i feel like at work, i am respected but a lot of it is because I am well liked by my peers, as well as my superiors and also those who work for me. its all intertwined.
Click to expand...

+1

the two are not mutually exclusive.
 
how can a person be well liked if they aren't admired and respected?
 
i think the example ariel is getting at is like a barber or butcher, who everyone in town knows and likes, but doesn't exactly admire.

vs a prof. who has done brilliant work in his field but is a douchebag to students and colleagues
 
-Ariel- said:
In our culture, there is an attitude that success is getting ahead, of achieving social recognition through obtaining a successful occupation, or being an artist with merit. However, in order to get ahead means to compete. One of the fundamental goals in western culture is to achieve respect, admiration for your accomplishments. It is also said that compliments that come from a voice that is admired tend to have more weight when coming from a voice that is admired rather than a voice that is well liked.

However, it is a fundamental trait as a human being that U wanna be well liked or connected to your peers. No one wants to be disdained. Now my question is would U rather be admired/respected or well liked by your community, or have more friends.

Now I know success is really a balance of the two. However if the two categories were admired/respected, but not well liked except by a few or Well liked but only admired barely above average. That is to say everyone loves u, however U are not exactly in the elite level of achievement or authority. Which would You choose? I"m watching undergrads take a final and kinda bored.
Click to expand...


Depends, it changes throughout our life, as you get older, your desires and measure of success changes..

Respect ?? depends on what motivates the respect, fear?? honor due to sacrifice, awe.. it goes on..
Liked?? that empowers people to hurt you, thus we want to be liked however one must never adjust your values to accommodate a persons desire that do not have the same value system as you..

Admired?? again, be true to yourself and what you hold most dear, all the other things are fleeting, and money?? you can always make more..
 
cindylou said:
I'm an example of that

I consider myself very well liked irl, but not sure if anyone really admires me, or respects me.

Maybe they just put up with me
Click to expand...


hmmm.
why do people like you?
is it because you're very nice? very funny? are you very giving?


i think at least for nice and giving- that would gain admiration and respect. The only time i can see it NOT going hand in hand is for 'funny'. I suppose plenty of people like Lisa Lampinelli or andrew dice clay, but they don't respect them.
 
stilleto said:
how can a person be well liked if they aren't admired and respected?
Click to expand...
I respect Donald Trump but I probably wouldn't like him. As for the opposite, doesn't seem feasible.
 
You can obtain a happy medium, but it's a delicate balance and takes skill and tact.

Fact: not everyone will like you

Throughout my life, i've managed to obtain a happy medium with being well respected and being well liked in almost any setting.I've never strived to create it that way, but typically my realness +compassion and respect for others along with my general charisma creates that

Given the option, i'd take respect in a heartbeat. Many people can be well liked via seeking approval or being fake/lying. Respect usually involves integrity and being true to yourself. Not everyone will like that...fuck em
 
Stuart Smalley: I deserve good things, I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with.

Stuart Smalley: I want you to look in that mirror, and I want you to repeat after me: "I am a worthy human being."
Mea C.: [barely audible] I am a worthy human being.
Stuart Smalley: Okay, I really couldn't hear you. Try again.
Mea C.: I am a worthy human being?
Stuart Smalley: No, Mia, it's not a question. Try it again.
Mea C.: I am... I'm sorry, what is the second part?
Stuart Smalley: Worthy human being. I am a worth human being. Just say it.
Mea C.: I'm sorry, am I saying it to you, or to myself?
Stuart Smalley: Just say it. I am a worthy human being.
Mea C.: I am a worthy human being.
Stuart Smalley: Okay, louder.
Mea C.: I am a worthy human being.
Stuart Smalley: Mean it.
Mea C.: I am a worthy human being.
Stuart Smalley: Believe it.
Mea C.: [screams] I HATE YOU, MOM.
[low]
Mea C.: Sorry.

I guess........to be likeable.
 
calveless wonder said:
You can obtain a happy medium, but it's a delicate balance and takes skill and tact.

Fact: not everyone will like you

Throughout my life, i've managed to obtain a happy medium with being well respected and being well liked in almost any setting.I've never strived to create it that way, but typically my realness +compassion and respect for others along with my general charisma creates that

Given the option, i'd take respect in a heartbeat. Many people can be well liked via seeking approval or being fake/lying. Respect usually involves integrity and being true to yourself. Not everyone will like that...fuck em
Click to expand...

I have been gone a couple of days, but damn pleased she didn't chirp out on me. Okay, I agree with U, but let me play devil's advocate just so I can egotistically bump this bad boy... j/k. My point is that U are using the definition that someone is well liked, but fake well liked, like a socialite or something like that, U only like on the social level, much in the same way I have an infatuation with Izod traxkjackets...

My point is that U really don't connect with this person, in fact if U are alone with them U may even feel uncomfortable. This person has no 'substance', and only appearance alone is maybe their charm, or superficial humor, whatever, U get the 'feel' of what I'm hoisting up. Instead I"m saying this person is true to themselves, but isn't really the ambitious get ahead type, but more comfortable living in what society would deem, achievement wise as 'mediocrity. They make less than 50 grand a year and drive a something like honda or whatever. However, they can connect with people because they of an honest eagerness, and a genuine curiousity in the human persona. Moreover they are comfortable in their own skin and this resonates with other people.

A true combination of introvert/extrovert, balanced in both. The get ahead type, puts ambition on the front, and is respected for their achievements, however, the only depth they have is ambition, work ethic, and the integrity they have is more related to promoting the self at all costs. They still honor the rules of process and attention to detail, however, due to an extreme narcissism which is running rampant and growing right now, their ability to really empathize with another a human being only goes as far as if that person agrees or serves them a purpose, and it is a superficial empathy... only a feeble connection that is based more on their self aggrandizement than anything else.

This is the comparison, I"m making, it all depends on what U value, do U value more recognition or connection... that is the substance of my question. I guess it depends on where U are in your life as well. Like my position has gone back and forth each day, however in the end I"m leaning towards connection.
 
stilleto said:
how can a person be well liked if they aren't admired and respected?
Click to expand...

I guess I"m thinking more in terms of social recognition and status verses someone who U connect with and is not all that ambitious.
U have respect for one's status and acheivement on one hand, and connection to another person, but no benz, no Moderator type status, that sorta thing...
This is the justaposition I'm hoisting up.
 
nimbus said:
i think the example ariel is getting at is like a barber or butcher, who everyone in town knows and likes, but doesn't exactly admire.

vs a prof. who has done brilliant work in his field but is a douchebag to students and colleagues
Click to expand...

More or less, yeah U hit this one on the head.
However, due to the nature of the position's U hit on, it makes me wanna change my mind.
However, I'm stickin to my guns.
 
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