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Those that filed for Divorce.......

seaking420

seaking420

New member
how hard was it for you to do it. I've been seperated for about 3 months now and i keep going back and forth on what I should do......when i feel like I should leave I get paralyzed with the thought of actually filing for Divorce and and ending my marriage. Some of you know my situation. So for those that filed for D how hard was it for you to pull the trigger and how hard was it for you to do it............any regrets???
 
My thoughts: *** Sample Size = 1 ***

Its crazy-hard right up to and through the time you do it and tell your spouse you've done it.

Once that's past, it gets a lot easier because a lot of things have to happen (her getting served, finding a lawyer, answering your lawsuit) -- so for at least 30 days it will be easy.

Then once you and she start slogging-through the details of the divorce, it will get steadily nastier again right up until everything is settled. Normally its very nasty right before everything is agreed upon.

The day the judge signs it, you won't feel "free" or "great" -- you'll feel numb. Then, over a 1-2 month period you'll bounce-back and about two months into it you'll feel like you're ready to go have some fun again.

Even two months after the divorce, you'll probably be wary of relationships. That can take more like a year or more post-divorce. But you can have a lot of fun with that time too.

Note: Do make sure you've exhausted every reasonable opportunity to reconcile. I think there's a lot less guilt when you're done counseling and made multiple attempts to put things back together.
 
Easy as hell bro,A trip down to the courthouse pay a couple hundred and fill out about 40 pages of bullshit than they remove your ankle bracelet(LOL)Don't get a lawyer unless a bunch assets are involved
 
a guy I know at the gym just keeps saying to me M&P

Misery and Poverty, is he over-reacting (plus he has lots of money I know)?
 
MightyMouse69 said:
a guy I know at the gym just keeps saying to me M&P

Misery and Poverty, is he over-reacting (plus he has lots of money I know)?
Click to expand...


Why is he saying that?
 
all the whey said:
Why is he saying that?
Click to expand...
I think a lot of guys see half + child support + spousal support as a bigger deal than the money they spend on supporting a wife.

Personally, my ex was making 75k and I was making 65k when we got divorced, I ended up with more money at the end of the month after I was divorced. After the divorce was final I ended up giving her an extra TV and blender because she was broke and living paycheck to paycheck. Did I mention she left the marriage with 25k in cash? :rolleyes:
 
You have to know if your sure.....amd when you do its not so tough.....a little a first....how long you been married?
 
javaguru said:
I think a lot of guys see half + child support + spousal support as a bigger deal than the money they spend on supporting a wife.

Personally, my ex was making 75k and I was making 65k when we got divorced, I ended up with more money at the end of the month after I was divorced. After the divorce was final I ended up giving her an extra TV and blender because she was broke and living paycheck to paycheck. Did I mention she left the marriage with 25k in cash? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I agree.

It is NOT cheaper to keaper.
 
I foolishly was not the one who filed, THAT is how much of a push-over I was. I just wanted him to leave me alone, share the kids and do right by me until I can get on my feet (after having been his dutiful partner for 13 years). I am now remarried over a year and I STILL can't get rid of the motherfucking POS.

It was EASY for me to kick him out though. When a man beats you to the ground after treating you like shit for 13 years it makes it REAL easy.

I realize your circumstances are different so do try and exhaust every other avenue before you do file and I say that because there is a child involved. If you had no child then why prolong the inevitable?
 
I think a lot of guys see half + child support + spousal support as a bigger deal than the money they spend on supporting a wife.

Personally, my ex was making 75k and I was making 65k when we got divorced, I ended up with more money at the end of the month after I was divorced. After the divorce was final I ended up giving her an extra TV and blender because she was broke and living paycheck to paycheck. Did I mention she left the marriage with 25k in cash?
Click to expand...

I make 20k more than my wife.......we have a shit load of debt to pay and 1 child so I think i will be responsible for child support but thats all......i think

You have to know if your sure.....amd when you do its not so tough.....a little a first....how long you been married?
Click to expand...

