What do you do to make the pain go away?

[luv2workout]

Bikinimom....BIG CYBER HUG to you honey.....Go see your therapist and TALK,TALK, TALK.....even if it doesnt solve the problem it will make you feel better....I know people say this is bullshit and maybe Im reading between the lines but it seems to me like you are feeling this way because of your life in the past (possibly from childhood?) you know that crap REALLY does affect your life as an adult....the more you search yourself and dig down to where it reallly hurts and start to heal all those wounds - the better off you will be....
Who am I to give advice though??? I often FEEL the same exact things as you were speaking of....I have been there - still there at times it seems....Its much easier to give advice than to apply it to your own life, right? You have soooo many great qualities and sooo much to give to others - that is why THEY will not be better off if you just run away.....Hope this helps a little and if you need to vent - the email still the same honey!! luv ya..hang in there! Shan

 

[MommaKin]

That's bs and you know it, when you siad maybe you should of stayed with your X and then at least your kids would have whatever.........I'm not gonna say anything else cause you know what you gotta do and anyone who is your friend will stick by you, no matter what.......

 

[BigPhysicsBastard]

don't give in to him, any man that can tell his ex to just give him the kids and walk away..........=piece of shit!!!! Tough it out, so your girls don't get the "extra's"....they'll appreciate you even more so further down the road when they are old enough to realize what you have sacrificed for them. Good luck.

 

[Mandinka]

What do I do to make ze pain go away?

Here it is - I hope it helps you.

1. If ya can't get to sleep sometimes then have a few drinks - something quick - usually spirits (Sambuca 4 me) . Also helps to stop thinking - often that's such a relief for a little while.

2. Say a little prayer , y'know. If you're not a believer then maybe you should practice breathing techniques , practice relaxing (oxymoron I know).

3. Be peaceful and calm.

4. Wear a fucking smile (said with gritted teeth) but its true - if you smile even at strangers then lo and behold some will flash their pearlies back at you and then you'll really have something to smile about. Of course some will think weirdo but fuck em - this is not the time for totally rational thought.

5. Try and avoid potential sources of conflict within your life - after a while talking/thinking about the ex just brings you down. I know cos I got shit on from a skyscraper and she still cries down the phone to me that we should be together.

6. Remember we're all with you so sleep well kid.

 

[Superbabe]

BM, if you really did cause unhappiness and complications to everyone around you then there wouldn't be anyone around by now, they'd've ffed off.

Everything will be OK honey. We all love ya.

Maybe you need to eat something you've not had for a while. Do you have any cravings? (mainly I say this cos feeling unrationally despairing can be caused by chemical imbalance in the brain. For me, a really hot curry sorts it out mostly.)

Biggup luv girly. Now be happy before I have to beat you into a pulp of optimism.

 

[Pandoras Aggression]

My heart goes out to you for I can empatize and sympatize with your situation myself. And it has been recently.

The first of the "Four Noble Truths" which Buddha taught was "Life is suffering." It is a great truth because once we truly see the truth, we transcend it. There are those who say that "life is easy, people make it difficult". I believe those people have not lived to the depth of life that, perhaps, you and I have. Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom----I know you're probably feeling drained of those right now. But it is only due to these problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. When we avoid pain and the grief problems create, we also avoid the growth that problem demands from us. Life is full of big changes and little changes .......then the one's that seem to knock us down when we don't expect it. I know you feel really bad, but you are changing inside too.......I bet your outlook will be changing even more in the next few weeks. It will take time to get through this, but that's all we have anyways........it's the pain that makes it so bad.

My change came after my divorce when I ask my ex for his "late" child support payment....and he said, "If you don't have the money to raise her, I DO!" I was never any madder and it became crystal clear what I had to do .........and I would have died and been buried 6 feet under the cold dark ground before he took my baby. I'm sure you are the same way. I became angry instead of depressed and it seems that was what I had been needing to get out of the moment I was stuck in.

I don't know if any of the above will help you, but if you need to talk don't hesitate to email me.

Hang in There,
Pandora

 

[WODIN]

Bkmom, what you are feeling is basically withdraw. It is a fact that we all have chemical signature that builds when two people relate to each other physically and emotionally over a long period of time.

It just takes time to get through it just like any other thing that you have had long term association with. So an acid trip and some absinthe might just help!

I hope that helps a little.

Plus what up with all the novella's of late?

 

[tripleV]

just talking to people i find helps alot........

 

[plifter]

I just have this overwhelming feeling that I cause nothing but complication and unhappiness to those around me that I love, that I do not benefit them in anyway.

I feel lke, if I just disappeared then there lives would be much better because if I can't bring them some benefit, then why am I here?

If you talk to people around you the same way you talk to me you'd probably be better off killing yourself. I would suggest a 12 gauge shotgun.

Since I doubt this will happen, I think you should just sit down at the dinner table and eat ice cream until you turn into a lard ass again.

 

[chesty]

Call me.