I hear ya man,its very frustrating. I gained 23 lbs on my last cycle, had lost just a little size & strength when I came off, I was pleased with it then I got hammered hard when that damn pollen got so bad, then had a family situation @ same time. I missed 2 wks straight in the gym. I peaked out @ 271 lbs while "on" & in no time I was 251 lbs. I struggled hard but finally got back to 260 lbs naturally. Im fixing to get back on after 3 months off. I usually go into pct with a bad attitude dwelling on how much im gonna loose. I kept a positive attitude this time telling myself I was gonna lift hard & fight to keep everything I could. It was working to until the 2 things I mentioned killed me lol. Im 12 lbs heavier than when I started my last cycle so I feel pretty good overall. I think your attitude going into pct is crucial. I'm working on mine.