tell me

[Carmen]

you're most embarrassing moment of your life.

here's mine...
i was in college, dating a boy my parents weren't really crazy about. They left for the day and my boyfriend and i ventured into my bathroom to take a shower together.
since nobody was home, we had LOUD sex- not something we usually had.
We finish up, open up the door to run to my room for towels... and there are my parents.

 

[BileStew]

Pics

 

[Smurfy]

i got caught drunk and totally butt naked in the basement of this guy's house by his mom the following morning. he and I had passed out the night before on the basement floor, without getting dressed. that was really fucking embarrassing in fact Im still disappointed in myself for all I remember was hearing this screaching voice yelling

"thomas you better get up and get HER dressed before your father comes down here to work"

 

[Smurfy]

you're most embarrassing moment of your life.

here's mine...
i was in college, dating a boy my parents weren't really crazy about. They left for the day and my boyfriend and i ventured into my bathroom to take a shower together.
since nobody was home, we had LOUD sex- not something we usually had.
We finish up, open up the door to run to my room for towels... and there are my parents.

if that were me, and my dad caught me, i wouldnt be here to tell about it and either would my boyfriend.

 

[Carmen]

if that were me, and my dad caught me, i wouldnt be here to tell about it and either would my boyfriend.

omg it was a BAD scene. they HEARD the whole thing, so not only did they not like the guy, they had to know we were going at it like MAD while they were out, and they had to hear EVERYTHING.
we ran out of my house so fast. mom tried to lessen the embarassment but my dad wouldn't even look at me.

 

[Dial_tone]

shameless hussies....both of you!

(but if there are any pics you know what to do)

 

[HUCKLEBERRY FINNaplex]

Well,not long ago,I was walking into the movie theater,and the previews were already on,so it was dark inside.There is a middle,carpeted area that devides the front seats from the middle to upper balcony,that is used as a egress to get from the right to left hand sides of the theater.

Well,I'm walking across this carpeted area,looking upward to see if there are any seats in the mid to upper balcony,and I don't see it---Some old dude had placed his metal 'walker'(the thing with two cane like appendages and wheels)directly behind the last row of the front seats(in other words right in the walkway).Now,it's already dim in the place,but directly behind that last row of seats,theres nothing but pitch black shadows.

Now just imagine,speed walking while looking sideways(I had glanced in front of me a couple of times to make sure I wasn't going to bump into any PEOPLE),and hitting a snarl of tangled,mobile metal head on with no prior warning,and no way to even see what it is.

I hit this sumbitch,got tangled up in it,and the fight was on-Nothing but asses and elbows,clickety-clackety,and me swearing and laughing.I was fighting so hard to stay on my feet that I swear,the last couple of seconds,I was WALKING that mo-fo across the carpet...Finally untangled myself from it,and just threw the sumbitch across the walkway.The entire theater was looking at me and laughing.I ran up into the back row of the upper balcony,and slid down in my chair so that only my eyes and forehead were peeking up high enough to see the screen.

Summery-I got my ass kicked all up and down the movie theater by some old fucks walker.

 

[BileStew]

I cannot remember any embarrassing moments. But I did get so drunk one time, I locked my keys in the car. I stumble up to the house, take my index finger and try to unlock the front door. I must have been there for 2 minutes when all of a sudden, the door opens. I yell.."Holy shit, it worked". A voice on the other side says back.."That's right asshole, it worked". It was my Dad, he was on the other side, grabbed my arm and dragged me in.

 

[jerkbox]

I cannot remember any embarrassing moments. But I did get so drunk one time, I locked my keys in the car. I stumble up, take my index finger and try to unlock the door. I must have been there for 2 minutes when all of a sudden, the door opens. I yell.."Holy shit, it worked". A voice on the other side says back.."That's right asshole, it worked". It was my Dad, he was on the other side, grabbed my arm and dragged me in.

well, at least you weren't trying trying to use your penis

 

[BileStew]

well, at least you weren't trying trying to use your penis

Don't think that didn't cross my mind had my finger not worked.

 

[Carmen]

Well,not long ago,I was walking into the movie theater,and the previews were already on,so it was dark inside.There is a middle,carpeted area that devides the front seats from the middle to upper balcony,that is used as a egress to get from the right to left hand sides of the theater.

