Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below VicTusDeuS
New member
Probably either special agent for the FBI or CIA or if not that maybe a surveillance guy that handles all the bugging and stuff. Im kinda nosey and always have to know what's going on...
What's your dream job? and where would it be?
- Thread starter big4life
- Start date
Island Son
New member
poolboy at Uncle Hef's place. Or maybe Uncle Bob (G's) place, since Penthouse is much skankier.
Rockafella Skank
New member
The FBI is almost always recruiting.VicTusDeuS said:
huntmaster
New member
huntmaster said:MLB Chicago Bears
Also--I would really like to be a professional hunter.
Rockafella Skank
New member
Music supervisor for major motion pictures.
Professional Strongman
B True
B True
smallmovesal
New member
artist, writer, designer... in nyc
i'd be professional holy roller..
it'd be great..
i'd start my making sure to tell everyone that i have found the lord jesus christ.. and i mean everybody.. friends, family, coworkers, people walking down the street, people on BART, my dog, etc... i'd do this as a means of actually convincing myself of all my own bullcrap as well.. kinda like learning by repetition..
then, after having proclaimed how i found the lord, i'd go on a mission.. a mission to convert every single human within a 5 block radius of my house to christianity... i can only go five blocks cuz since that dui i only have driving privelages to and from the factory.. and i smoke so much that i get tired after walking blocks..
i'd start by telling them the story of how i found the lord.. and how i now have inner peace.. and how forgiving the lord jesus christ really is.. and that he'd forgive them of all their sins.. doesn't matter what they did.. murder, rape, pillage.. as long as they proclaim that they believe.. all that won't matter any more.. they will go to heaven..
and then i'd tell them about how great my church is.. and how informative the sermons are.. and how smart and witty the pastor is.. and then i'd hand them a pamphlet with directions to my church right there on front.. and i'd tell them about how invovled the people in attendance are in the sermon.. and how they even have god take over their bodies.. and it's makes them dance and sing like gypsies.. because that's what god was.. a gypsie.. and that's the way you're supposed to act when he takes over your body.. oh yeah.. and how they talk all funny.. like anne heche in her fourth dimension as a child.. because that's how god talks.. they can prove it..
then.. i'd even give them one of those little silver fishy looking things.. to put on the back of their car.. so that when they're driving.. the lord will always be with them to guide and protect them..
then i'd give them one of those small, green complimentary bibles.. so that they could always have the word of the lord by their side.. and so they could always refer to it during their troubled times.. to look for the answers to their questions...
i might even tell them how the bible is the one word and the only word of the lord... and that all these aethists, muslims, hindus, buddhists, jews, etc will all burn in the fires of hell because they have not accepted jesus christ into their life.. and because they don't believe in him...
and then i could tell them how.. because i'm a christian.. i can go around with a high power firearm and just take the life of whatever innocent creature that i happen upon.. because it says right there in that little green bible that we human beings are far superior to those vermon.. and how they don't have souls or feelings or emotions.... because their the devils play toys..
of course.. i'll leave out the part about me luring innocent children into the church bathroom to sexually molest them.. i mean.. what's it matter anyway right.. the lord jesus christ will still accept me into the gates of heaven because i believe..
and i'll probably leave out how the other afternoon... when i got off my shift at the factory... how i got drunk at the local bar.... and decided to drive home.. backwards.. and ran over that german shepherd, bashing it's skull with my bumper.. cracking my little jesus fish.. then getting slammed head on by oncoming traffic..
and there's no way i can tell them how my pastor just moved from tennessee because he is on the lam for polygamy charges and charges of theft by deception for telling all those old people that if they give their house to him.. that they'll live forever..
and i'd probably let them find out for themselves that my church is actually in the basement of the local fire department.. which also serves as a the local greasy spoon.. and that we don't really have any pews or nice ornamental type stuff cuz our pastor.. well he uses all the donations that people give to get themselves into heaven.. he takes it and uses it to by as much 12 y/o girls underwear from kmart as he can.. and then keeps them hid in that closet by the fire hoses...
