What do you do to make the pain go away?

[Sassy69]

BMom -

Sounds like you are traveling some rough waters right now. But in everything I've ever seen you write, I've never seen anything but good common sense, a solid view of reality and a shitload of self-confidence and assurance. Sometimes to the people who are generally even-keel (i.e. not the high-emotional maintenance drama kings & queens), the pressure to provide stability to other people's lives becomes even greater and you become aware of your need for some stability too - and may even feel like its a short-coming.

If that's the situation, let yourself feel the need for stability. Sometimes you don't always have it at the minute you need it, but its ok to feel the need for it. And never let someone create doubt in yourself. You've made it this far with some amazing accomplishments. Your girls obviously adore you and won't expect any more of you than your love and the best that you can give. When the ex talks about all the things he can do and you can't, well -- ask your kids if they feel that way. I bet not. If people can't contribute positively to your life and your kids' lives have no place in your world.

Definitely talk to people, work it out and dont' let the negative energy get bottled up -- if you have a feeling, acknowledge that it is a valid feeling and it does exist, decide how long you are going to let it bother you, and then move on because one minute more that you spend agonizing in doubt that may only exist in your mind because of a comment from an uninvolved, uninformed observer, it is one more minute that you just got older. That is exactly all it accomplishes.

Good luck to you -- I always look to you for inspiration - lots of people will validate your positive abilities and beliefs, so you shouldn't doubt yourself.

 

[Steak Helmet]

HEy,


I TRAIN...then I beat teh shit out of my punching bag. If that does not work..well watch out for teh next person that says something bad to me.

Take care...YOU KNOW I LOVE ...thanks for all the advice I hope this helps you

 

[MoneyBags]

Weapon, I know something isn't right.....

It seems that no matter what, it will NEVER be right.

Nothing even really happened to make me feel this way, no event. But I just have this overwhelming feeling that I cause nothing but complication and unhappiness to those around me that I love, that I do not benefit them in anyway.

I feel lke, if I just disappeared then there lives would be much better because if I can't bring them some benefit, then why am I here?

sounds like a great personal ad.

 

[KAYNE]

I HAVENT FIGURED IT OUT YET!!! CANT STOP IT.

KAYNE

 

[big4life]

Bikinimom, never think that people would be better off without
you in their lives.
You have always come across as a very determined lady in
your posts. If you stick with it, you will begin to see the
positive results you're looking for.

You say that their father can give them all these extra things that
you can't, but think about all the things you can give them, that no amount of money can buy.

You can teach them to be strong independent ladies.
You can show them that they don't have to "settle" for
less than they deserve.
Finally, you can show them that they can achieve their
goals if they just keep trying.

These are just a few things you can offer them.

I hope you find the happiness you deserve lady.

 

[litig8r]

Focus on those babies. They Love YOU, not what you can buy them. You are on track keeping them above all else. You give them what you obviously know they need, your love, devotion and time, and they will give the "meds" to make you stronger. Remeber those hugs, the spontaneous "I love you". You can not make those around you miserable if you love your kids like you do. It is cliche' but time will heal. Let your kids help.

I have a 3 year old and an eight year old. When things suck, I hold them. They know I need them and they respond by giving me the love I need. When I have a shitty day, I spend time with them. I soon realize I am worth somthing to someone and someone does give a shit about me. My kids think I am wonderful. My kids are never wrong.

god bless you. I will prey for you.

hasta

litig8r

 

[b fold the truth]

Gosh I hate being emotional. Why do tears even exist? I cry and pray for you...as I do a few people on this board.

This may not be what you wanted to hear...but prayer. Pray. Honestly look for help...and pray.

B True

 

[Scotsman]

Definately focus on the kids. Children see the world as it is because they haven't learned to candy coat the bad things in life. If they still love you then you are rich beyond any dollar amount. I often think the same way you do that I just cause problems for the people in my life. Then I think about my niece and how much I would hate not seeing her grow up. She keeps me going on the bad days. Just think of the way they idolize you and how even showing up for what you think is a little field trip was the highlight of her day. Also find someone to talk to the more you talk the more you can see the problem yourself. Just don't run from yourself or you will get lost in a sea of troubles.

 

[Imnotdutch]

1) get drunk.
2) phone somebody, anybody, at some obscene time at night and tell em about my woes.
3) listen carefully when they tell me to stop being a dumbass and to get on with my life......no sense living in the past.

OR: I figure there always somebody worse off than me.....so I put myself in their shoes for a couple of minutes. Then step back into my life. This is particularly eeasy if you are drunk or stoned (not that I would do that cos its illegal).

 

[havoc]

P Lifter, I wish you and I were in the same room right now, no fag not to fullfill your consistent dreams of gayness with another male but for me to just quickly and effortlessly kangaroo kick your eggplant shaped cranium down your pencil dick neck, you're a punk ass chump. I know I know , talking shit on the net is pointless but so is your existence cock cushion.

B mom, if you get a chance, email me, I have a solution(seriously), not some stupid shit, its on serious note, peace