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What do you say to this?
- Thread starter biteme
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Basic_wonder
New member
Someone would of been slapped if I heard that .....
If it were my kid?biteme said:
Me: "Sucks to be you then, eh?"
OR
Me: "Yeah, well, your mother didn't want to do anal."
OR
Me: "Yeah, well, you mother wanted a dog. I figured that this would be cheaper."
OR
Me: "What's it like, knowing that no one loves you?"
If I said it to my Dad:
Son: "They're not going to find the body" followed up with RIGHT CROSS!
My mom would have knocked me on the floor. My Dad wouldn't have hit me, but he would have verbally lashed me so bad, I would have wished he hit me.
I would say, OKAY (literally, God would be holding me back from killing her and/or slapping her to the ground), if I wasn't here you wouldn't have all the lovely things you have now. Then, I would strip her room bare, throw away everything, take away the cell phone, t.v., etc. Leave her a bed and dresser, her books and maybe a fucking puzzle.
No way would I let my child disrespect me in my home.
I would say, OKAY (literally, God would be holding me back from killing her and/or slapping her to the ground), if I wasn't here you wouldn't have all the lovely things you have now. Then, I would strip her room bare, throw away everything, take away the cell phone, t.v., etc. Leave her a bed and dresser, her books and maybe a fucking puzzle.
No way would I let my child disrespect me in my home.
guilt her...or try to guilt her...into thinking she hurt ur feelings with it...its the only way to reach people like me, you, her...she wont care if u yell at her and take her shit away, shell just think it will prove her point more and shell feel more victimized.biteme said:
u gotta make them FEEL the shame in what they said
nycgirl said:
Nah. I can't fault her for how she really feels. She doesn't like life. Some people never will. Maybe one day she will change her mind. I hope so. She doesn't believe in God and thinks life is a joke. I don't consider that disrespecting me. Now, other times she has disrespected me.
BlondeBombshell27
New member
Your mother should have swallowed is another witty one too.
Sassy69
New member
I agree w/ EJ -- that's a sad outlook on life. I've been blessed w/ 2 loving parents who are still together after 41 yrs and have given me the values I need ot make a good life. Its probalbly not her fault that's what she ended up w/ , but she does have the right to decide to choose a different life or just let it pass by & be miserable. Life is still a precious gift that shouldnt' be wasted. She can't help it if other people don't treat her like its a gift, but its her decision to treat it as a gift or not.
Sassy69 said:
At this point in life, I'd say life is more of a curse than a gift. Sure, there's been good times, but I'm just rating it overall. I just got back from the hospital and I saw what lies ahead. I'm gonna have fun while I can and try to do good to others, but still I think it pretty much sux overall. It's the inevitability of old age that mostly makes me feel this way. It's a mother fucker. I've been to nursing homes and hospitals plenty of times.
EnderJE said:
It ain't precious. There's too much suffering. I cannot live without that suffering affecting me. I just see if differently. You will suffer greatly and for a good while, unless you get lucky. Now in the meantime, I'm still gonna be fucking and working out and just living this crazy life.
heavy_duty
New member
Then she leaves home and moves in with her friend who lives with her single mom and they're on welfare. Or worse she becomes a homeless kid or street hooker to rebel against you the mom!
I aint makin this shit up from the TV or movies!
I aint makin this shit up from the TV or movies!
nycgirl said:
But (I think) that's where you're wrong. The suffering is part of the piece that makes life special.biteme said:
I know I"m going to suffer alot. I'm going to be tried again and again. But I'll remember why...why am I suffer...why I still press on...and who's important. And then I'll remember what it all means.
If you want to know, just buy my book ($29.95) at Barnes And Knobles.
Sassy69
New member
My uncle was blinded in WWII as a pilot, caught shrapnel in his eyes. Now he's in a nursing home at age 80 or something, just lays there. Remember the guy in Metallic's video for "One"? Like that. Tragic bordering on pathetic. His family from a previous marriage blows him off & his more recent son, my cousin visits him but still. That room he lives in, he shares w/ some other guy, doens't have a tv, is essentially mute and just lays there waiting to die.