Well,I'm walking across this carpeted area,looking upward to see if there are any seats in the mid to upper balcony,and I don't see it---Some old dude had placed his metal 'walker'(the thing with two cane like appendages and wheels)directly behind the last row of the front seats(in other words right in the walkway).Now,it's already dim in the place,but directly behind that last row of seats,theres nothing but pitch black shadows.

Now just imagine,speed walking while looking sideways(I had glanced in front of me a couple of times to make sure I wasn't going to bump into any PEOPLE),and hitting a snarl of tangled,mobile metal head on with no prior warning,and no way to even see what it is.

I hit this sumbitch,got tangled up in it,and the fight was on-Nothing but asses and elbows,clickety-clackety,and me swearing and laughing.I was fighting so hard to stay on my feet that I swear,the last couple of seconds,I was WALKING that mo-fo across the carpet...Finally untangled myself from it,and just threw the sumbitch across the walkway.The entire theater was looking at me and laughing.I ran up into the back row of the upper balcony,and slid down in my chair so that only my eyes and forehead were peeking up high enough to see the screen.

Summery-I got my ass kicked all up and down the movie theater by some old fucks walker.

i just came close to peeing on myself from laughing so hard.

 

[Carmen]

well, at least you weren't trying trying to use your penis

if he did, the embarrassing part would have been if it fit.

 

[jerkbox]

lol, i just thought of one time in college, probably not the most embarrassing, but pretty bad.


I was in the cafteria with my gf at the time, and we were putting our trays away or whatever after we were done eating, she was wearing a hat, and jeans or whatever.....so, i put my tray away and see her standing there by the door facing away from me.....i walk up behind her, and put my hand on her ass and ask her if she's ready to go. she turns around and looks at me, and it's not her.....lol, it was some other girl dressed pretty similar with the same kind of hair.

she was however standing behind me. I was so embarrassed...they all just laughed at me.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

so smooth boxbox

 

[BileStew]

if he did, the embarrassing part would have been if it fit.

It was a big doorknob.

 

[Smurfy]

I hit this sumbitch,got tangled up in it,and the fight was on-Nothing but asses and elbows,clickety-clackety,and me swearing and laughing.I was fighting so hard to stay on my feet that I swear,the last couple of seconds,I was WALKING that mo-fo across the carpet...Finally untangled myself from it,and just threw the sumbitch across the walkway.The entire theater was looking at me and laughing.I ran up into the back row of the upper balcony,and slid down in my chair so that only my eyes and forehead were peeking up high enough to see the screen.

Summery-I got my ass kicked all up and down the movie theater by some old fucks walker.

In the history of my time here on EF, i have never read a funnier fuking post. ever. I think i just pulled a muscle in my ab laughing so hard. Holy God , the visual Im getting from the story will keep me laughing for years to come; thanks.

 

[HUCKLEBERRY FINNaplex]

In the history of my time here on EF, i have never read a funnier fuking post. ever. I think i just pulled a muscle in my ab laughing so hard. Holy Gpod, the visual Im getting from the story will keep me laughing for years to come; thanks.

Words truly do not do the event justice...There is no way to properly sum up the calamity.All I know is that if someone had taped that,it would have won the Grande Finale of America's Funniest Home Video hands down.I was truly saying,"WTF?!!!!"while I was in the heart of the battle.It was stunning.

 

[awittyusername]

I hookup with this chick who wants to take me home from a club. But, I have a meeting in the morning. So, I tell this chick I'm a born again virgin. She takes it as a challenge to get me. So, after a few phone calls of acting inocent and telling her I won't have sex w/ her. I agree to go to her house. (planning to act like I wasn't interested in sex w/her, so she would put the moves on me.)

She lived about 45 min away so I had to piss as soon as I got there. But, I say hi to her roommate and chat for about 5 mins. Then, I ask to use the bathroom. So, I start pissing and a lean over the counter so I can check out my hair ,give myself the thumbs up ,etcs. (trying to be cool) But, I didn't realize when I leaned over to be cool and look in the mirror, I had pissed all down the side of my pants. They were soaked!!!!!!!!! I F-N started freaking out bc the girl and her roommate were in the next room waiting for me. So, I take take my pants off and try to wash them in the sink. Now, I realize they will wet for hours. The girls start asking "Are you OK?" So, I say F-it. And, I took off all my clothes, but my boxers. (they were didnt get wet) I bust out the bathroom and grab the girl and throw her on the couch and start making out w/her. (Remember, this is a first date and she thinks I'm a goody goody born again virgin.) I figured they would get pissed and I would just grab my clothes and leave without them knowing I pissed all over them. But, she went for it and her room mate left.

