GoldenDelicious said:im going through the same thing, encourage her to date but not escalate with several men
shes on the rebound and therefore vulnerable, get her socialized first so she can make a clever choice
my 2c
She decided she doesn't want to date anyone but I don't want it to be because of me....GoldenDelicious said:im going through the same thing, encourage her to date but not escalate with several men
shes on the rebound and therefore vulnerable, get her socialized first so she can make a clever choice
my 2c
javaguru said:Anyway, my father passed away last August and it's been tough on my mom, they were married almost 35 years. She's lonely and I've been going back to "The Holmes" to see her and take care of the "man responsibilities" as often as I can. Anyway, her sisters and friends have been encouraging her to date...but I have very mixed feelings.....I want her to be happy but.....I don't want some dickweed moving in on my mother....
regardless, she should socialize herself and have company around her in case 1) she changes her mind and does want to meet someone - being socialized means she'll be less prone to being played if she does meet someone (through overinvestment emotionally) and 2) ...because old people who dont have a strong social sircle get depressed and DIE.javaguru said:
so yah, i identify with you strongly
No, my dad was king playa.....caligirl said:
This is my father's character.....he was racist against Japanese but I understood it...caligirl said:
yes, i had to have an "intimate personal conversation" with one heavily in debt, old ladies man who was sniffing around my mother shortly after my father made his premature trip to heaven...no baseball bat needed with this one.....GoldenDelicious said:...ive made it clear that anyone doing anything silly with my mum is going to find themselves in a pretty terrible situation
javaguru said:Anyway, my father passed away last August and it's been tough on my mom, they were married almost 35 years. She's lonely and I've been going back to "The Holmes" to see her and take care of the "man responsibilities" as often as I can. Anyway, her sisters and friends have been encouraging her to date...but I have very mixed feelings.....I want her to be happy but.....I don't want some dickweed moving in on my mother....
you beat up a geriatric? LOL hi 55555555555!!rnch said:yes, i had to have an "intimate personal conversation" with one heavily in debt, old ladies man who was sniffing around my mother shortly after my father made his premature trip to heaven...no baseball bat needed with this one.....
(some people have a tendency to treat their aging parents like they're saggy, truant children with no sense or life experience).
javaguru said:Anyway, my father passed away last August and it's been tough on my mom, they were married almost 35 years. She's lonely and I've been going back to "The Holmes" to see her and take care of the "man responsibilities" as often as I can. Anyway, her sisters and friends have been encouraging her to date...but I have very mixed feelings.....I want her to be happy but.....I don't want some dickweed moving in on my mother....
musclemom said:Java, there's a lot of times that widowed parents will choose to stay alone if they even suspect their adult child doesn't like the person they're seeing. Your mother had enough good judgement to choose your father for a spouse, and to raise you, and no matter what, guess what, you're still the kid and that's the way it is until some neurologist tells you she's suffering from pretty severe dementia
Encourage her to go out, make friends, travel, see someone if she can find someone she likes, get hobbies, take classes. Most importantly, do everything you can to encourage her to socialize outside the home and family, to stay active! Don't let her become overly reliant on you/your siblings for social interaction. Keeping active, physically and mentally, having a purpose, a reason for being, is what keeps people from disintegrating. Nothing worse than sitting around in your old age waiting for your kids to find some time in their lives to see you for an hour or two, only to rush off back into their life to leave you sitting and waiting for the next visit.
She volunteered the information that she was being encouraged to date and she decided she didn't want to date. Anyway, she is part of a trio, with her sisters, that goes to different events and sings gospel music. She's actually been on TV and it's one thing I always encourage her to do.musclemom said:Java, there's a lot of times that widowed parents will choose to stay alone if they even suspect their adult child doesn't like the person they're seeing. Your mother had enough good judgement to choose your father for a spouse, and to raise you, and no matter what, guess what, you're still the kid and that's the way it is until some neurologist tells you she's suffering from pretty severe dementia
Encourage her to go out, make friends, travel, see someone if she can find someone she likes, get hobbies, take classes. Most importantly, do everything you can to encourage her to socialize outside the home and family, to stay active! Don't let her become overly reliant on you/your siblings for social interaction. Keeping active, physically and mentally, having a purpose, a reason for being, is what keeps people from disintegrating. Nothing worse than sitting around in your old age waiting for your kids to find some time in their lives to see you for an hour or two, only to rush off back into their life to leave you sitting and waiting for the next visit.
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