He's had an amazing life - very capable guy, but also full of whinign & bitching. His son is 450 lb at age 40 and is socially stunted because of the shitty attitude he received from his dad. The whole situation is tragic -- but liike I commented once when I was walking thru a grocery store in S. Florida and happened to get hit in the ankle by some old lady who just looked at me like I specifically & intentionally trying to make her life miserable -- I said to a friend later - "If I get that miserable in my life, just friggen shoot me."
That's my attitude - life is to a degree what is handed to you, and biteme, sounds like you are surrounded by a complement of people who are miserable. But its your choice as to how you take that into your own life. Don't lose sight of the good things. Please. And the good thigns you can bring to other people. You may truly be the light in the lives of all these people in the hospitals, etc. You just never know.
Don't mean to preach because I don't for a second assume to stand in judgement of you or can say I've walked a mile in your shoes, but I personally try to catch myself when things get that shitty that I would blame my parents' for my existence.
He's had an amazing life - very capable guy, but also full of whinign & bitching. His son is 450 lb at age 40 and is socially stunted because of the shitty attitude he received from his dad. The whole situation is tragic -- but liike I commented once when I was walking thru a grocery store in S. Florida and happened to get hit in the ankle by some old lady who just looked at me like I specifically & intentionally trying to make her life miserable -- I said to a friend later - "If I get that miserable in my life, just friggen shoot me."
That's my attitude - life is to a degree what is handed to you, and biteme, sounds like you are surrounded by a complement of people who are miserable. But its your choice as to how you take that into your own life. Don't lose sight of the good things. Please. And the good thigns you can bring to other people. You may truly be the light in the lives of all these people in the hospitals, etc. You just never know.
Don't mean to preach because I don't for a second assume to stand in judgement of you or can say I've walked a mile in your shoes, but I personally try to catch myself when things get that shitty that I would blame my parents' for my existence.
biteme said:
It would be the same with my parents.
My mom is 57 and my dad is 64, I'm still afraid of them. There's no way I would say that, at 27.
I will always owe my parents. My return on their investment in me, is being a respectful daughter, supporting my family when needed, being all that I can be, etc.
To each their own.
Have you looked into counseling for you and your daughter?
biteme said:
I had thought and said something similiar to my mother less the curse words of course.
She's a teenager.
I mean I remember vividly being 12/13 and wishing I hadn't been born but at the same time I didn't wish not to be alive either. In my mind then telling my mother when she regularly critized or beat the living shit out of me that I didn't ask to be born and don't take my living out on me to be perfectly normal.
Situations vary and there's nothing easy about being a teen and clearly she's angry about something so how you respond to her anger is kind of important.
Sometimes, even if your kid is totally wrong you have to communicate with them on their level.
I really have to disagree with most of what people have said because as a parent YOU CHOSE to bring a life into the world - it is your job to be a parent and provide for your kid and your kid did not make a request for you to do so. Now there are problem kids and teens (hell adults too) but don't forget it is YOU that chose to create that kids life and good or bad you were in control and that is what angers and unhappy child or teen.
Something to think about - and I hope I expressed that clear enough.
biteme said:
I agree. My Dad did that from the beginning with my sister and I. He took us back to his old neighborhood (one of the toughest in NY). Where children don't have pink bicycles, cabbage dolls, etc. He made sure his children were humbled and had a positive outlook on life.
velvett said:
Yes. I try to be very patient and understanding with her. She is going through the hard years right now. And times have changed. Lots of bad influences in these times. The things she says and does sometimes makes me angry, but on the whole, I take it all in stride and just wait patiently for her to grow out of it. She loves me very much. This I know.
biteme said:
I mean what did you say to her?
I would have asked her to explain why she felt that way.
I mean the things that may or may not have happened for her to think such a thing might just be something she has no idea how to or who to talk about so it's just easier for her to be angry and blame you for whatever it is that is bothering her.
You don't really want to support that sort of behavior.
LOL - or she's just pissed at her mother and wants to punish you to feel better.
Teens are complex.
foreigngirl
New member
nycgirl said:
lol..same thing with me, but it would be my dad knocking me to the floor and my mom lashing me verbally.
yeah, my kid would be in such a trouble if she said that to me in those same words
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
velvett said:
Tell me where she lives, I'm about to open up a can of ass whipping. I'm going to drop her like a bad habit. Then I'm going to finish her off with the atomic leg drop, Hulk Hogan style.
velvett said:I mean what did you say to her?