 

[pitbullstl]

lol, i just thought of one time in college, probably not the most embarrassing, but pretty bad.


I was in the cafteria with my gf at the time, and we were putting our trays away or whatever after we were done eating, she was wearing a hat, and jeans or whatever.....so, i put my tray away and see her standing there by the door facing away from me.....i walk up behind her, and put my hand on her ass and ask her if she's ready to go. she turns around and looks at me, and it's not her.....lol, it was some other girl dressed pretty similar with the same kind of hair.

she was however standing behind me. I was so embarrassed...they all just laughed at me.

I have one close to that, my wife and I had to go on a cruise last April cause one of my friends was getting married, anyway we were in port for the day, and everyone decided to go snorkeling, not my thing but oh well. So were snorkeling along, and it's beautiful, bright colorful fishies everywhere, crystal clear water, the works. The water was pretty shallow, like 5 feet, so every so often I would pop up to see where my wife was. I came up and saw she was about 60 feet to my left, so I dove down, and made a beeline for hair ass with my snorkle. Just as I was about to reach her my two assclown friends swam by and kicked up all kinds of sand.......I plunged ahead....snorkel into ass. I came up to admire my handiwork, and it wasn't her. It was some dutch chick who everyone on the cruise had been drooling over for three days....she looked at me....I turned bright red.....said I was sorry, she laughed and said no problem......her husband just looked the other way........guess he didn't think it was funny.....neither did my wife. When I say my snorkle was in her ass...........I MEAN........snorkel IN the ass.

 

[Longhorn85]

you're most embarrassing moment of your life.

here's mine...
i was in college, dating a boy my parents weren't really crazy about. They left for the day and my boyfriend and i ventured into my bathroom to take a shower together.
since nobody was home, we had LOUD sex- not something we usually had.
We finish up, open up the door to run to my room for towels... and there are my parents.

Your poor, poor pop. No man should ever have to hear his daughter getting fucked.

 

[Longhorn85]

i got caught drunk and totally butt naked in the basement of this guy's house by his mom the following morning. he and I had passed out the night before on the basement floor, without getting dressed. that was really fucking embarrassing in fact Im still disappointed in myself for all I remember was hearing this screaching voice yelling

"thomas you better get up and get HER dressed before your father comes down here to work"

Hell, if his dad saw you he probably would have said, "that's my boy!"

 

[Sub-Zero]

I have one close to that, my wife and I had to go on a cruise last April cause one of my friends was getting married, anyway we were in port for the day, and everyone decided to go snorkeling, not my thing but oh well. So were snorkeling along, and it's beautiful, bright colorful fishies everywhere, crystal clear water, the works. The water was pretty shallow, like 5 feet, so every so often I would pop up to see where my wife was. I came up and saw she was about 60 feet to my left, so I dove down, and made a beeline for hair ass with my snorkle. Just as I was about to reach her my two assclown friends swam by and kicked up all kinds of sand.......I plunged ahead....snorkel into ass. I came up to admire my handiwork, and it wasn't her. It was some dutch chick who everyone on the cruise had been drooling over for three days....she looked at me....I turned bright red.....said I was sorry, she laughed and said no problem......her husband just looked the other way........guess he didn't think it was funny.....neither did my wife. When I say my snorkle was in her ass...........I MEAN........snorkel IN the ass.

i walked in on a girl pissing in a boat bathroom onetime on a snorky trip..

the embarrasing part was i said sorry and closed the door before i remembered to check the goodybox

 

[Sub-Zero]

oh eah one time i was also jerking off and ihit myself in the eye back when i was like 13

 

[Subzeero]

Ok back in high school i always flirting with this girl and she was totally into me as well. But we would never really do much. I think she was a new immigrant from Spain and she hardly knew any English, so she was a little shy. One time i missed my bio test, so i had to write it in some classroom at lunch time. Coincidently, she was writting the test too in the same class room. The teacher gave me the test and he left. After a while we started looking less at the test and more at each other. long story short, it came to a point where she was holding my piece and her shirt was half off. At that point the teacher returned. He was this cool dude, i think he was gay, with long blonde hair. And i was one of his "good kids". So he just told us to finish off and he will be back soon. I was totally shaking, it was horrible. All this happened and the girl wanted to carry on. I have more embarrasing moments, but I think that was the worst ones. I was always shy with that teacher afterwards.

