Toilet Paper

[muscle_geek]

I found myself in a bind yesterday in the toilet at my mother-in-law's house. The bathroom is way in the back of the house, out of shouting distance. I took care of my business and found that there was an empty carboard roll where a nice fluffy roll of TP should be. I looked around for alternate wiping material and there was none. So I had to take the carboard roll and tear it into pieces to get the wiping done. It was definately coarse and I don't think it did that great of a job, but it was all I had. It took three flushes to get it down the toilet. Its kind of gross, but I thought I would share. I was wondering if anyone else has had to do this, or what's the worst thing you've ever used to wipe?

 

[slobberknocker]

Good thread.

 

[Y_lifter]

MODS---- MOVE TO THE SCAT BOARD

 

[Scarlett33]

I have a friend who will run out of T.P. and then she will use all the kleenex she has, then she moves on to paper towels and when she gets down to using coffie filters she will go get more T.P. I try to avoid using the bathroom at her house.

 

[HumorMe]

Why doesn't she just pour a cup of water on it and pat herself dry with a washcloth or something. It's got be easier on her drain lines.

 

[HANSEL]

when I was a kid, I would be out playing in the desert all day or in some houses being built. And when I needed to shit there was never anything around...not even leaves. So my technique was to just wipe my ass with my underwear and leave them. I did this in a lot of homes being built...thinking back I really feel bad for the contractors

 

[Scarlett33]

Why doesn't she just pour a cup of water on it and pat herself dry with a washcloth or something. It's got be easier on her drain lines.

I will suggest this to her

 

[Scarlett33]

when I was a kid, I would be out playing in the desert all day or in some houses being built. And when I needed to shit there was never anything around...not even leaves. So my technique was to just wipe my ass with my underwear and leave them. I did this in a lot of homes being built...thinking back I really feel bad for the contractors

Thats funny! I used to work in a hosptal ER and one time a little boy came in who had used poison ivy leaves to wipe with, when he was turkey hunting with his dad. His ass was in bad shape, poor kid!

 

[muscle_geek]

when I was a kid, I would be out playing in the desert all day or in some houses being built. And when I needed to shit there was never anything around...not even leaves. So my technique was to just wipe my ass with my underwear and leave them. I did this in a lot of homes being built...thinking back I really feel bad for the contractors

That's nasty. I remember several years ago when I was in college I worked part time in security for a large company. The building was 33 floors high and we were trying to catch a person that kept shitting on the elevators. He would take a shit and leave a napkin on top of it. There were several stories about people picking up the napkin and getting shit on their hands. Oh...this guy was actually shitting on the elevator ride and not just shitting in a napkin and putting it there. The shit was too pristine. That guy had some balls. Never caught him.

 

[2Thick]

That's nasty. I remember several years ago when I was in college I worked part time in security for a large company. The building was 33 floors high and we were trying to catch a person that kept shitting on the elevators. He would take a shit and leave a napkin on top of it. There were several stories about people picking up the napkin and getting shit on their hands. Oh...this guy was actually shitting on the elevator ride and not just shitting in a napkin and putting it there. The shit was too pristine. That guy had some balls. Never caught him.

And you will never catch me... I am the shit badit and I always leave my mark!!!

 

[Bullit]

I have a friend who will run out of T.P. and then she will use all the kleenex she has, then she moves on to paper towels and when she gets down to using coffie filters she will go get more T.P. I try to avoid using the bathroom at her house.

I'd hit it.

 

[HANSEL]

This girl is beautiful, like super model beautiful but she still has some skanky way's about her. We will be shopping and she will fart and say "come on lets leave I just farted we gotta get out of here!"

LOOL
Now thats funny.

 

[Scarlett33]

I'd hit it.

This girl is beautiful, like super model beautiful but she still has some skanky way's about her. We will be shopping and she will fart and say "come on lets leave I just farted we gotta get out of here!"

 

[Bullit]

This girl is beautiful, like super model beautiful but she still has some skanky way's about her. We will be shopping and she will fart and say "come on lets leave I just farted we gotta get out of here!"

Hook me up.

 

[HumorMe]

This girl is beautiful, like super model beautiful but she still has some skanky way's about her. We will be shopping and she will fart and say "come on lets leave I just farted we gotta get out of here!"

Guys fart and we stick around and grade them.

 

[duritz]

i was at a friends house once a i took a big dump with no toilet paper... i used one of his moms maxi pads and then put it back... i just wish i saw her face when she went to put it on
bwahahaha

 

[Lee]

i ran out once, and i just used to towel and threw it away

 

[theoak01]

ive used leaves,hay whatever I can find to use really,but the worst is the sandpaper type tp that my work has,holy fuck it tears up your bunger

 

[The Red Dragon]

The actual toilet paper roll (the brown cardboard part), that only happened once when I was 5 or something. Ever since that I've always been prepared.

 

[RADAR1]

(sigh) my mom was old fashioned,used old fashion shit & stuff she had this what i called "John Wayne toilet paper"-it was ruff & tuff and wouldn't take shit off nobody!


RADAR ( I snuck in my own roll)