I'm one too. Its amazing how alone and isolated the disease of addition makes you feel. With your opener about "most you will not understand" i could see it. Its a tool of the addiction. Its strong and will make you feel out of place and tell you "fuck it, who fucking cares" lets drink.
The ironic part of it is that almost everyone alive has some experience, either directly or indirectly via friends/family, with addiction. However it seems to be the most hidden, least talked about, of any human affliction. The pain is so deep and emotional that people want to hide it. It gets quarantined to 12 step groups and support groups for people who love those in the 12 step groups!
Its a killer not just of the body, but of the spirit. It kills your spirit and the spirit of those who love you. Your friends giving you the "cold shoulder" you mention just don't know how to deal with it and thus creating space is the natural reaction.
The first thing you have to realize is that you are on a path. And that path is forward, not back. So make it a point right now to stop beating yourself up. I ask you this, Who is beating you up? You or the addiction? What does the addiction thrive on? What feeling does the addiction want to cultivate? Guilt. This is the secret weapon of the addiction. Its ace. When times are tough for the addiction and you are feeling well, going to meetings, surrendering to your disease, searching for a higher power, etc, guilt is what he pulls out for the kill. Oh yeah, nothing like a good dose of guilt about the past to create a strong case of the "fuck its". "Fuck it! Might as well get wasted".
Again the path is forward. Keep your head up and stay in the moment. Don't let thoughts about that past start to dominate your mind. When that happens immediately try to recognize it and come back to the present moment. Whatever it is you are doing at the present moment is most important. Keep your attention there. Your addiction will try to direct your attention to the guilt from the past and the hopelessness of the future. You can surrender by doing nothing, just staying right where you are in the present. In the present you are not drinking. In the present you are doing something constructive like reading the big book, planning a workout, cooking a good meal. Stay with these "now" activities.
I better stop before i write a fucking novel. I'll leave you alone now but just one recommendation from personal experience. Alone at night just before going to bed is a brutal time. The feeling of being alone is so strong. Combat it by shifting the focus of your mind from yourself to images of our world as a whole. It can create a broad perspective that your addiction hates! Rent or buy this:
Planet Earth : Discovery Channel to watch before going to bed. Fall asleep to it if possible.
Good luck and PM anytime. You are not alone.