I would have asked her to explain why she felt that way.
I mean the things that may or may not have happened for her to think such a thing might just be something she has no idea how to or who to talk about so it's just easier for her to be angry and blame you for whatever it is that is bothering her.
You don't really want to support that sort of behavior.
LOL - or she's just pissed at her mother and wants to punish you to feel better.
Teens are complex.
She was angry at me. I understood why she was angry, but I had to do what I did. In looking out for her best interests. (Which of course she didn't agree with, I was wrecking her life according to her). She was mad for days, but has since gotten over it. LOL. Being a parent is hard.
biteme said:
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Well, I can tell you this one day a long long time from now when she realizes why you'd done certain things "in her best interest" she'll look back on it thankfully even if she never tells you - actually I can pretty much guarantee she won't.
You just have to do what you have to do and deal with her outbursts and try and teach her the difference between a hurtful comment and constructive one.
My parents were pretty strict and while there were somethings done that as an adult I think is horrific to do to a child I am thankful that they were strict as far as my social after school interactions and I willl forever be gratefull that they brought me traveling everywhere and educated me.
Since she is a lot like you - you already have some insight and girls are by far more resilent and stubborn than boys - so she'll probably be a harder tack to deal with than you were.
Good Luck.
ps. I'm quite confident you will be able to handle her but you do know that you will never be able to have another woman in your life until you ship her off to college, which may not be a bad thing.
Sassy69
New member
Wow. I admit even at age 40 I've lived probably a pretty shelted life. If I know of one of my peers treating their kid like that, I'd personally kick the living shit out of them. Or at least have to hold myself back from doing it. I came very close to unleashing holy hell on the boyfriend of a roommate I had in college. Very close. That in itself scared me.
I will agree w/ vel - girls are hella complicated, teenage girls even worse. I was probably a moody kid, but I guess I was fairly easy to deal w/ because I didn't act out a lot of stuff you hear about girls doing because that stuff doesn't fit into the value system and the level of implied responsibility my parents placed on me. I do feel for you and I do keep you and your family in my prayers
I will agree w/ vel - girls are hella complicated, teenage girls even worse. I was probably a moody kid, but I guess I was fairly easy to deal w/ because I didn't act out a lot of stuff you hear about girls doing because that stuff doesn't fit into the value system and the level of implied responsibility my parents placed on me. I do feel for you and I do keep you and your family in my prayers
velvett said:
LOL. Yeah, I've kind of resigned to that. I can still have fun though! I've met women who are willing to have a relationship, but they would have to live at their place and I at mine. Actually that's not a bad idea. You only see each other enough not to get sick of each other.
JayC9
Well-known member
Great post Biteme!biteme said:
It doesn't matter who you are or the path you've taken in life, being able to see the panoramic view, the big picture is key. Adding creativity to any situation can transform the moment and teach us to see the circumstance that surrounds from another’s perspective. To see through the eyes of another person is to collectively breathe the air they breathe, feel their emotions and to eventually come to an understanding of their behavior. It's almost like tuning into their thoughts.
In my own experience, creativity bookmarks the moment for later reference. It becomes a method of unfolding the situation like a box, you see the beginning, how it became and the purpose the end product serves.
If you listen carefully to peoples comments you'll notice that a lot of their viewpoints are fear based. They comment, "I don't want to end up like that," "I worry about what the future holds," or” I'm scared for myself/family." I too am guilty of saying those same things. We're force fed this fear through the media everyday and that negativity is naturally reflected in our outlook on life.
For example you hear on a news bulletin, 'little Johnny was murdered in cold blood today'. A tragic occurrence, a terrible thing to happen, but if you really think about it, what does it have to do with you? Do you know that person? Do you live within their vicinity? Can you aid with the investigation? If the answer is 'no', then what does that information really do for your psyche? It sounds a bit cold to choose not to listen or to blank the input but it's not a case of ignorance, it's a case of choosing not to pollute your mind with the shite that permeates from the corporate fear mongers day in day out.
