Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below Half of marriages end in divorce, not most. If you dont want to get married thats fine. Was someone trying to convince you otherwise? Its like you are posting this thread for yourself. lol. Do you have a nagging grandmother or something?
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what your future wife will be thinking after having kids.
- Thread starter stevesmi
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Half of marriages end in divorce, not most. If you dont want to get married thats fine. Was someone trying to convince you otherwise? Its like you are posting this thread for yourself. lol. Do you have a nagging grandmother or something?
I will get married when i find the right person. but i wont get married to just get married like half the population then get divorced
Good choice
Funny thread, I had no idea nomarriage.com was a real site.
I've stated my views on marriage before, it doesn't make a lot of sense financially (at least for men)
But, at the same time we're all conditioned by society to want to get married, almost as if it's an achievement or something, like owning a house, having children, making your first million etc (I don't think marriage should be rated as highly as these, but there's no question that it is).
I'm thinking that when (if) the time comes then I might have the wedding etc but skip the registry office part, I mean, marriage is supposed to be religious anyway, no need for contracts and signatures etc.
I've stated my views on marriage before, it doesn't make a lot of sense financially (at least for men)
But, at the same time we're all conditioned by society to want to get married, almost as if it's an achievement or something, like owning a house, having children, making your first million etc (I don't think marriage should be rated as highly as these, but there's no question that it is).
I'm thinking that when (if) the time comes then I might have the wedding etc but skip the registry office part, I mean, marriage is supposed to be religious anyway, no need for contracts and signatures etc.
Look, I've been married twice, first one was a bust, second one a blessing. You kind of get used to being married. If you don't get into the habit when you're younger you don't miss it as you get older, but if you've been married from a young age, it's something you miss.
And trust me, the men aren't the only ones who get screwed, I got the shaft big time in my divorce, and yes, I had custody and I'm not the only woman that happens to. Who fares well in a divorce depends on, among other things, what state you live in, who has the better lawyer, and who is nastier and more bitter. If you're an inherently nice person and just want to get it over with, you're probably going to get screwed over harder, no matter what your gender just because you'll often go "Fine, take it, just shut the fuck up and let's get this over with."
And trust me, the men aren't the only ones who get screwed, I got the shaft big time in my divorce, and yes, I had custody and I'm not the only woman that happens to. Who fares well in a divorce depends on, among other things, what state you live in, who has the better lawyer, and who is nastier and more bitter. If you're an inherently nice person and just want to get it over with, you're probably going to get screwed over harder, no matter what your gender just because you'll often go "Fine, take it, just shut the fuck up and let's get this over with."
Out of interest, what is it that you miss that isn't already there?
OH, and Steve, let me tell you, you have NO idea how stressful it can be on a couple when you're dealing with a harpy of an ex wife whose bleeding you. My husband's child support payment was over $13k a year, basically 27% of his net income, which we paid the taxes on. That was bad enough, but then his kids would come to us and need clothes and shoes and school supplies ... meanwhile mommy had a new motorcycle and had money to take vacations to Nashville. You have a choice, you spend your life in court nickle and diming each other, or you just take the kids to Kohl's.
It comes down to having one of two ways to deal with it, you get stuck in and slog through until the kids turn 18 or you turn on each other. We hung in and kept our mouths shut around the kids. That's the other shitty thing people do, they turn the kids into a bargaining chip, or they screw with their minds (my ex thought fucking with my son's head was grand fun). Kids aren't stupid. They remember who was there for them when they needed the basics, who took them on vacations (even if it was camping) and also who had money for luxuries but not to pick up school supplies or pay for eyeglasses.
It comes down to having one of two ways to deal with it, you get stuck in and slog through until the kids turn 18 or you turn on each other. We hung in and kept our mouths shut around the kids. That's the other shitty thing people do, they turn the kids into a bargaining chip, or they screw with their minds (my ex thought fucking with my son's head was grand fun). Kids aren't stupid. They remember who was there for them when they needed the basics, who took them on vacations (even if it was camping) and also who had money for luxuries but not to pick up school supplies or pay for eyeglasses.
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Well, let's see ... honestly, I don't know how single people do it. For example, when you get sick, who takes care of you? Who makes you something to eat, makes sure you eat it, goes to the pharmacy to get stuff?
When my mom died, I was a complete basket case, my husband took care of just about everything, planning wise, and took care of me as well. I don't know what I would have done without him (no, I don't have any family other than my son). When his parents passed away, I was there for him (he's basically an orphan, too).
Long term plans and dreams, I'm talking, one, three, five years, you can't make that stuff with someone you're just dating and it's nice to have someone to dream and plan with, someone else's ideas and inputs.
I'm 45 and my husband is 56, our my eyesight isn't what it used to be, who gets the splinters out of your fingers?
When you've had a really bad day at work, who is there to just hold you? Who washes your back in the shower when its itchy? Who can you trust with your deepest fears? Who do you reach out to in the night if you wake up lonely or from a bad dream? I have a happy marriage, I'm married to my absolute best friend in the whole world. I live knowing that, no matter how shitty things are, I have one person on this whole world who will stand beside me (and nuzzle my neck), now or when I'm 65. He's seen me at my best and my worst, knows my mind and body inside and out. My husband is my safe harbor, my foundation, my comfort zone.