and i probably wouldn't tell them that those people who get to have jesus and god take over their bodies.. are actually suffering from parkenson's disease and torret's syndrome.. or how they just got done smoking a rock in the church parking lot..
holy crap.. i'd love to continue.. but it's time for to get off work..
later y'all
it'd be great..
i'd start my making sure to tell everyone that i have found the lord jesus christ.. and i mean everybody.. friends, family, coworkers, people walking down the street, people on BART, my dog, etc... i'd do this as a means of actually convincing myself of all my own bullcrap as well.. kinda like learning by repetition..
then, after having proclaimed how i found the lord, i'd go on a mission.. a mission to convert every single human within a 5 block radius of my house to christianity... i can only go five blocks cuz since that dui i only have driving privelages to and from the factory.. and i smoke so much that i get tired after walking blocks..
i'd start by telling them the story of how i found the lord.. and how i now have inner peace.. and how forgiving the lord jesus christ really is.. and that he'd forgive them of all their sins.. doesn't matter what they did.. murder, rape, pillage.. as long as they proclaim that they believe.. all that won't matter any more.. they will go to heaven..
and then i'd tell them about how great my church is.. and how informative the sermons are.. and how smart and witty the pastor is.. and then i'd hand them a pamphlet with directions to my church right there on front.. and i'd tell them about how invovled the people in attendance are in the sermon.. and how they even have god take over their bodies.. and it's makes them dance and sing like gypsies.. because that's what god was.. a gypsie.. and that's the way you're supposed to act when he takes over your body.. oh yeah.. and how they talk all funny.. like anne heche in her fourth dimension as a child.. because that's how god talks.. they can prove it..
then.. i'd even give them one of those little silver fishy looking things.. to put on the back of their car.. so that when they're driving.. the lord will always be with them to guide and protect them..
then i'd give them one of those small, green complimentary bibles.. so that they could always have the word of the lord by their side.. and so they could always refer to it during their troubled times.. to look for the answers to their questions...
i might even tell them how the bible is the one word and the only word of the lord... and that all these aethists, muslims, hindus, buddhists, jews, etc will all burn in the fires of hell because they have not accepted jesus christ into their life.. and because they don't believe in him...
and then i could tell them how.. because i'm a christian.. i can go around with a high power firearm and just take the life of whatever innocent creature that i happen upon.. because it says right there in that little green bible that we human beings are far superior to those vermon.. and how they don't have souls or feelings or emotions.... because their the devils play toys..
of course.. i'll leave out the part about me luring innocent children into the church bathroom to sexually molest them.. i mean.. what's it matter anyway right.. the lord jesus christ will still accept me into the gates of heaven because i believe..
and i'll probably leave out how the other afternoon... when i got off my shift at the factory... how i got drunk at the local bar.... and decided to drive home.. backwards.. and ran over that german shepherd, bashing it's skull with my bumper.. cracking my little jesus fish.. then getting slammed head on by oncoming traffic..
and there's no way i can tell them how my pastor just moved from tennessee because he is on the lam for polygamy charges and charges of theft by deception for telling all those old people that if they give their house to him.. that they'll live forever..
and i'd probably let them find out for themselves that my church is actually in the basement of the local fire department.. which also serves as a the local greasy spoon.. and that we don't really have any pews or nice ornamental type stuff cuz our pastor.. well he uses all the donations that people give to get themselves into heaven.. he takes it and uses it to by as much 12 y/o girls underwear from kmart as he can.. and then keeps them hid in that closet by the fire hoses...
and i probably wouldn't tell them that those people who get to have jesus and god take over their bodies.. are actually suffering from parkenson's disease and torret's syndrome.. or how they just got done smoking a rock in the church parking lot..
holy crap.. i'd love to continue.. but it's time for to get off work..
later y'all
Similar threads