Hey bro...how have you been holding up....seems like your getting better...
I've been married for 5 years, together for 13............the thing is im not sure.....i keep having these battles in my head....everytime i think about leaving i think of reasons why i shouldnt........then everytime i think of staying i think of reasons to leave....fucked up shit

I realize your circumstances are different so do try and exhaust every other avenue before you do file and I say that because there is a child involved. If you had no child then why prolong the inevitable?
Click to expand...

Funny you say that about children..........ive been seeing a therapist and he said that divorce dosent impact kids as much as people think(research has showed according to him)....that he'll be fine as long as we (his parents) are in his life in a positive way.
 
seaking420 said:
Funny you say that about children..........ive been seeing a therapist and he said that divorce dosent impact kids as much as people think(research has showed according to him)....that he'll be fine as long as we (his parents) are in his life in a positive way.
Click to expand...

Oh I agree 100% that when you have a MISERABLE marriage where the parents don't like each other anymore than yes, divorce and peacefully co-parenting is THE BEST SITUATION for everyone involved. No kid wants to think of mommy and daddy not being together but when you are talking the only alternative being mommy and daddy DETEST one another then every kid I know (adult or older kid) they all agree that having them live separately but being happier is desirable.

I was talking more along the lines of can you and your perspective ex do that: co-parent seperately and peacefully?

^^^ If you honestly believe you can, then why prolong the agony?

It is a bitter pill to swallow to admit that a loving relationship between husband and wife is dead and over. But once you get over mourning the loss of something that wasn't all that great to begin with you would be shocked at how liberating and actually energizing the feeling is when you realize that you are getting a whole nuther chance to reinvent YOU!!!
 
Once i had the balls/motivation/energy to actually go through with it, it was wonderful and not hard at all. Its just taking that step. For me, it was way past "boo hoo dont want to end my marriage". My marriage was essentially already over for 2 yrs before that and it was a toxic and dyfunctional relationship for all involved. At the end, that's all I wanted was to dissolve that relationship and start my life fresh. I dreamt about doing it for years before I finally went through with it.

Hardest part of it all was telling my parents about filing for divorce b/c the first words out of their mouth was "told ya so" and they were right.
 
You know my opinion on this.
 
best thing I ever did

Now I got remarried and feel like driving straight into a telephone pole
 
ortiz34 said:
We have a 4 month old
she's on the rag
I'm having personal issues

recipe for disaster
Click to expand...
(((Ortiz)))

I can SO freaking relate. Except my DH is the one on the rag (life is stressful).

Anyway, like I said, I can totally understand. It'll get better though, for all of us hopefully.
 
I will be the first one to admit that marriage ain't no bed a roses... I think the second time around it is even MORE stressfull perhaps because you are ready to call it quits sooner...

To this day, I feel like I ruined my Old Grump's life by consenting to marry him... He doesn't feel the same.

We've been through some shit, no doubt. But as long as two people are working towards a common goal and they like and continue to respect one another, I do believe that the relationship is worth fighting FOR. Love is what you find along the way.
 
It was the hardest thing that i have ever endured in my life.....they say divorce is the hardest thing ever you will ever endure....i think its tough when you dont want it to happen..it sucks...i took it really hard....i wouldnt be able to deal wityh this again. kids make its absolutely devasting also.
 
best thing I ever did

Now I got remarried and feel like driving straight into a telephone pole
Click to expand...

Are you serious??

It was the hardest thing that i have ever endured in my life.....they say divorce is the hardest thing ever you will ever endure....i think its tough when you dont want it to happen..it sucks...i took it really hard....i wouldnt be able to deal wityh this again. kids make its absolutely devasting also.
Click to expand...

Man reading that makes me not want to do it. I dont want to hurt my wife like that. When I read that I could feel your pain
 
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