 

[SoreArms]

you're most embarrassing moment of your life.

here's mine...
i was in college, dating a boy my parents weren't really crazy about. They left for the day and my boyfriend and i ventured into my bathroom to take a shower together.
since nobody was home, we had LOUD sex- not something we usually had.
We finish up, open up the door to run to my room for towels... and there are my parents.

I had something similar happend except her parents were at work. We get out of the shower and get into her room when the front door opens. It was her dad who had come home sick. We are both shitting bricks in her room. She goes out and greets her dad and asks why he's home and blah blah blah. Our plan was to pretend I wasn't there and hide in her room until he fell asleep (because he was sick) or left. WE had forgotten that I parked my car right in front of her house and he knew all along that I was ther but decided to play along just to see how far we would take it. He came home at about 11:00 AM, at 3:00 PM herdad was still hanging in the living room and my gfhad to go to work. She asked her dad for a rde to work which would have worked perfect 'cause then I could leave while they were gone. Well he calls his wife and tells her whats going on and she comes home early from work too. I stay locked in her room, laying motionless to not make any noise. I was supposed to work at 5:00 pm, I didn't make it that day. At around 6:30, everything in the house was quiet, they must be gone or asleep, I tought. I snuck outher window, slowly made my way to the street adn then quickly walked around the block. I made it! Except now I had to go back and get my car. I waite five minutes, I walked back hiding behind cars and trying to be as discreet as possible. I get to my car, oopen the door, jump in and jsut as I'm about to turn the y key I hear my name being called loudly. It was her dad who had been sitting in the front porch and saw the entire episode including me walking out of the side of the house and down the end of the block. We had a big talk about it, he nad his wife had a big laugh while I was scared and embarrased. My gf still; not knowing what happened kept calling the hose and asking her dad questions just to see if he would mention anything. He kept it up until she came home and said "hey, theres a visitor thats been waiting here for you", she tried to act naive "really, who?" Well behind door number one was thwe grand price whcih was me. We had dinner that night and talekd about the whole episode. Her parents who hadn't been so thrilled by me before for some reason liked me a lot more after that.

 

[Dial_tone]

You must spread the buttcheeks of an EF Thick Chick before giving karma to SoreArms again.

 

[RADAR]

I Had been trying to get in the pants of this 16 yr old i was dating, i was 27 her folks liked me , after several close attenpts i had it all set up to rent a room at a motel that following saturday nite, well comes fri she is getting second thoughts about all this (she 's a virgin) He mom & dad when i arrive that afternoon the date is for that night, takes me into the kitchen sets me down explains that "we think alot of you.blah, blah" However our lil baby daughter (insert name) isn't ready for sex ..................all this time i sitting there ,eyes big as golf balls , mouth hanging wide open telling myself "she told them" "She actually told them"
after the lecture i had to drive home,Still dumbfounded & shocked that she told them i was trying to have sex with her.............. man i was sooo imbarrassed , i didn't show up for the date that evening, or for saturdays date either for that matter.
RADAR

 

[Dial_tone]

I Had been trying to get in the pants of this 16 yr old i was dating, i was 27 her folks liked me , after several close attenpts i had it all set up to rent a room at a motel that following saturday nite, well comes fri she is getting second thoughts about all this (she 's a virgin) He mom & dad when i arrive that afternoon the date is for that night, takes me into the kitchen sets me down explains that "we think alot of you.blah, blah" However our lil baby daughter (insert name) isn't ready for sex ..................all this time i sitting there ,eyes big as golf balls , mouth hanging wide open telling myself "she told them" "She actually told them"
after the lecture i had to drive home,Still dumbfounded & shocked that she told them i was trying to have sex with her.............. man i was sooo imbarrassed , i didn't show up for the date that evening, or for saturdays date either for that matter.
RADAR

ouch, lmao

 

[Carmen]

You must spread the buttcheeks of an EF Thick Chick before giving karma to SoreArms again.

LOL!