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This is not a sob story, this is just what I need to get off my chest
- Thread starter ryno9000
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needtogetaas
New member
Yes we have a great group of guys here. We all have been threw it and we all go threw it daily. Join the group and we are all in it together. Pm anyone of us anytime. Its just one more thing we have here at ef to help each other out.
I am a addict myself bro so I know how you feel. I know how it can ruin your life. I know it can tare down in a month what it took you a year to build. Its like having a dragon on your back for the rest of your life.
One good thing that has come of this is you at least admit you have a orblem and admit you need help. Just doing that you have done more then most of the addicts out there and there is hope for you.
Like bk said you have to want it. Keep it fresh in your mind what your old life got you and why you don't want to go there again. AA works if you work it so work it because your worth it. I know we have a lot of funny sayings and things we do in aa but they work.
As everyone knows I am always here on ef helping people. Its part of my recovery to do this
yall bitches keep me sober lol. Really I love you all though. So pm me anytime. Hell I will give you my number or skype and you can call me anytime to.
knockdown357
Good Bro
good luck on your recovery bro. I am not an alcoholic but I do know the effects of addiction and how it effects your feeling of self worth. I recently made the decision to stop using recreational drugs and have discovered myself again and doing things I used to enjoy. Just remember to take it one day at a time and surround yourself with positive influences. We are all brothers here and you have endless support from your ef family.
kidd73
Active member
Like needto said bro remember YOU are worth it. Read the book & work the steps. If you dont find a story (life experience) in the book similar to yours then you haven't read the book. It works if you work it.
Bro this is an important time for you. If your coming off cycle soon and already feeling in the dumps you're going to need our support. Get some numbers & make the call if you need to. We are ALL rooting for you.
Bro this is an important time for you. If your coming off cycle soon and already feeling in the dumps you're going to need our support. Get some numbers & make the call if you need to. We are ALL rooting for you.
OneBreath
Elite Mentor
I'm one too. Its amazing how alone and isolated the disease of addition makes you feel. With your opener about "most you will not understand" i could see it. Its a tool of the addiction. Its strong and will make you feel out of place and tell you "fuck it, who fucking cares" lets drink.
The ironic part of it is that almost everyone alive has some experience, either directly or indirectly via friends/family, with addiction. However it seems to be the most hidden, least talked about, of any human affliction. The pain is so deep and emotional that people want to hide it. It gets quarantined to 12 step groups and support groups for people who love those in the 12 step groups!
Its a killer not just of the body, but of the spirit. It kills your spirit and the spirit of those who love you. Your friends giving you the "cold shoulder" you mention just don't know how to deal with it and thus creating space is the natural reaction.
The first thing you have to realize is that you are on a path. And that path is forward, not back. So make it a point right now to stop beating yourself up. I ask you this, Who is beating you up? You or the addiction? What does the addiction thrive on? What feeling does the addiction want to cultivate? Guilt. This is the secret weapon of the addiction. Its ace. When times are tough for the addiction and you are feeling well, going to meetings, surrendering to your disease, searching for a higher power, etc, guilt is what he pulls out for the kill. Oh yeah, nothing like a good dose of guilt about the past to create a strong case of the "fuck its". "Fuck it! Might as well get wasted".
Again the path is forward. Keep your head up and stay in the moment. Don't let thoughts about that past start to dominate your mind. When that happens immediately try to recognize it and come back to the present moment. Whatever it is you are doing at the present moment is most important. Keep your attention there. Your addiction will try to direct your attention to the guilt from the past and the hopelessness of the future. You can surrender by doing nothing, just staying right where you are in the present. In the present you are not drinking. In the present you are doing something constructive like reading the big book, planning a workout, cooking a good meal. Stay with these "now" activities.
I better stop before i write a fucking novel. I'll leave you alone now but just one recommendation from personal experience. Alone at night just before going to bed is a brutal time. The feeling of being alone is so strong. Combat it by shifting the focus of your mind from yourself to images of our world as a whole. It can create a broad perspective that your addiction hates! Rent or buy this: Planet Earth : Discovery Channel to watch before going to bed. Fall asleep to it if possible.
Good luck and PM anytime. You are not alone.
The ironic part of it is that almost everyone alive has some experience, either directly or indirectly via friends/family, with addiction. However it seems to be the most hidden, least talked about, of any human affliction. The pain is so deep and emotional that people want to hide it. It gets quarantined to 12 step groups and support groups for people who love those in the 12 step groups!
Its a killer not just of the body, but of the spirit. It kills your spirit and the spirit of those who love you. Your friends giving you the "cold shoulder" you mention just don't know how to deal with it and thus creating space is the natural reaction.
The first thing you have to realize is that you are on a path. And that path is forward, not back. So make it a point right now to stop beating yourself up. I ask you this, Who is beating you up? You or the addiction? What does the addiction thrive on? What feeling does the addiction want to cultivate? Guilt. This is the secret weapon of the addiction. Its ace. When times are tough for the addiction and you are feeling well, going to meetings, surrendering to your disease, searching for a higher power, etc, guilt is what he pulls out for the kill. Oh yeah, nothing like a good dose of guilt about the past to create a strong case of the "fuck its". "Fuck it! Might as well get wasted".