Another way of describing contentment is, 'to be happy with your lot' or 'to realize what you have in life at that moment and to make the most out of it," which is what I think Biteme is saying. My point is that you can read into the past, present and future and still be what you want to be without being shaped by unnecessary outside influence.
Don't buy into the system brother! Screw their way of thinking, it's marketed for the small of mind. The way to enlightenment and the flowing energy of life is certainly not through fear and examining the things we're scared of or that we don't want. Happiness comes through making the most out of the now, not from dwelling on the suffering that may come. It's all an adjustmnet of thought.
EnderJE said:
Oh hell no, I don't owe them a damn thing, they decided to have me, I didn't ask to be born, or treated the way I was.
But as a child, I knew to have alittle more respect, because I was living under her roof and not say things like that, although I thought them.
And biteme I was kidding, she would not have murdered me, but I would have gotten my ass beat that's for damn sure.
Oh, teenagers are mean sometimes
When i was 13, my mom used to gripe all the time
Even my poor dad was going crazy( i think she was going thru menopause and was miserable alot of times) and one time i just said
we are getting tired of you griping and yelling all the time
she beat the living crap out of me.
I dont ever remember my dad whipping me or whatever but i would have rather had mom whip me than my dad yell at me
Sorry biteme, that your going thru this, i was a difficult teenager....well now that i think about it i was a thorn in my moms side alot but when i moved out, we got along alot better
When i was 13, my mom used to gripe all the time
Even my poor dad was going crazy( i think she was going thru menopause and was miserable alot of times) and one time i just said
we are getting tired of you griping and yelling all the time
she beat the living crap out of me.
I dont ever remember my dad whipping me or whatever but i would have rather had mom whip me than my dad yell at me
Sorry biteme, that your going thru this, i was a difficult teenager....well now that i think about it i was a thorn in my moms side alot but when i moved out, we got along alot better
GoldenDelicious
New member
if my child had said that to me, i would have looked at them with guileless eyes (im brilliant at faking those looks 
) and said "that was probably the best thing i ever did though..." then left the room
comments like that tend to stop people in their tracks, and theyll never, ever forget it.
then you can spin it all sorts of ways, depending on what you need to do
) and said "that was probably the best thing i ever did though..." then left the roomcomments like that tend to stop people in their tracks, and theyll never, ever forget it.
then you can spin it all sorts of ways, depending on what you need to do
Tytan
New member
Wow!! This is a tough subject to offer any opinion or advice. Usually you know your children and should have a pretty good understanding as to who they are...Then as a parent you should know that they don`t share everything in their life w/ you. There is always another side. It sounds like alot of heavy things are going on w/ your kid.I would also think counseling for the two of you individually would be the thing to do....She needs to relate to someone who can open up her thought process and it sounds like you could use the same. Its not about being smarter or disrespectful or any of those things when it comes to taking care of someone, its about them being happy as a person. Take her to find her happiness before she doesn`t think happiness is possible for her.........good luck to you and your family..
Look her sadly in the eye and in a conversational tone of voice say, "Once in a while I have the exact same feeling, but I love you too much to ever say it to your face."biteme said:
Try this the next time she hits you with a wicked zinger, "You've been working on that one for days waiting for just the right moment to use it, haven't you?"
It helps to have some material on hand/in reserve when it comes to teenagers; they like to use the element of surprise to catch you in a moment of weakness.
DannoMight
New member
My old man would have punched me in the mouth had I said something like that.
If that was said to me then I would take a bunch of shit he likes that I bought away from him.
If that was said to me then I would take a bunch of shit he likes that I bought away from him.
SoKlueles said:Oh, teenagers are mean sometimes
When i was 13, my mom used to gripe all the time
Even my poor dad was going crazy( i think she was going thru menopause and was miserable alot of times) and one time i just said
we are getting tired of you griping and yelling all the time
she beat the living crap out of me.
I dont ever remember my dad whipping me or whatever but i would have rather had mom whip me than my dad yell at me
Sorry biteme, that your going thru this, i was a difficult teenager....well now that i think about it i was a thorn in my moms side alot but when i moved out, we got along alot better
Thank you all very much. But, I don't ask for pity. I'm a bad man.
DannoMight
New member
Bust him in the dome.