Again the path is forward. Keep your head up and stay in the moment. Don't let thoughts about that past start to dominate your mind. When that happens immediately try to recognize it and come back to the present moment. Whatever it is you are doing at the present moment is most important. Keep your attention there. Your addiction will try to direct your attention to the guilt from the past and the hopelessness of the future. You can surrender by doing nothing, just staying right where you are in the present. In the present you are not drinking. In the present you are doing something constructive like reading the big book, planning a workout, cooking a good meal. Stay with these "now" activities.
I better stop before i write a fucking novel. I'll leave you alone now but just one recommendation from personal experience. Alone at night just before going to bed is a brutal time. The feeling of being alone is so strong. Combat it by shifting the focus of your mind from yourself to images of our world as a whole. It can create a broad perspective that your addiction hates! Rent or buy this: Planet Earth : Discovery Channel to watch before going to bed. Fall asleep to it if possible.
Good luck and PM anytime. You are not alone.
OneBreath
Elite Mentor
And yeah, join our group. EF kicks ass!
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/groups/new-beginnings-following-aa-traditions.html
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/groups/new-beginnings-following-aa-traditions.html
got2getripped
New member
I've been in the same situation ryno. I always liked drinking when I was younger, in fact I still do (always in the back of my mind). I had something bad happen to me years ago and I went out and drank just as you did. Well I started and didn't stop for probably 2 years straight. I got a DUI, lost the best job I ever had. Lost my friends, girlfriend, thousands of dollars and tainted the relationships with my family. I checked out AA and it just wasn't my thing. I've always believed in a higher power and would constantly pray for the strength to stop. I don't know if that had anything to do with my "awakening"; One day I just said enough of this. I used to bodybuild and was going to compete many years ago. I had everything then I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw and what I had done with my life. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
To make matters worse I had been taking xanax for years to deal with the anxiety to be able to function, so I had to deal with that as well. I stopped cold turkey just like that. It was the most awful nightmare ever, the withdrawals had me incompaciated for several weeks, I could hardly even get out of bed. I also would go into fits and punch my bed because of the pain and emotional turmoil I was going through. I turned myself into a psycho. Luckily I got through it with determination and the god I pray to.
Even though it's been years since I stopped I always think about it. I very rarely drink and if I do I make it only one. Once the urge to drink was there for me it never went away. That's why I would rather just abstain from alcohol because I would rather not be here anymore than re-live that time of mylife. I got mylife on track now, everything is going great and I feel great. About to get my B.S, family is proud of me and I have rebuilt the relationships that I am fortunate to still have.
Stay strong bro, you can PM me anytime if you want.
To make matters worse I had been taking xanax for years to deal with the anxiety to be able to function, so I had to deal with that as well. I stopped cold turkey just like that. It was the most awful nightmare ever, the withdrawals had me incompaciated for several weeks, I could hardly even get out of bed. I also would go into fits and punch my bed because of the pain and emotional turmoil I was going through. I turned myself into a psycho. Luckily I got through it with determination and the god I pray to.
Even though it's been years since I stopped I always think about it. I very rarely drink and if I do I make it only one. Once the urge to drink was there for me it never went away. That's why I would rather just abstain from alcohol because I would rather not be here anymore than re-live that time of mylife. I got mylife on track now, everything is going great and I feel great. About to get my B.S, family is proud of me and I have rebuilt the relationships that I am fortunate to still have.
Stay strong bro, you can PM me anytime if you want.
I can relate to whayt you're going through bro. Though I have never gotten that out of control, I have gotten very close. Something always keeps me from going over the edge. I have had a DUI and that may have slowed me down a bit, that and moving 300 miles away from most of the friends that I partied with.
Good luck bro. Be strong.
Good luck bro. Be strong.
Sean Scott
New member
never think you are alone ryno,we have all been there. I just got around to sorting things out and went and f'ed it up last night. But monday is back to clean eating and the gym. remember we are here for you and all have gone through something like this.
goodluck you are in my prayers.
goodluck you are in my prayers.
Ryno I was in the pit too, mostly when I felt lonely I had to go out and drink, sometimes I had ecstasy, partying at least 4 nights a week. The reason I got out was the girl you see on my avatar, close friends, family and the weightlifting lifestyle. I'm a bartender now serving hundreds of drinks a week, I might have a beer at the end of the night and fortunately alcohol or recreational drugs aren't a temptation to me. Loneliness and feeling of unaccomplishment it's the main reason that got me there, so I can say I'm a happy person now.
Love yourself man, if you don't no one will! There's nothing in this world more important than your well being, people might think this are selfish thoughts but the thing is unless you are in control of your life you will never have inner peace and you will remain unable. So stay the fuck away from alcohol, don't smell it, don't watch it, don't touch it. Fuck people who can't understand your need to stay away from it, society still sees bodybuilders as outcasts anyway, so embrace the bodybuilding lifestyle and get the rewards, a new self!
PS. I hope I never see you at the club I work!
Love yourself man, if you don't no one will! There's nothing in this world more important than your well being, people might think this are selfish thoughts but the thing is unless you are in control of your life you will never have inner peace and you will remain unable. So stay the fuck away from alcohol, don't smell it, don't watch it, don't touch it. Fuck people who can't understand your need to stay away from it, society still sees bodybuilders as outcasts anyway, so embrace the bodybuilding lifestyle and get the rewards, a new self!
PS. I hope I never see you at the club I work!
